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My Heart Cries For My Sis Who Is Now A Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by blessed, Feb 14, 2018.

  1. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    No my friend, we need a world full of men with cojones that can stand up for their wives and for the parents as and when the need arises. Problem solved !
    Women do it all the time !

     
  2. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    No not all the time . When a woman gets sandwiched between her husband and her parents she struggles too. There are enough stories on and off IL.
    One should not be placed in a position where they need to choose. Its unfair and cruel to the one who cannot walk away because of his/her emotional makeup.
     
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Sorry but we are totally going off on a tangent here. The son here can keep his parents happy by spending time with them and keep the wife happy by not forcing her to spend time with the parents. As simple as that.
    The title of this post speaks volumes about our attitudes in general. I would have preferred “ my heart cries for my sister who is now a Mother to a son”.
    An educated adult male is not held accountable for his actions, the blame automatically falls on the DIL.



     
  4. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    True.
    Best Solution to solve a problem.
     
    Sandycandy likes this.
  5. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    I beg to differ here, it is not as simple as that. No mother (being a mother of two sons and therefore MIL to 2 DILs) would enjoy the company of her son, knowing he has issues with his wife due to their visits. The ideal situation would have been if they could have hosted them and sent them being only a short stay. As we have all said, there surely is much more underlying issues between the siblings, and hence the animosity. It is no use conjecturing on a blame game here.
     
  6. Deborah

    Deborah Gold IL'ite

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    Your sister should take some time off her son . The son will realize his mistake one day. Silence speaks louder than words.
     
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  7. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Definitely the son's behaviour is too bizzare. We don't know the details of the relationship.It's very rare for a son to ignore parents like this- almost impossible to imagine.Surely there is some matter.
    Maybe the DIL feels too ignored by MIL.Maybe it's a big deal for her that MIL doesn't call her much etc - maybe she makes a big fuss about it , maybe she expects more from her MIL. Son is staying alone in US with only wife to support him, so he is feeling that sense of loyalty/protectiveness towards her because he feels his mom did ignored and hurt his wife. Your sister should talk to her son and ask him what's the issue.
    Relations have been spoilt beyond a point, so now your sister has to be the bigger person and do the necessary else relationship will be spoilt. After long time, son will realise his mistake. But now, your sister has to work harder to clear the misunderstanding. It is really heart breaking.
     
    shravs3, blessed, yellowmango and 2 others like this.
  8. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    This particular son is an exception. Generally sons do huge sacrifices for their parents, especially in India. Better not to generalise according to gender at all.
     
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  9. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    In the lighter note daughters always have parents in their heart:thumbup:. Agreed there are good sons. But still a daughter knows to show affection more , they will spend more time with parents. Son's affection
    Will not be shown much, he won't be sentimental too.
    It is nature.
     
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  10. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    Maybe you are right. :)
     
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