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my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the school

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by kowsika3, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. kowsika3

    kowsika3 New IL'ite

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    Dear ladies,

    I am new to this forum. I have a strange problem. My daughter is very cheerful confident girl. One mother adores my daughter and slowly we became friends and our daughters became friends. We moved from that apt. She followed us to the new apt. Problem started there. She used to come to my place quite often and my daughter started saying that her friend was bossy and she was not having fun. She started crying and asked me to stop the play dates. So I talked to my friend told her probably some distance will make them realize their friendship. There the problem started. She started behaving differently and tried hard to make friendship with my other friends .I do not know what she is saying to others. Slowly I can see the difference in the behavior of other friends too. All our children goes to same school. I do not know how they play. Even in the school, not all some teahcers behave differently. My daughter is not encouraged for anything. I am feeling so angry.. also sad and depressed.. and do not know what to do? Please tell me what should I do? :-:)-:)-(
     
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  2. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    Kowsika
    Because this is something thats effecting your daughter and her school life you have to be very careful while dealing with it.
    Do your daughter and your friends daughter study in the same class??? And do you mean teachers also have started to behave indifferent ??
    But yes if your daughter is not comfortable in your friend's daughter's company then dont force her to remain friends with the other girl.Sometimes its better to let the kids solve such issues.It will help them in the long run too.
    Now about your friend...if that lady is bad mouthing about you behind your back then you ask your friends (who have started to behave indifferent to you recently) openly about it.
    Dont mention her name but you can ask them "whats wrong"??
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    hi ,
    i agree with Dinny.you need to know how you are badmouthed & why people are taking her words as truth & staining their relations with you.people these days are not easily influenced by gossip so you must find what is convincing the other ladies to spoil relations with you on this person's gossip.
     
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  4. kowsika3

    kowsika3 New IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    Thank you Dinnu and Rakhi. I asked them. They say nothing...She has big circle of friends.Even when I try to make new friends,even I go voluntarily they are avoiding me...:(
     
  5. rose2000

    rose2000 Silver IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    I feel your pain. I am facing the same problem in my apmt. even though we have 70% Indians in our apmt. WHen we initially moved there were only 5-6 families and there was this mom who just moved from India and her daughter didnt participate in too many activities in school like my daughter . She was not in gifted program or the school play etc. She got jealous of my daughter and spread bad rumors abt me and my daughter. Slowly everybody started going away from me and i didnt realize untill it was too late . That time the whole community was against me that i couldnt do anything. We have accepted the fact and we have decided to move to a different community. I am not sure how to fix the problem.
     
  6. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    Ohhh... that is so sad. I do feel bad for you and your daughter. Did you talk to the teachers?
     
  7. kowsika3

    kowsika3 New IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    I do not know how to open this topic..
     
  8. kowsika3

    kowsika3 New IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    Thank you Rose. For me changing the place is not an option...
     
  9. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    Do schedule an appointment with a teacher you are comfortable with, or your child likes. Then talk to the teacher about your observation that she is not encouraged as before. Share with them your concerns. I am sure the teachers here will be open about it. Afterwards, you schedule an appointment to meet all the teachers in her class, and take their opinion. Go alone or with your partner. I am sure if there is any problem in school you would get into bottom of it.

    Once school issue is resolved then you worry about the social aspect.
    Do not go behind any friends, or bend your back on it. Be the way you were before. A bossy kid and the gossiping mother will not remain favorite for long time. When people realize it, they will understand you. Till then, take your girl outside on weekdays to library or shopping (when she is free) to take her mind out from these issues. Keep her busy with you. This will help both you, and your daughter to bond better, and most importantly your daughter will know that you are always there to support her during her tough time. Also put her in any new hobby classes, like skating or violin. Anything which helps her to meet other kids outside the apartment/school circle.

    I am sure you will be okay. Changing house will be only short-term solution, and bring quick relief. Many of us will not have that option, particularly if you own a house or where it is hard to get a new rental unit. Moreover you will be meeting many annoying people you will meet in your life, so will your daughter. It is best to learn to tackle them and make your life unaffected with their petty mind-set.
    It is a learning for both you and your child, though it is hard.

    Best wishes
     
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  10. pman16

    pman16 Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: my daughter is cheerful bubbly girl 9yrs old...She is getting troubles in the sch

    It is sad to see such posts but infact I have seen such kind of women. I do not have any solution to offer to you but want you to stay strong and get rid of the negativity she is spreading around you. Not only your daughter but you are also getting affected. Stay strong and ask your daughter to be the same.
     

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