My friend on a Wrong Way

adisum · Jun 25, 2015

Hi folks..

This is regarding my Friend, Once Best Friend ( I will refer her as G)... We both were working in same company around a year ago. Our Boss was not a good person, he is a flirt always see a girl in a bad way, always talk in double meaning. Because of such environment I didn't felt comfortable there and left that job. G was thinking same as me and was saying that once I will leave she too will leave that job. But when I left , she didn't left.. Okay its her life her choice, I thought may be that company was near her residence that's why she continued.

But later I heard from another mutual friend that G is having affair with the boss. I scolded that friend and didn't trust her. I confronted G and she bluntly refused. I was happy that I have an honest friend.

This year in January G told me that she had left that job and scolded the boss that he is a bad person and all that. I said I knew that already , Don't worry you will get a better job. But after 10-12 days that same mutual friend told me that G has rejoined in the same company, I again didn't trust her blindly and asked G, this time G said yes she had joined. I was like Okay but you must have told me. Now G suddenly told me that boss had proposed her in January and that's y she left , I asked her Why did she rejoined then. She said She has a soft corner for boss , she is still working there and boss has gifted her something on valentine's whaatsmiley

FYI, He is a married Man in her late 30s with two daughters. I asked G that this is insanity, you know this relationship has no spine. G said " I can't help myself. Boss has told me that he will keep both relations simultaneously. "

I asked her all the questions available What she will say to her parents, think about his little daughters. Families will be broken, Your future will be disastrous How can you trust a man who is cheating his own wife for you, he can cheat you also for a third girl. But she just didn't hear any of my words. Then I gave up. I stopped talking to her , stopped suggesting her.... But deep inside my heart I want her to quit this relation ...

What should I do ? Should I keep Quiet in this and let her fall into pit of disaster or should ask her to quit that relation by involving her parents ? Please suggest ladies

catwalk · Jun 25, 2015

This is not your business. Stay away from it.

Your friend G is an adult. She knows very well what she is doing. Let her go through the roller coaster.

sangeethakripa · Jun 25, 2015

Dear adisum

I appreciate your concern for your friend. Your friend is not being cheated. She is into this pit with her sense . So there is nothing you could do in this regard. Even when the parents of this girl come to know if your boss is going to support her at that crisis moment she would incline to be his concubine rather than obeying her parents. My suggestion for you is to move out calmly. Because either way she may not listen to you as you have discussed all the pitfalls of this relationship.

I have been in your shoes some years back and tried all the best possibilities in the earth to get the girl out of such a relationship. In a span of 3 months, She willingly agreed to marry a Scientist, asper her parents wishes. Grand Marriage. But in a span of two months,awfully she returned back to her ex-lover(already married with a kid) leaving her DH & Parents in a disastrous state. Just my tip to you. "Be away".

katochsimi · Jun 25, 2015

Love is blind ....
the more you try to make her understnad the more she will be attracted towards him..you stay calm and dont give any suggestions unless and until she asks for.
because she is already ruining her life and you your peace of mind..
though she is your friend but i guess you cannot do anything in this case. she decided to fall and ruin her life let her. if your really wish good keep praying

yukthasri · Jun 25, 2015

I also feel that she can decide for herself

Cool10 · Jun 25, 2015

I know you are concerned about your friend and that guy's family. But informing to parents might backfire on you.

1. Her parents might not believe you at all. -> Runing your relationship with all
2. They might believe you and try to convince your friend:
- She might get convinced and move on. But she will still have bitterness towards you.
- She might mend for some time and go back down the same path after some time. In this case your friendship gets bitter and you achieve nothing
- Might protest her parents - You achieve nothing here too. Additionally her parent's peace is ruined.

She is an adult who is well aware of the consequences. Its her decision to make.

I would suggest staying away from this matter.

anika987 · Jun 25, 2015

I have a friend who is sailing in the same boat !

problem is these people will never listen no matter how hard u try.u r just wasting ur time.the heart will rule the mind and this relationship will end only if he dumps her or if she gets attracted to someone else.

She will be treated like a puppet which is sad

is ur friend married too?or is she single?do not understand the woman and why they get attracted to married men.propably it gives them a high that they r able to steal another woman's husband.Also,the men are flirts anyways.even if ur friend is not in an affair the dude will find someone else.

The only one to suffer here is the poor wife

Iamagoodgirl · Jun 25, 2015

op cut contact with her.Be very formal.Dont admit she is your friend in your office.

blackbeauty84 · Jun 25, 2015

Your friend clearly know what is she doing and chose to do that. It's tough but you will have to accept that she is choosing this path and stay away.

chocolate · Jun 25, 2015

Op, As much as you want to call her your best friend, I don't think you think of her as such. Frankly you shudnt have asked her whether she had an affair in the first place. If she felt she needed to tell you she wud have. Stay away. It shud be her choice. You cant help it if she feels happy in such relationships. In fact if you don't approve don't talk to her. Cut her off. Next time she comes with her woes tell her its not your concern and brush it off. The zest of the matter is her life her choice. Don't involve. Good Luck.