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My Problem...please help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by balboa, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. aaral

    aaral Silver IL'ite

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    Your wife does not realize how lucky she is and how unlucky you are to be stuck with her. She is giving a bad name to her parents. Hope after the talk with her parents things work out. All the best and God bless.
     
  2. balboa

    balboa New IL'ite

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    Hello IL's I have spoken to her, her parents and my parents as well. I should say the tempers have raised, but I dont hink there is a chance for reconcialation. She is adamant that she would live her life like she wants it to be and this time she says she will find a job, and until then her father will give her money. But she wants to come back just because we are married. Her father agrees to this, and says his daughter is right and independent. They want me to live like roommates. So guys me or my parents are not in total agreement to this, so I think there is only one option....
     
  3. parvathi1980

    parvathi1980 Platinum IL'ite

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    So the parents are OK with her behavior?
     
  4. balboa

    balboa New IL'ite

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    yes I think so, I tried to explain to them that the money is not the issue, its the behaviour, and they are like she is like that only, independant why should she listen to you. I told them what they are asking is a far fetched version of normal life. But her father shouted at me saying his daughter is more intelligent than me and of high calibre..and all...so I left it at that point.
     
  5. tinku

    tinku Silver IL'ite

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    Its better to seek divorce and proceed. I think her parents have brought her up without making her understand what life is about.

    Its not only her, even her parents need counselling. But that is not your job. You only can decide to quit now. Approach a lawyer and tell all the details and start acting.

    I am sorry to have guided you for a divorce, since I too consider it as a last option when nothing works out. Hence I never want to suggest divorce to anyone, but your situation compels me to and sometimes I dont even post a reply if I feel divorce is the only solution. But those people seem to have no respect for your words. Hence staying in this relation will definitely bring problems in some way or the other in the future and you cant find solution by approaching her parents who are just concerned about their daughter's freedom than her marriage.

    Sorry for my suggestion.
     
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  6. balboa

    balboa New IL'ite

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    NOthing to be sorry about I guess, except that me and my parents are in for a rude shock. I need to bring my parents to a strong level and proceed further. I have that only option left to lead a happy life. thanks for all the help IL'ians.
     
  7. aaral

    aaral Silver IL'ite

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    Good riddance to bad rubbish. Move on and all the best
     
  8. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    If what you said is reality, then certainly she does not value marriage, she does not know what marriage means.
    Have you tried talking to her and her parents. Is she like this before marriage or is it a new development after marriage!
    She certainly needs one-to-one talk with you. Ask her clearly what she think life is and what her expectations from this marriage. Take her to a counsellor.

    PS: She is behaving the way the husband acts in many marriages!!
     
  9. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Balboa,Probably you can give a long rope to her. I agree that divorce is the only option left for you to live a happy life. But if possible can you delay it for two or three months? Because now when the tempers are high, people may say few things. Give them some time, so that they are sure of what they are doing. If she/her parents doesn't come back by then you can proceed with seperation.
     
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  10. Artbria

    Artbria New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Read ur post...one thing i need to mention is, you didnt say any good point abt her...there will be no one on earth with all 100% +ve or -ve....let it cool down for some time....have a little break....let you both realise the need for each other in life...i have seen, heard stories like this or even worser than this(having illegal relationship etc..) and how ppl are sorting out those issues....

    I am 26 yrs old and got married recently....like all other marriages(love or arranged) we had our own set of problems....one thing i have learned over these 8 months is, when ever you have an argument, just be mum for some minutes...allow the heat to cool down....and, after we think abt it, we will be in a better position to find a solution for it...

    I would say, all the couples have probs..one way or the other....just be patient..who knows?..she too may have a list of complaints abt you :) be confident..you can come over it...ALL IS WELL.... :thumbsup
     

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