My friend on a Wrong Way

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

sangeethakripa said: ↑

Dear adisumI appreciate your concern for your friend. Your friend is not being cheated. She is into this pit with her sense . So there is nothing you could do in this regard. Even when the parents of this girl come to know if your boss is going to support her at that crisis moment she would incline to be his concubine rather than obeying her parents. My suggestion for you is to move out calmly. Because either way she may not listen to you as you have discussed all the pitfalls of this relationship. I have been in your shoes some years back and tried all the best possibilities in the earth to get the girl out of such a relationship. In a span of 3 months, She willingly agreed to marry a Scientist, asper her parents wishes. Grand Marriage. But in a span of two months,awfully she returned back to her ex-lover(already married with a kid) leaving her DH & Parents in a disastrous state. Just my tip to you. "Be away".
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Even I am afraid of this. The case is she is my friend front he age of 3 , since then we went to school together, college was same and even we are very close to each other's families.Thats why so much of concern, but I guess @Catwalk and you are right as to stay away from her life. Its her life and her decisions. Its just so hard for me. Her parents will get to know one day and they might ask me that If I knew that before or not, What will I say then ? Its just so confusing

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

chocolate said: ↑

Op, As much as you want to call her your best friend, I don't think you think of her as such. Frankly you shudnt have asked her whether she had an affair in the first place. If she felt she needed to tell you she wud have. Stay away. It shud be her choice. You cant help it if she feels happy in such relationships. In fact if you don't approve don't talk to her. Cut her off. Next time she comes with her woes tell her its not your concern and brush it off. The zest of the matter is her life her choice. Don't involve. Good Luck.
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Hi dear pardon me If you didn't get it correctly, though I clearly mentioned that once she was my best friend, She isn't now dear. But Why I shouldn't had asked her about the affair? If I got to hear such kind of stuff from a 3rd person about my friend , I think I have full rights to ask her about the matter. Yeah involving into that matter and giving suggestions isn't my right and she may not like it. You said "If you don't approve" , Do you think Its a thing that might be approved ? Yes I will stay away as this seems to be the best as of now.

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

Iamagoodgirl said: ↑

op cut contact with her.Be very formal.Dont admit she is your friend in your office.
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Yes after trying enough to make her understand I had already started being formal with her. The thing that is hurting me is that it isn't bothering her that I am not talking to her

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

anika987 said: ↑

I have a friend who is sailing in the same boat !problem is these people will never listen no matter how hard u try.u r just wasting ur time.the heart will rule the mind and this relationship will end only if he dumps her or if she gets attracted to someone else.She will be treated like a puppet which is sadis ur friend married too?or is she single?do not understand the woman and why they get attracted to married men.propably it gives them a high that they r able to steal another woman's husband.Also,the men are flirts anyways.even if ur friend is not in an affair the dude will find someone else.The only one to suffer here is the poor wife
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She is single, not married yet . Her Parents are asking her to get married, they are even ready if she has someone in her life. They even asked me If I know about her Choice for marriage or not and I just told them I have no idea regarding this. She herself knows what kind of Man he is, He has two beautiful daughters . I just wonder how a father of two daughters can ruin life of someone else's daughter... He had affair with another girl in office before my friend and my friend knows that still she is behaving like a moron. That man's wife is so pretty and a successful lady on career front, really don't know why he can't focus on her wife

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

Cool10 said: ↑

I know you are concerned about your friend and that guy's family. But informing to parents might backfire on you. 1. Her parents might not believe you at all. -> Runing your relationship with all2. They might believe you and try to convince your friend: - She might get convinced and move on. But she will still have bitterness towards you.- She might mend for some time and go back down the same path after some time. In this case your friendship gets bitter and you achieve nothing- Might protest her parents - You achieve nothing here too. Additionally her parent's peace is ruined.She is an adult who is well aware of the consequences. Its her decision to make. I would suggest staying away from this matter.
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You are right, My relations are very good with her parents still they might not believe on this thing as it concerns their daughter's future. I will work on your suggestion Thank you

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

katochsimi said: ↑

Love is blind ....the more you try to make her understnad the more she will be attracted towards him..you stay calm and dont give any suggestions unless and until she asks for.because she is already ruining her life and you your peace of mind..though she is your friend but i guess you cannot do anything in this case. she decided to fall and ruin her life let her. if your really wish good keep praying
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thank you simi ... I will keep praying... I know her from past 21-22 years, may be coz of this Its hurting me that she has become so blind that she is ready to leave her old friend for the fake love of a married man .. I just hope she will come out of this soon....

SGBV · Jun 26, 2015

Either she could be blindfolded in the thing called love with her boss. Nothing could open her eyes until she is hit hard by the reality. Then it may be too late for her to change anything.

Or

She is extra smart, and cunning that she knows what is she doing. Such persons do not need any guidance.

Let me explain both characters clearly, so that you can decide which one your friend is.

The former ones will be too naive, yearning for a love, issues with finding alliances and too emotional. So, can't help them from falling in love with anyone who touches their heart.

The latter ones make calculative moves. Befriending with a married man cum boss could support their career, future both professionally and financially. After a while, they know how to escape from this mud to some unseen countries. Where some innocent men will be always ready to marry them in the name of arranged marriage through matrimonial sites or again blind love marriage with poor/no background checking.

chaithup · Jun 26, 2015

in the whole episode, we need to be worried about the guy, whom she will be marrying officially.

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

SGBV said: ↑

Either she could be blindfolded in the thing called love with her boss. Nothing could open her eyes until she is hit hard by the reality. Then it may be too late for her to change anything.

Or

She is extra smart, and cunning that she knows what is she doing. Such persons do not need any guidance.

Let me explain both characters clearly, so that you can decide which one your friend is.

The former ones will be too naive, yearning for a love, issues with finding alliances and too emotional. So, can't help them from falling in love with anyone who touches their heart.

The latter ones make calculative moves. Befriending with a married man cum boss could support their career, future both professionally and financially. After a while, they know how to escape from this mud to some unseen countries. Where some innocent men will be always ready to marry them in the name of arranged marriage through matrimonial sites or again blind love marriage with poor/no background checking.
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She is not at all naive or over emotional. She had a relation in past and that ended up in breakup as the boy was cheating on her ( I am not sure of the reason though) so may be yes she is yearning to be loved. No issues with finding alliances. Her family is well off , her father has a good name in society and she is pretty & qualified enough to get a good alliance.

I have felt sometimes that money attracts her a lot... Its hard to believe but She seems to be of latter type

Thanks SGBV , You cleared my Mind. I am feeling like I never mattered to her. She always said to me that I am her only friend whom she can trust and we will be together even after our kids will born. It is just so hard for me to accept that I don't matter to her , as I am not talking to her She isn't even trying to clear the things out as if she was waiting for my mouth to be shut..

adisum · Jun 26, 2015

chaithup said: ↑

in the whole episode, we need to be worried about the guy, whom she will be marrying officially.
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Only if she will agree to get married !! Till now she is all okay to be with a person who roam around with her in the day time and at night takes pleasure from his wife..She said she is fine to live her life like this ...lost her senses I guess :x