Mother And Mother-in-law

Very nice analysis of the plight of MIL, I feel all married women should read such articles to understand the perspective of the other side.
This will help to develop empathy and compassion.
The way our economy changes, globalisation etc, affects the family structures and relationships in profound ways. You have described it well as to the new challenges MIL s face. (It's no less for the DILs too ofcourse)
I feel all sides should try to see things from the perspective of the other side, then our families will become a source of strength than stress.

 

It is actually the most difficult thing to do specially when ego is there. Even if heart agree to forgive ego says why should I. Let go this feeling is possible only for sometime. But after certain incidents it get triggered again and let go the peace. To live a happy and fulfilled life it is most important to have a strong relationship that you mentioned you have with your mil. But not all can do this and hence deteriorate their humanity and way of living.

 

Thank you madam sister. This is wonderful suggestion and future Watson of IBM too should consider incorporate the capability to match horoscopes thus: DIL vs MIL/FIL & All SIL/BIL.
When a mother was not present at the time of பெண் பார்க்கும் படலம் - boy with entourage come for looking at girl at latter’s hovel - boy insisted for seeing mother too before conveying his decision about approval disapproval!
All were wondering and one boldly sought reason,
Whence the boy answered thus:
seeing girl’s mom would give him a fair idea about - in later years - how good the girl’s “looks” would be?!!!!especially in her forty’s. (I am unable to recollect thread title in which female OP listed things to be attained and or achieved before turning to forty. Grateful if someone could supply correct title name)
Regards
God Bless Us All Always.

 

For any relationship to blossom and thrive , good understanding , trust and lot of give and take is absolutely necessary . If there is Ego , even mother-daughter relationship can be ruined.

MILs have had a lot of bad image always . Perhaps it was like that those days . It is my observation that modern day MILs are a lot more better , more friendlier with DILs . At least in S.India .

 

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

Nowadays, both men and women are well-educated, very well employed and mostly lead a secular life together away from both set of parents. Earlier, the mothers were looking at brides that are not more educated than their own son or not better employed than the sons. There was a belief that if the man of the house was a major breadwinner, he would be the decision-maker. Those days are gone.

In those days, when well-educated DILs did much more than domestic work such as earning and taking care of a sick husband, the MILs respected the DILs well. Now, everyone lives on their own in a secular setting meeting once in a while. Most planning is with reference to how to handle those interactive days than day to day living. The arrangements mostly are "I will visit your parents for a week and spend two weeks with my parents" by the DIL when the husband spends all three weeks with the parents with an exception of a day or two visit to inlaw's residence. The perfect balance is when both husband and wife spend the same amount of time with both parents together letting their children interact with both set of grandparents for the same amount of time.

In the present day scenario, ideally both parents-in-law should be self-reliant to manage their own life until they reach poor health. The adult children will visit them as often as possibly can and whenever possible if they live overseas. The adult children don't volunteer anything as they are busy raising their children and the parents need to specify what is expected out of the adult children. That is the best way to be peaceful at all ends.

No one certifies DIL as the best nor the MIL. Everyone takes care of themselves and interact with each other, as needed.

Viswa

 

Yes indeed so.
Thanks.
Regards.
God Bless Us All Always.