happyandsad, I hear you. I hear the frustration. I hear the helplessness. I hear the happy and the sad you. But, know this. If you are feeling this way, chances are he is also feeling the exact same way about you. Like others already suggested, you need to reset the expectations. We are not as young as we were 12 years ago. In my early 20's, I could stay up all night and go to work the next day. I could do laundry, grocery, cooking, cleaning and full time job simultaneously. Now, my husband never really bothered with work at home. I was OK with it. So, he was OK with it. Now, i cannot do all these things without help. The expectation is set that I do it alone. I fought with him, nagged him cajoled him to no avail. He is not going to do it. Either I fret and cry about it and fight with him or hire a maid (if we can afford it) or do it at my own pace. Of course he is going to get upset when things are going slow. That's the expectation you need to correct. Either help or hire or wait for it to get done in its own pace. I still cook/clean etc But I also realise that he is doing his own helping thing which I had taken for granted. Look around. is he doing anything that you have not noticed?