My Life is a total mess!!!

They wanted to make sure you don't leave this guy and having more kids you would really stick with them.That's the plan!!!!!

Parents do really worry about the society and in-laws worry about there son.They will be supportive of you but they don't want you leave there son.

I think this is very effective,if any DR can tell your husband that he is not going to live longer then his mind my start working.Because sometimes I read those stories in the news where person can't live longer time then they will start working on there health.

 

Never ever think about having baby when your own life is not happy, stable. You have more than enough problems to deal plus you have responsibility of your daughter. First try your best change your husband or live separate. IF he doesn't change then you know what you have to do. Don't waste your whole life changing drunkard. Every women should have right to choose their destiny!!

 

he is nice when he is not drunk. Okay rite. But he is drunk most of the time & abuses you right. I don't beleive that one doesn't know what he is doing while being drunk. He manages to come home, that means he has enough sense to find a way to his house. He manages to shout or beat you, mind you not his mom or father or neighbour, he finds you & abuses you. Do you think he doesn't know what he is doing? i DON'T THINK SO.

You can't force him to come to doctor. He has to take the step. I think little bold action from you like moving out temproraily will send a strong message to him. And yes please do not bring another baby to this world when you know you can't give him/her good place to grow.

 

U r in a complete abusive environment..
Child growing up in this kinda environment will mostly grow up insecure and codependent...The chances of agreeing abuse as natural is quite high bcoz thats the only environment they ve seen and grown up with..
Think about ur lill gal falling for a similar abusive man when she is grown up.. Is that what u want to give her...
Please protect urself and ur baby gal from this abusive person.. If not for u, for the kid's sake.

Abusers Never change unless and untill they realise..

 

Shubatra,
Mothers will support their son, even if their son commit murder. This has always been the case. I don't think you are expecting your MIL to take actions to correct her son. Let her not talk to you, don't bother with that.

But do something for the sake of your kid. Your husband can't help himself. Noone else can correct him. Only you are in a position to help yourself & the kid. Your kid deserves to grow in much calm environment. Move out temporarily & clearly say that you are not coming back till he takes some positive action. If he is not willing take any action, then its time for you think whether this man is worth living with.

 

Dear Shubhrata,

I know how you feel. My dad used to drink everyday and in the morning when he was not drunk, trust me even though he had temper issues, he always gave the perfect 'advice', planned all finances well and saved money for me, my sis and mom but in the nite, I shook out of fear everyday. I used to hear my dad screaming in the middle of the night even though he was actually sleeping then. I dont remember a single nite where I had a sound sleep. Everyday my mom went through torture, he screamed, shouted, broke things. She dint leave him eventhough she was financially independent coz of us. I cry nd curse myself for this birth. I feel sad my mom had to go thru this for me. I am sad my mom had no support. I feel depressed all the time when I think of these so literally shut these memories in my mind for a long time. I am writing this for you. I am married now and even if there's a small fite with my husband I take things very seriously, curse that I was never happy in my life and feel suicidal. I dont think things were ever better in any way for us coz my mom stayed on with him for us. I think infact it ruined our life as well. Having said that, I also take my mom for granted, as children we never respected her coz my dad was always cursing her. Even after marriage, he calls me whenever he has a fight with my mom and I curse both of them for ruining my life. I seriously feel my mom shouldve left him. He is like a split personality, he is otherwise very very caring towards me and doesnt like it if we shout at my mom but then I cant forget the miserable childhood I had and I feel depressed and sulking all the time. Your husband wouldnt go to the doctor I know and its also true he wudnt change. Its for you to decide what you want to do with your life but take the right decision at the right time and DON'T give birth to another baby, never!

Hugs to you and your kid.

 

cant you join your kid in a day care or take some maids help? can your single salary afford that?

my only concern is ...your kid after seeing your wayof handling things ...i.e taking abuse daily...will learn that...theyw ill think this is the norm of the marriage...and they may develop insecurity or agressive nature...

 

Shubatra,
There are lot of options for taking care of five year old kid post school time. Unless & untilo you are serious about moving, you won't look for those options. I think for some reason or other you are scared to take any step. Somehow or other you are not completely pissed off or provoked.
Read the above post by klniha. Do you want childhood memories of your kid to be a drunk father, who abuses the mother & crashes out. I really wish you take some action for the kid or if possible put your kid in residential school, and you can wait for him to change.