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My Experiments With GOD !

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Sabitha_K, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    As a kid, I was fascinated with the heroic tales of mythological warriors who fought against the dark forces.
    Good against the evil , light after darkness and serenity emerging from chaos being the motif of every epic , I gazed with wonder at the colorful comic strips of Amar Chitra Katha depicting 'Ramayana' and 'Tales of Lord Krishna'.

    I can't recollect my first encounter with God and how I was introduced to the concept of divinity.The earliest recollections I have are the venerations and idolatry performed during festivals where my mom would tell me that I had to be in the good books of God.What started off as an act of salutation to receive chocolaty perks continued emphatically with every passing exam and achievement during my formative years.I feared something would go wrong if I angered him.

    I was scared and frightened lest I fall out of his good books.I was fraught with fear during visits to temple lest I arouse the wrath of God owing to my ignorant disposition.Was my obeisance good enough , was my recital of slokha loud enough , was my devotion binding enough to appease him.

    I FEARED GOD !

    During my adolescent years , I had to battle the ambivalence in me to accept both Darwin and Divinity.This embittered battle through the teenage years left me in a state where I had to take sides, science Vs religion.At school it was science and at home religion.It was quite easy to quickly fit into a this model by drawing boundaries.

    I UNDERSTAND THE PERIPHERY OF GOD !

    I started to slowly let go off the fear that gripped me that God would harm me.I started to believe that God is forgiving and would never harm his kith.I started to ween away from the conventional practice of offering prayers.The visits to temples became less frequent from my side though my mom was very religious and used to follow diligently what the scriptures stipulated.I started to believe that someone so omnipotent and omnipresent needs neither loud prayers nor grand rituals to inform of one's presence.

    I AM GETTING TO KNOW THE TRUE GOD !

    I had been a voracious reader during my teens of sci-fiction genre and the more I read Isaac Asimov's work the less convinced I was that God existed.I had a new perspective of space & matter now which refuted what our scriptures and ancient runes declared as the abode of God.How can God exist in vacuum in space ? If he did exist, why doesn't the Hubble Telescope detect him ?

    I DO NOT THINK GOD EXISTS IN THE SHAPE AND FORM I HAD BEEN TOLD !

    Early twenties with the advent of internet in towns of India, opened up new gateways of knowledge where any kind of information and opinion is just a click away.Perusing through loads of web pages , my quest to find the truth became more elusive.I came across bizzare and delusional theories on the existence of God right from Gods are Aliens in space capsules to Time-travelling earthlings in time capsules.Reading tales of persecution in the name of religion , I doubted if God was a figment of imagination from a political activist.With little proof that god has ever existed , the more sceptical I became.

    I FALL SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN AGNOSTIC AND ATHEIST !

    Now in my late twenties, I turn around and inspect the voyage I have taken to unravel the mystery of god.I had neither been able to prove his existence nor deny his presence.I no longer wonder if he exists as I have realized that it is fruitless to search for something or someone when you do not know what it means to you.This quest has taken a new turn of late and instead of pondering if God exists I started listing what God means to me...

    It means assurance that there is someone holding my hand always and I am not alone.
    It means the force behind the miraculous life which starts off as a single cell and grows into a sentient being
    It means all things small and beautiful are endowed with the power to impact one another in this ecosystem.
    It means the heavenly order of day followed by night unimpacted ageless through hour-glass of time.
    It means the mighty tutor imparting innocence in infants and intellect in adults.

    Yes, it can be the forces of nature that sustain life on earth ;Fire, water, earth and air or the more abstract knowledge, intellect , conscience we are endowed with.I understand the omnipotence and omnipresence now as God is no longer contained in a form or visible in a color.God means different things to different people across various cultures and traditions and today for me it no longer means idol worship , endless chanting of mystic slokas or fasts.To me it only means acknowledging life in all its glory as GOD.

    I BELIEVE IN GOD !
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2009
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  2. Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

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    Sabitha,
    What a wonderful piece of writing. I must'nt hesitate to nominate this post.
    A masterpiece and iam sure many will identify with you. Your language and expression is so vivid and can't believe any one could have said it better.

    I loved your style and fluency which is endearing to me and your thought process is scientific and spiritual.

    Was waiting to read some real master pieces and must thank you for fulfilling it.
    Jaya
     
  3. varalotti

    varalotti IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabitha,
    A great read! In fact all of us go through these stages in varying degrees. With me too it started with an overbearing fear then a mild agnostic even an atheistic suspicion then parrot-like repeating of some slokas to win worldly favours and then the melting in love.
    At one stage I could not contain His love and poured out into a full length book,Ethanai Kodi Inbam Vaithai. Then I learnt the verses of Azhwars to some extent. And learnt about all those love stories about God. I started writing a series Oh My God! in Indusladies which ran for 17 weeks. And now I am writing blogs on God's love the latest one being "Can You Explain God's Love?" (you may click the same words appearing beneath my signature to read it)

    And you, Sabitha, has given me a summary of my life so far. But I am sure there is one more stage. The glorious union with the beloved. I am waiting for that.

