My Story Of Rebuilding Myself Post Divorce

A short about me: I was married at the age of 26. I came out of marriage within a year because of mental torture and abuse. I got my divorce papers in a year.


I was shattered, broken down and desperately wanted to come out of the mess. I was low in confidence and my eldest brother motivated me to rebuild myself first. I took some baby steps and it took me really two years to build myself stronger.


Here’s how I went about it:


Writing: I maintained a diary to write what I was feeling. It was very much necessary to vent out my feelings and writing it down in a diary helped me to exactly do it. At this stage I started writing short stories for my office blog.


Work: I gave my very best to work that time by giving 100% concentration. I didn’t put long hours in work just because I didn’t have a family. I see many people stretching at work just because their marriage/love life failed. You will do more justice to work if you spend only the time required. There are several things in life to be explored with time available.


Weight Loss: I was exploring things I didn’t do earlier. I enrolled myself in swimming class and what a thrill it was to learn floating and swimming. I also joined Zumba classes and loved it. All this helped me gain confidence and gave me more inclination in life.


Toastmasters: This was the stage I joined the toastmasters club and it changed me towards better in many ways. I remember the first time I stood in stage and couldn’t even speak for 20 seconds and eight months later I was competing in a speech contest before 300 plus people. Also it gave me an amazing set of friends whom I cherish till date.


Surrounded my life with positive people: Many people thing marriage failure as personal failure, your life will turn good if you cut contact with them. I have a small group of friends who just loves me, understands me for the way I’m.


Ignore, Ignore, Ignore: From milk man to distant relatives will have an opinion of why your married life didn’t work. Just remember these are opinions.No one knows what you underwent. One of my neighbour asked how am I able to walk in street post the marriage failure. I just replied if you can ask this question and been seen , so can I. I learnt the art of ignoring which was a real saviour.


Hobbies: This was the time I learned fashion jewellery. I was amazed that I could design jewellery well and it was fun learning something new to broaden your horizons.


Finance: Nothing makes you feel independent than to sort out your finance. I learnt about various things about investing and I bought a flat that time. Buying a house was a big milestone in my life.


I think some of this or all of this helped in building a better person. It helped me to do something meaningful and spend my time effectively.


I will write soon about my groom search and married life.

 

Thank you

 

Thanks for your wishes Babyhope

 

Sorry to hear that your new marriage is in trouble. I really hope things work out well for you.

 

You are right Beingsoulful..Picking up yourself is both essential and tough part. Rest of the journey will be easy.

Thanks, I will write the next post soon.