I didn't expect i will face this type of guiltiness in my life. its not about financial things. i married 9 yr ago, and came to city which requires overnight journey from my parents. luckily i have 4 hr flight journey to my parents place. now i have 5 yr old 6 months baby. with recent long staying along with my parents after delivery i came to know that they are not energetic like previously in both way MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY. they are not telling outside but they need support. me and my younger bother are responsible for their care. but still my brother is in job search in another city and not yet settled, he is unable to take care them closely. as a daughter i want to care them which will give tons of satisfaction. Specially in case of my mother, she is mentally expecting my company. even though i am communicating daily via phones and video calls, i am feeling very guilt that i couldn't help her physically when she feels low at her work in home. i tried to hire bunch of maids for all of her works when i am there. still she hates to manage them. she needs some one like me who can closely monitor her needs mentally and physically. but who else can fill daughters position? still my parents are in government service, and still there is 7 yr there to retire for my mother.so they cant move to either my city or my brothers city.So i decided to take journeys in between my home(in-laws staying with us) very often like every month or 40 days. but my elder kid is school going. i dont want to care my husband/in-laws feelings or their problems about my decision. but i am caring about my UKG kid who is eczma and mild asthama patient. he needs extra care comparatively to normal kids. i am feeling guilt inside about leaving him with my husband and inlaws. as a mother i should take care of his smooth feelings as well. ofcourse my husband is taking care him, but with orders but not with lovely, bubbly smile. my husband dont have sensitivity in handling kids. coming to in-laws, they will take care kid like a duty servant but not as grand parents. they too dont have skill to handle toddler like by telling stories or playing activities. i left my kid along with in-laws for a month while i stayed with baby at my parents place, i observed my all-time sick MIL became active(no-option for her) and started doing cooking for my kid. but observed lot of pitfalls in her management. for example my kid likes Dosa, so my MIL is feeding dosa every day even for continuously for a week. she dont care how his diet should be balanced with veggies. reduced lunch box quantity to half daily to save wastage which my kid may left some times, and providing boring snakcs daily like apple or biscuit only. my kid is picky eater. i guided her lot. still she is on her way. i knew she cant be like me. so its really hurting me now my kid is missing me as well as i am missing my kid when i am not with him at same time my mother also missing her kid thats me. i am getting my mothers pain now because i knew that pain as a mother. i am banging my head now how to solve this guilt in me? i want to take care my parents physically but i have to take care my kids also. i chosen freelancing to balance family life. but until my 2nd kid turns to 1 yr, i mean as a self entertainer i want to take care of her fully, so until that time i will not get time to start my career again. so right now i am spending my savings which i earned while i worked.