My Dear GFs, Please Forgive Me! I Lied!

My Dear GFs, Please Forgive Me! I Lied!

I am now standing before my GFs with loads of guilt choking my heart, seeking your forgiveness for what I have done. I have always banked on your love and affection. The one thing I know for sure, as sure as the sun raising in the east, is that you will never let your BF varalotti down.

As a person charged of an offence, it is my duty to explain my stand. To describe the extenuvating circumstances, which the lawyers say is an integral part of justice.

But first the confession!

I will have to admit sheepishly before you all that I am the 'friend of Malathi Jagan' who wrote the poem, Rally Against God. I have been enjoying your love and affection all along.
Another instance of God's injustice. Conferring on someone something he does not deserve! I know very well that overwhelmed by your affection for me you will praise whatever I write. You know for a mother, whatever her child does is wonderful. Kakkaikku.... than.....

I have already attempted few poems. One was even published. Two of them appear in IL. But some of my friends (again GFs) told me that they were not poetic enough.

Hurt by those remarks I started writing this poem more than six months back. And these six months I have been through many things. Happiness, gains, losses, sorrows and pains. I used to write a line or two only when I am in the best of my moods. I completed the poem last Thursday.

Meanwhile an interesting exchange of ideas, mostly spiritual, was happening between me and Malathy. I had read her poems in the site. She is an acclaimed poet of our community.

Her letter to her son, though written in simple prose was poetical and was beautiful. I had this flash to have my poem posted as that of Malathi's friend. I wanted to stand away and see what you really think about my work.

In this arrangement I was sure that if you had found the poem worthless you will not have hesitated to say so. So when you started praising the poem I was really thrilled. Some of you went ahead and even found out the 'culpirit'. Some of you found out but did not tell but rather hinted about the authors identity in your responses.

I could not conceal myself any longer and hence I have now come in the open.
Whatever may be the reason, to have lied to one's good friends is definitely an offence involving moral turpitude, as they say in criminal law. I seek your pardon. And if you think I do not deserve your pardon, I am ready to accept any punishment that you may give.

At times when you ask your six year old to sing, he will feel so shy that he will ask you all to close your eyes as a condition to his singing. I did the same thing in a different form.

I am posting the poem here as a ready reference.

My special thanks are due to Malathi Jagan, who being a much better poet in her own merit, instead of posting her own poem, posted mine describing that as the work of her friend.

My namaskarams to Cheeniya Sir who visited the thread and posted another touching incident which shall stay with me till I live. I am indebted to all the kind souls who replied in that thread.

With the kind of love I enjoy from you all, I can easily extend the 'injustice' of God to your love as well.

May you all be ever blessed.
love,

 

A RALLY AGAINST GOD​

A Poem By Varalotti Rengasamy
​

Once there was a rally against God.
He was unjust, they said and I did nod.


Off we went in a procession long
To tell the world that God was wrong


At the end we all reached the town hall
When the night was about to fall


One by one they all climbed the stage
To speak against God, to vent their rage.


One said, “Not even once did He give
What I wanted in order to live.


There was no house grand
A wife fair or enough land.


Children smart or a car so long
He was always in the wrong.”


Another went up and cried and cried
What did I do, why should I be tried.


My health was never good
For I never had enough food.


For everyone there was always light
But my life was one long night!


So it went on till it was very late
And all had spoken about their fate.


Then they called me on the stage
And said you talk about your unpaid wage!


“Forgive me” I told them all
“I do not belong to you at all”


“But when we cried that God was unjust
You joined us; you walked with us and did your best!


“Yes, I did” I did sob
“What happened?” cried the mob.


‘God is unjust’ you said in verse
But in my case it was the reverse


He gave me love; He gave me life
He made me a man and gave me a wife;


He gave me the sun; He gave me the moon
And this whole earth! What a boon!


“Then why the hell” they all shouted
“Did you protest?” my sanity, they all doubted.


“He is still unjust”, I said amidst tears;
They came near me; they were all ears.


For I do not deserve the food I eat;
The house I live or the love I get


I do not have the merit to deserve my wife
Nor have I the right to live my life!


He gave me brains and made me wise;
For left to myself, I’d have been otherwise


Was I worthy of His gifts, He never did think.
He gave and gave and in shame I did shrink


There were many who were ready to serve
Yet, he chose me though I did not deserve


In this way say I must
That He is the most unjust


For if He’s only just and fair!
I could not have got even the air!


That was the reason did I say
He was unjust and had my way


He knows what to give and when
Know His love, my dear men!


We have not earned what we have!
We have only what He gave!


What grudge do I have against Him,
When He 'loves' me to the brim

A love which I never could earn
A love the depths of which I am yet to learn



To say these things in verse, I tried
But thinking of His love I only cried


God is unjust, I was sure
For He loves us without a cause
And loves us in spite of us

God is love and love, God
He was unjust, they said and I did nod.