My Next Problem - Help!!

You have got enough warning!I don't know what kind of family would travel for a honeymoon with their son and the son wants his family to be there with him during honeymoon.Marry a grown-up man!

 

I second Srividhya and BB...
Though you say u know this person for 6+ months, it looks like u dont know his priorities at all..
Its again you have to be clear on what is acceptable(can live with) and what is not acceptable(cant compromise) in marital life.
I too think that there is more to the picture than what is projected.. He may be trying not to reveal something which he thinks you may not take it well..
If honesty is what you expect from your spouse then please speak up..
I would say,Its hightime for you take a neutral stand and analyse the facts(dont provide your reasons for someone's actions) and decide what is comfortable for you.
You cant keep guessing all your life...

 

My suggestion would be "Just Run". You have plenty of doubts about this guy, no fool proof way of finding out what he is up to. As someone said before better safe than sorry. Move on and find someone who is capable of spending time with you without having to have an entire family to hold him up from behind.

 

Hi dear,

I guess what most people have mentioned here is right. I'll be your example. We never went on a honeymoon after our wedding. He thought May or June would be too hot for it!! We trailed on temple tours and by luck got a chance to move to Tokyo. We did have some time for ourselves, but the feeling of intimacy did not come easily (as much as it seemed to appear before the wedding). On our first anniversary he left me at home alone and went off to work cos he thought there was no one else to celebrate it with. And till date he refuses to wear good clothes for any festival cos he thinks there isn't much to celebrate by the two of us. I am not making him sound like a bad guy. He loves me and has tried to change..but not that it has ever helped.
To top it all, he does not have close friends and is not that attached to his family either.

I've seen my own cousin do what you just said..planning a family honeymoon. But they did move to a different country after the wedding and though sorting stuff was difficult, they managed it.

The point I am getting at is, postponing the wedding, discussing post marriage life clearly with him and trying to relocate to a different city from him parents will help. Its not easy, but better safer than sorry.

We've lived away from our families for all our married life and its the only reason things have remained under control. Its not like everything's perfect, but I know I have no outer interference like so many other examples posted here. Its not like daughters-in-law are breaking up the family. Its making them understand - good fences make good neighbours. If they knew the fine line that makes this difference, we'd not want to go so far with these ideas.

Hope it all works out for you dear. Good luck!!

 

Just break it (if you have doubts then break it now).

OP - Clearly your ideas do not match his'. You meaning of fun is the same as his'.
I dont know if he looks at it as a honeymoon - or just a situational thing as - only dunring marriage everybody comes home so he might be planning a trip with everyone as that is the only time eevrybody's schedule will match. And have plans to go somewhere alonge with you after ocming to us or after you are on your own.

To be on safer side-..okay how is he otherwsie, - observe , observe and observe. If you think you will feel suffocated - then just break the now than later. To save you form lot of pain. I know its difficult to expalin this to mum n dad and relatives -(Relative? ask them to go jump in the drainage outside yr home.....just kidding). But tell mum n dad - what your expectations are and your frears n everything. tell them how bad they would feel if you have to break it after marriega. And lets be honest - trying to find second allicance after D will be more difficult than finding one now.

But make sure to ask your fiance. Dont make it sound like your are complainnig. think of it as a great oppurtunity to get to know his side of the family. Tell him the same and then ask him where does he want to go with you for honeymoon or whatever moon (really th idea is good but word is so silly) after we go to our home. .tell him you enjoy family time n that both sides are your family now - so you have new set of parents, sibling. that should win soem ocnfidence and that is a good way to go i feel. At the same itme if that feeling has to be the same forever - husband has to do minor things - they both need to have their time too so they can feel refreshed n not suffocated. enough on this. ok bye. Best of Luck with everything.

Again - if in doubts then its best not doing it. So thnk bt it. talk to your parents - they will help you decide and they should know your fears too and your ideas bt marrieage if they are gogin to search for groom.. And done let them say - 'things will become normal once you are married' - just tell your dad first then mum (or whoeevr is practical tell them first or tell them both together).