motherinlaw and sisterinlaw breaking my marriage

Very good .I like statistics. So by ur logic 99% of parents of boys are bad. Which means 99% of our parents are cruel to our SIL. Ok lets do a show of hands now...
How many of us think our parents have double standards, live to make our brothers wife miserable...comon...please I should see 99% of the hands go up!!!
I doubt I will see one. Numbers have to add up .Math cannot lie. So some one else must be.

 

This makes so much sense.

 

There are some posters who are always second guessing the other side of the story. When a DiL has described in great length what problems she is having because of her ILs, some people just jump in with there has be the other side of the story. For some reason they refuse to believe what in right in front of them but choose to believe what they know nothing about. Very annoying.

 

It's not only men, but some women posters as well who refuse to see a dil's point of view. They claim they don't have any problems with their ILs. I wonder why they post all day in in-laws issues forum.
As you asked "Is it that only a MAN can view the right and wrong??" A feminist coined a phrase 'male gaze' and observed that 'male gaze' is the only gaze that matters. Women also acquire a male gaze and see other women through that gaze. I can see that it's true.

 

Hello friends.....
I got so much of motivation form this forum.I have also mention in my earlier threads where i wanted to express the pain i am going through.

I respect my inlaws.I dont hv mil, fil, 2 sil's elder married, husband and me.

My fil is a gentleman, he is very nice and I treat him like my father, he treats me like his daughter.But this somehow is not digetable by my middly sil who stays with us(staying with us from past 13 months--d day 1 i got married since then), she doesnt go to her inlaws house , alwayz nagging about them backbthcing them in front of me and my DH.When her husband comes from other city where he works then they both go out leaving me alone in the house(am suppose to do lunch n dinner stuff then- i dont mind doing so for my family either)but whn i ask my DH to take me out on weekends as weekdays goes in offc and its a good change to freshen up mind, he says every1 is at home doesnt look good if we go out.(i find situations where me n my DH can go out alone but DH doesnt , if we go then with sil and family). I feel huisband and wife is not meant to have just s-x and spend just 8 hrs of sleep together is not quality time.BEING AT HOME WATCHING TV (ME N HUBBY ALONE CAN BE QUALITY TIME).My sil didnt get her kid admitted to school in the city where her husband is working....Dont know why? She taunts me if i make something for me or my DH.IF i made maggie for my DH she said it was for my daughter tumdono ne milkar khatam kardi ,,,,,my god her thinking .if she is stayng here then every little thing has to be shared.When her husbsnd comes she makes good food for him whn me n my dh out for work, and doesnt share with us.Now her hsuabdn is gettng tranfered here , but she is not ready to move out with her husabnd in different house.Moring i cant prepare my breakfast properly coz she is holding kitchen dat time making food for her doter.After i come back form offc make dinner emply stomach, she does her dinner by 8 and I wait for my fil to come till 10 to have dinner together with him.

MY DH IS SO MUCH INFLUENCED BY SIL OR DONT KNW WHO , HE HAS DIFFERENT THINKING AS MINE.
HE IS BIT NARROW MINDED WHAT I FEEL BUT I M OK COZ HE SHOWS HIS LOVE N CARE FOR ME IN SOME WAYS.BUT HE DOESNT LIKE GOING TO MY PARENTS HOUSE , HE HAS PROB IF I TOK TO MY SIS ON FONE, IF I TRY TO EXPLAIN HIM ANYTHNG HE SAYS "TU ARGUE BAHUT KARTI HAI, THEEK KARKE RAKHDUNGA"......I AM GETTING MENTALLY WEAK SUFFERED FRM LOW BP HAEMOGLOBIN DONT KNW FRM WHERE,, MY DH SUPPORTED ME DAT TIME AS I WAS ILL, BUT CANT TOLERATE HIS TEMPER ANGER AND LOUD VOICE ALWYS.

 

Monita may be you should enlighten the posters here about some IL etiquette....
Only people who have someting nasty to say about their PIL should post in the rel with inlaws forum. I couldnt find it last time I checked.

Just because some of us dont join the bandwagon of bashing up PIL at the drop of a hat doesn't mean we dont
realize it takes all kinds to make up the world! The annoyance comes not at fbs targeted for specific cases but at sweeping generalizations that run amuck each time there is a thread about PIL.

 

If the dils post their problems in the forum or bash the PILs as you call it, there is a reason for it. We all know that not all PILs are bad. we all know that great PILs do exist. I know many Pils who are amazing and who treat their dils like the princess of the house. When we make a general statement about Pils, it is understood that it is about the bad pils and does not include the nice ones. You cannot expect every post to come with a disclaimer.
If you still think it is your prime duty to remind us in every thread that not all PILs are bad and not all dils are good, it's really your own choice. I wonder how telling a dil who is having problems with her iLs that all pils are not bad going to help her.

 

Yes I am ready to agree even if my parents do mistakes with their DIL's.. Why should i be afraid of agreeing it? Math doesn't lie always as you say... I am sure ladies here in IL will agree even if their parents make their brother's wives life miserable...

 

I think someone should just go ahead and change the title of this section as 'in-laws bashing'. From what I can see, that's the only thing that happens here unbashedly. It amazes me how most of these women who go on ranting about their 'dirty' pils find their husbands cut from diamond. (can they do a paternity test and confirm their h in indeed an offspring of the dirty pils? How can such spotless diamond emerge from dirt like that?)The statement about 99% dils being victimized really amazes me to the core. It's funny how some people like to imagine they are victimized all the time, it perhaps gives them a psychological kick. It's more funny when they assume the whole world operates the way they think. In my opinion, people making such statements seriously need to grow up.

My theory is, if you (any dil)love and respect your h, then you have to respect his parents too. Am not saying you need to kneel down or prostrate before them. But give them the basic respect. Sadly, these days dils dont undestand the meaning of the term 'respect'. Oh, now pls don't tell me your h was like them too but after marriage to your 'soulful' self, he changed. If you want to believe that your h is safe in your pocket, and in-laws are something you'd not like to do anything with, then there isn't a big hypocrite than you. Also, respecting elders (in-laws or anyone for that matter) is an attribute imbibed during one's upbringing. One cannot acquire it overnight. On the other hand, if someone has only hard feelings for everyone starting from h to in-laws, then she's at a totally wrong place. Just quit and move on instead of creating a drama all over the place.

 

I totally agree with JAG and bukbuk..