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My Friend Always Declines Help From Me, But Accepts When My Husband Offers It !

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by anitalovesyou, Oct 18, 2017.

  1. Naari

    Naari Platinum IL'ite

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    What if you offer a ride to her in front of your husband & then if she declines, have your Dh offer the ride too? Would she accept his offer in your presence too? If she does, switch the helping person right there making excuses like you are going that side! Or even in your absence once she accepts Dh's offer, have Dh make an excuse & have you help her instead.. Idea is to test her & confuse her, so she doesn't accept his offers again..but here Dh needs to work with you on this!
     
    IniyaaSri likes this.
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    This is kind of funny.
    Both of u stop asking her??
    Is she married??
     
    sindmani likes this.
  3. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    I think the OP's concern could just be that reciprocate funda.

    OP ought to get together with her guy, and work out a price list. How much for each of
    • change washer to stop a dripping faucet
    • replace toilet flush tower
    • change light bulb in cathedral ceiling of foyer
    • sort out the wires behind the home entertainment center, label them.
    • move in box-spring, mattress set.
    • slay beasties... like spiders in bathrooms.
    Dealing with one's plumbing issues has the potential to get to Sir Galahad territory.... slaying beasties, rescuing damsels....kind of work. It is best to deal with it, when it is starting to bother. However, I noticed that the OP began with "My Friend..". Sometimes people share with their bff.
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  4. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Married people should stay away from non spouse plumbing.:rolleyes:
     
  5. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    In Asian countries there isn't as much DIY (do it yourself) related frustrations. They could always call some service person, and muddle through the thing.

    In Amreeka, there is DIY, because household hardware help is too darn expensive; also, single girls would have to worry about their joints being cased for later access. A friend's bf or husband is a safe person, i.e., already owned by someone else, to have come over and look at one's plumbings.... as it were.
     
  6. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Why the guessing game ? Let the husband know he is not to offer help in your absence and that you don’t appreciate her declining your offer.
    Why can’t she fix her own stuff or buy groceries herself ? If she doesn’t drive, there is Uber/lyft. There are detailed YouTube videos to fix things these days and if it’s complicated enough she has to hire a professional. If she cannot do any of this, she is not in a position to choose who she seeks help from.
     
    AshMenon, sindmani and Sunshine04 like this.
  7. ZenSojourner

    ZenSojourner Silver IL'ite

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    Yeah, but there's the whole thing about only accepting rides from the man, not the woman who is (supposedly, at least nominally) her actual friend.

    That strikes even me as a little odd ... but as for fixing things around the house, just go with him. He should just not be alone with this woman for any length of time. Present it as killing 2 birds with one stone - while hubby fixes the leaky toilet, "friends" can share some masala chai chat, right?
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  8. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    Huh ! That's odd! Is she 'your' friend or your 'husbands' friend ?

    Either she hates you or she's uncomfortable with you ..

    Or she loves your husband or is very comfortable with him ..



    Are you both obligated in some way to offer this friend help for every thing ?

    How often do you see this friend that you both take turns in offering to help all the time?



    Did you speak to your husband about it?

    Have you voiced out your feeling ?

    What does he have to say about it ?

    Is it possible for you and / or your husband to stop offering any help ?

    Can't he avoid interacting with her ?



    Have you spoken to this friend about it?

    How long are you gona continue this ?

    Did your friend reach there only relying on you, on your hubby to be exact ?

    Is she living alone ?

    Does she come to you for help directly or responds only when you offer ?


    Next time even if she asks your husband directly for help, ask him to tell you n you do it.

    Keeping him away from her may save you from any unwanted problems looks like.

    Trust your instincts !!!
     
    NeetaR likes this.
  9. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    the op has not answered any posts till now
     
    sindmani likes this.
  10. lavani

    lavani Platinum IL'ite

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    Very good reply. It is like OP put a bomb and silently watching so many nice people to help her and kinda enjoying the show.
     
    tulip07, Sunshine04 and sindmani like this.

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