My Marriage - A Bag Of Lies!

Dear OP,

If I were in your shoes,
1. I would surprise him on a tourist visa and go straight to his office and meet him at his desk.
2. Find out if something else is 'fishy' with him, that stops him from taking you to Ireland. IMO and also from my personal honest experience, if the H is reluctant in taking you to Ireland and starting a life with you; then he is really into someone else (please don't be alarmed). But this could also be the reason as my husband was not moved on from his ex and so he did not will to immediately take me to US and cited money problems as I resigned my job to get married to him. He said living is US is so costly and with one salary, we cant have a comfortable living. He forgot that I have also been abroad for my on-sites before marriage (both US and Singapore) and that his reasons washed my soul away. So, this big step by going in there and finding the truth for YOURSELF, is very important according to me. You don't have to even inform his side. just keep your own family informed of your visit and take at least a week off to get to know the truth YOU DESERVE to know.
3. If with God's grace, nothing fishy is there; then use that time for your own good. Try to convince him to take you on a dependent visa and tell him in two months you can find a job there. I think this private time will be a very good opportunity for you bcz before this you had to talk to him in his family's presence.
4. Also tell him a lie that you have already put down your papers and see his reaction in person.
5. As you are there for a week, he will have to spend time with you in this time you can smell a lot about what's happening in his head.
Until you are sure of him, don't get emotionally attached to him and be safe and act wisely on this. I hope you find a way soon.

 

Dear Rajeni,
I am a silent reader of IL forums and today I read your story completely and it left me very disturbed. This guy just spoiled the life of a strong courageous woman. He will rot in hell. One tip I want to tell everyone is please please please trust your gut instinct and don't let anyone ( parents, well meaning relatives) decide for you, if you have a strong gut feeling that things will not work out, please stay away from that relationship as early as possible. You could have very well done at before your marriage. But I just hope that you find your prince charming as early as possible who will treat you like a princess coz you really really deserve it.