My Relationship with my-inlaws (a refresher from the regular one's)

Hi Ladies,

I have been following posts in this forum for about 4 months now & just thought may be my post about my relation with my in laws & hubby would be a refresher for those who want to hear something different from the regular stuff.

To start with ours was an arranged marriage( both of us were in the US before marriage), the initial plan was me staying at my in-laws place for about 3 months after marriage to so that I can IT crash-course while my husband returns to his job, my MIL was happy with this as she wanted to teach me all her cooking recipes but later me & hubby realized we could not stay apart from each-other for such a long time, so I joined him & returned to US within a month after marriage.

Relation with ILS:So we have a routine when it comes to calling in-laws, MIL video calls us every weekend on friday night & saturday night. Although she wants to talk to us more frequently, my hubby does not give her this chance, he loves them & cares about them but is really lazy to talk to them which is a trait in favor of me, as I do not have to deal with her constant what did you cook today kind of questions.

MIL is a good women but ultimately she is a MIL & wants to keep tabs on her DIL but because of my darling DH, she does not really get a chance, in fact back in the days when I was a student preparing for my thesis defense, she used to complain to DH that I do not call her everyday & my DH used to defend me saying she has to study & apply for jobs, she really does not have time to talk to you guys, poor MIL had to be quiet.

FIL is good person too but gives a lot too much to his daughter(gifts, jewelry & money).I don't mind him giving but he asks my DH for money. Initially I never cared about how much was to given to whom, but after some time I observed this bias(sons, DIL's are not given anything while daughter is given lots of gifts) & what I did to solve this problem was just made my DH realize how much debt we have & how we have repay all of it & also invest in property so that our future is secure, now when his parents ask for money to give to SIL, he says "first let me clear all my debts then we will give gifts to others".

SIL, dunno what to say about her, she is of my age, but is a SAHM with two kids of which the eldest is 7 yrs old. I feel sorry for her and at the same time am jealous that her parents & brothers pour so much of love to her and her kids( My family never gifted me a thing after marriage, infact now & then I send them money). My IL's gift her something or other every two months. In fact, she was gifted 1.5lakhs jewelry each as adapaduchu katnam on my marriage and my BIL's marriage, IL's asked my parents to give this but my dad refused to give dowry in any form, so eventually my DH gave his sister 1.5lakhs for the lakshmi haram. Apart from this, she does not interfere in our lives at all.

Summary: At present I have a blissful married life(Touch-Wood), all because of my DH who unknowingly keeps me & IL's at a distance(coz of his lazyness) & hence there are no clashes between me & my IL's. My parents & IL's share a good relation, they visit each-other quite often. My mom and dad are very social and considerate people,who please everyone with their good behavior.

Pardon my grammatical mistakes if any

 

Her's was an early marriage(when she was 20)..and she conceived soon after her wedding( Unplanned)..so she really get a chance to enjoy with her hubby, and her PIL's make her do all the household work, her MIL does not lend a hand in work, agreed the MIL is still working fulltime but she could at least help while she is home, I witnessed this while I went to my SIL's house, there were 15 guests at home and her MIL just went to kids room and started entertaining the kids, later me and my MIL went help the poor girl in kitchen.