My Question

I think you shouldn't overlook it completely...but don't make a big deal about it too. Direct conversations are generally the best.....but every situation has to be dealt differently. Maybe he 'll avoid the maid if u confront your husband, but it might be an indication of something more 'serious', and maybe you need to understand him better. Be alert to how your husband acts with women. Try to have a discussion with him on something like what do men think about random women around them in general....and in the course of discussion casually bring the subject of the maid...and try to understand him, his overall perspective in such issues, what does he think about men who have a tendency to stray.....etc etc...

Please don't get me wrong. But since my teenage years I have experienced that some men are obsessively lustful, and try to find their objects of lust in whoever is reachable/vulnerable for them. Ofcours you husband might not be one of them, but I think its important for all women to keep a note of such tendencies in their husband....and if required reach out for counseling for their husbands.......Don't get mad at him, understand his perspective, his inclinations and if you find that something about his nature can be a threat to your relation and intimacy in future......try to work out a solution with him, or bring some excitement in your life with him...Keep your approach positive , but also always pay attention to little signals in your married life........little signals want to tell you something, and wherever there is a problem ---there is a positive solution too.

 

Change the maid simple.
Men will be men, some feel that a good -looking woman is a woman whether she is a maid or a PHD !
You can say jokingly to your DH that he is finding the kitchen interesting now ! He will take the hint and understand that you have noticed his interest .
But if you accuse him openly then he will create an ugly scene.
You should listen to your sixth sense and deal with DH tactfully.

 

keep an old lady as maid to avoid confusions and feeling uncomfortable.......as flowerlady said men will be men.

 

Always we should be very careful when keeping maid.Why dont you pick an aged maid,Like 40s-50s?
(If you two are 30s).
Don't have any second thought,either change the maid or stop having maid and manage your work without maid.

 

I dont see the point of asking your husband about your suspicion. what are you expecting to hear. Even if he is interested do you think any man will admit it/ He will deny right away. And if you are wrong it can backfire in a big way. He will start accusing you of a suspicious mind and what not. That trust bet h and w will be broken. why bring all these difficulties. Keep quiet and observe what is going on. If needed, you make excuse that bai is not happy, if she quits it is a big problem for the family, you ask me if you need anything. Like this try to manage. If that also doesnt work, and your suspicion is true then you have bigger problem on your hands. Dont confront without proof. Never a good idea.

 

Sentiments so far have questioned the motives of the husband into the kitchen. My question is whether the maid is doing something to get him into the kitchen. I would find that a very dangerous situation as even the best guy is a dope since he is a man. (you all know what I mean so don't go bashing me for saying that)

 

No, I dint mean so. What I meant is before you start thinking more about this and connect his other actions with the maid, its better to stop this! Whatever you imagine could be true, even it I were you, I might have thought the same. So, before you get disturbed more and start thinking more, put a STOP to this, This is what I meant.

Hope ur problem will be solved soon.

 

Thanks rnair for explaining my view!