    If only I had the powers I will precribe your post as a text for all college students.They should be told that whatever feelings they have about God are all right.

    I loved the words in italics which are soft and poetic.
    thanks for making my day, Sabitha.
    No wonder another spiritually endowed woman, Jaya, (JPatma) thought it fit to nominate this for the finest post. It indeed is the finest.
    love,
    sridhar
     
  4. Padmasrinivas

    Padmasrinivas Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Sabitha,

    A veritable chef d'oeuvre, a real masterpiece.... phenomenal piece of writing, logical analysis and one that makes me :bowdown to your incomparable penmanship...:clap

    (Phew! There I said it all... now for a deep breath before I can find words to say any more...)

    I see God in the birds that fly, the dew-covered rose buds, the green green foliage and the trees shorn of their leaves....

    In a child's bewitching smile, the sound of spontaneous laughter, the toothless grin on a care-worn face....,

    In the colours of dawn and dusk, the starry nights and the overcast skies....

    And I know She is right beside me 'cos I smell the intoxicating fragrance of jasmine in the air,

    As I saunter through crowded malls, wander down lonely by-lanes and walk unhurriedly in search of the one we call 'God'

    Sabitha, a superb post!

    Love,
    Padma

     
  5. Padmini

    Padmini IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabhita,
    What a thought provoking and poignant post!!!The way in which you handled the subject with your mastery over language made me spell bounded.
    you can see the God as you like. If you want to see God as a light, he appears as a light. If you want to see the God as a broom stick (I am not joking!), he appears as a broom stick.
    It is based on your belief, faith and love.
    Please be reminded, that God is everywhere in everything.
    If you believe in religion, you can not see the true power and beauty of God! God does not have any religion.I believe in the saying " Anbe sivam" i.e. Love is god.Showing kindness to other beings is god.
    Baby birds nest in the treetops,
    Cuddled 'neath their Mama's wing,
    As they snuggle ever closer,
    "God is love," they sweetly sing.
    God is love, God is love,
    All things tell us: "God is love."

    with love
    pad
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sabita,

    Welcome back afetr a long long time.i just visit Snippets , so maybe u were on indus but not here.

    i agree with u on all the points, that God is there to hold yr hand , that he gives theinnoicene to the children and intellect to the grown ups.

    and like u, i too dont pray that opften, rather i blog more.HAHA

    Superb one, and see what we missed all tehse days, in yr absence.So please do blog more.

    kamal
     
  7. Lalitha Shivaguru

    Lalitha Shivaguru Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Sabi,

    That was a masterpiece.

    You have carved my life journey so wonderfully dear. The stages you have described is like I visitng my childhood again. As slowly we grew and was branded an aethist and reasoning started and made me to love HIm more & more. I remember vividly when I went for an interview in twenties, i was asked by the General Manager whether I am a very God fearing person but I corrected him saying sorry I am a God loving person..he was agast at my immediate response but gave me the job and always praised for that kind of an answer.

    Great one Sabi....your language & style of writing is impeccable.
     
  8. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Dearest Jaya,

    I am honoured with your sweet compliments that have ripened my day.
    I always admire your attitude in life and the accompanying spirituality that makes a wonderful being like you so endearing.

    I was initially hesitant to post deliberating if my anguish powered rant at how religion is exploited in today's world would make any sense.Am I coherent and lucid to express myself ? I was jumping like a Jack on reading your feedback.:crazy

    Thanks for your encouraging feedback.

    Your gesture to nominate my post as 'Finest Post of the Month' sent me serenading into salsa after the warm-up jumps :)
     
  9. Sabitha_K

    Sabitha_K Gold IL'ite

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    Dearest Varalotti,

    If Jaya's feedback has rendered me the daily dose of workout I needed, your presence made me clop to a peppy African number with exhiliration.

    I have always admired your writing style and the niche you have carved for yourself in literary intelligentsia.Source of inspiration to a lot of budding talents and respite to a lot craving for quality writers.

    Thanks a lot for your wonderful comments.

    You have rendered me speechless now with your breath-taking feedback.

    :bowdown:bowdown:bowdown
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2009
    varalotti likes this.
  10. radhavenkatesh

    radhavenkatesh Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear most sabitha
    Title sounds like my experiments with truth :)) honestly every one would have passed through all these phases you have and still do beleive that one super natural power exists and that power we term as god give him names
    Right from the hanumanchalisa which we read when we fear of evil when we are kids to the fasts we do on shivaratri all are passed on to us from our elders as tradition we do still have archeological evidences that ramayana happend , dwaraka existed isnt it ??
    we Hindus unlike christians or muslims do have lakhs of gods to pray there comes the problem yet we are managing all of them sucessfully say multi-tasking
    love
    radha
     

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