My Toddler Is Making Me Crazy

As they say, it takes a village to raise a child. Your little girl is living, breathing proof of that maxim.

 

I noticed experience caregivers (like my son's daycare nanny and my mom), talk a lot to the child. They get them to express their thoughts and ideas which helps them relieve the negative energy. When I am driving my son around, I would talk to him and ask him questions. He would try to answer (he's not a big talker) and answers with grunts, grins, and pointing. In the mornings, I struggle to get him to do what I need him to do, but when I talk to him, and make him feel empowered, he is much more cooperative. Like choosing his own clothes, or what snack he wants to eat.

My son also like watching tv, but I control what he watches and sit with him. We talk about the program, and when the program is done, I will tell him that they are going to sleep, and that he should say bye-bye or good-night.

 

Basically she is testing you. If she screams and you bend over backwards to make her stop screaming she knows screaming is equal to get whatever she wants. Let her scream give her time out, for her age 2-3 mins of time out is correct. And time out time starts only when she settles down, i.e. if she moves from her place before 2 mins are done 2 mins start again. Find a safe corner and let her be there screaming/crying don't budge. And same with tab/tv time she should not be watching more than 20 mins of tv/tab time. Make sure even you too don't use tab/phone in front of her. For how long will she cry or throw tantrums?? I know sometimes 20 mins only seem unrealistic and even it is difficult for me to adhere to that rule but nothing wrong in trying.

 

This seems to be a power game n she's testing her limits. When She feels she's getting away with one thing, she will try d second thing, den d third n it goes on n on.

U need to control this behaviour now, hittin / kickin u is not acceptable at all, weder it's at home or public. Hold d hand or leg dats hitting u, not letting her wiggle n stare into her eyes n say no.

Let her scream all she wants. Don giv in. Dis can b a tough one wen she turns pink n all. But if she's not getting any more attention wen she screams, she will eventually stop. Tel her no fun outing at all for her till she stops screaming. U can put her in her room wen she starts screaming n Tel her dat she can talk with u wen she's done screaming n only then will u listen. Don give her anything, even d essential stuff, wen she's screaming.

N if u want her off gadgets, hide d gadgets. U can't expect a kid to hav self control wen she sees one rite in front of her. Kids can b relentless wen it comes to gadgets. So dats completely under ur control.

Regarding the potty training, show her some videos n books dat relates to the kids. Say only babies wet their pants, big gals won't or smthng like dat in a way she relates. Dis can take some time.

A kid cannot be controlled by noice n force alone. Dey wil b like "uh ya she screams for everything" n won't even hear us. So It's thru love as well. Love does not mean giving in to tantrums, it means doin stuff together n most importantly, communicating with her. Like, really talk to her like u do with an adult but on topics related to her, do stuff together, read together with funny voices. Do arts n crafts together, u can even cook n clean together. Hav a 'lovey dovey' time wer u jus share hugs n kisses n tumble around d bed tickling each other or chasing each other around d house playfully. Since she's challenging u so much n seeing u as d enemy, Make sure she sees u a person who loves her a lot, But will stop her from any wrongdoings. Love n discipline has to be a balance, more or less of any one side is gona b a disaster.

D parent dat stays at home with dem tend to b taken for granted at times, don give in. It's jus a phase, der r gona b many like dis. U jus make sure u r der to guide her in d rite direction evrytime.

 

Op, u need to give her complete care love and attention. Stop looking into your mobile or any electronic gadgets in front of her. Speak politely and nicely with her. Kids does these kind of things to grab attention. Give in to her demands or let her win sometimes. Before blaming your child you need to first correct your behaviors. You said she wanted to drink from a dirty sippy cup. If it was dirty why was it in front of her, whose mistake is that? If she doesn't brush her teeth one day, nothing is going to happen. Why do you create so much of stress for yourself. If she strays in the stores, tell her nicely that you won't take her out next time and stick to that for a week. Instead play with her inside the house. Be her best friend. You can slowly change her behaviour. Be very nice, extra gentle with her. Make her your first priority.

A friends son was behaving exactly the same way you dd behaves. She started giving importance to him, talking nicely, treating him with respect as if he was somebody else's child and within 2 days she could see the change in his behaviour. Hide away all tab mobile etc and give your 100% to her. You too can see the change in her. She is craving for love and attention.

 

@sanjuruby3
I think restricting electronics and lack of interest in other activities are making her do these. My DS to does these acts when at home. Few things that worked for me.
1. Deleting everything from my mobile and not using it in infornt of him except for phone calls
2. For Tab, when my DH goes office he will keep it in his bag and take it with him (At least act and hide from his view). Once my DS realized it not at home he went back to playing with other toys.
3. Involve them in your activities like helping you in small thing etc.
4. Give her fav toy as treat instead of TV. My Ds likes bubble gun, if he behaves good he will get it to play with for 30 min, no restrictions applied on mess created.

Tell ur DH strictly to follow these and not go give into her demands. If she cries let her cry, by giving in she is getting around every thing by crying.

I know it is very tough at this stage but we have to find ways to deal with it.

 

I just thought of sharing this
Kahlil Gibran On Children