Money:should Allow To Give Or Not ??

We all get well meaning advice..but sooo difficult to implement it..
Training spouse in appropriate behaviour is not that easy...
This is not a job or course to give "training"..
If that were so easy half the marital issues wouldn't have occurred..;-)
FYI.i have tried so many "strategies" but have not been completely successful.

 

Op, Your anger is justified. But at the same time, you also need to understand the fact that, your kid is the apple of your sister's eyes and not your SIL's. I have a similar situation. My SIL has gifted absolutely nothing to my kid. On the other hand my sister has given anything you can think of.Your husband telling you that gifts are spoiling kids is jealousy and sadness to the fact that his sister's don't do it. At the same time,its your sister's love for your kid in gifts. Do not let your husband let you stop that. Your sister will feel bad and all for what. Indulging hubby? Not worth it.

At the same time, 5k+5k for your SIL's is not justified. Even if yrly , 10k is a large amount. Especially who think they are entitled. I gather it was sudden increase in amount . Why so? I think it was more along lines of demand.Today its 5k tomorrow it will be more. Your husband needs to put his foot down sooner rather than later. Good Luck.

 

Op...giving gifts is not about "I will give u a gift of 10 rs if u give me back atleast 8 the next time its ur turn" that u have made it out to be.
U gift based on what u can afford not based on what u think the value of the return gift would/should be. What is missing in ur post is the financial standing of ur sisters in law vs ur sister.
One might afford to give a gold bangle..one might not. U cannot judge people that way.
Allow ur spouse some basic freedom...it would stifle me if DH were to track every little thing ....and have an opinion about what I choose to buy for my sibling.
Come up with a financial plan ..what u both make.. what u spend ... how much u should save ....and a little "my money" for both of u........what each of u do with that is ur business. If he wants to give something to his siblings ...let him.

 

R they financially weak.... ?.. n most important thing is
Never expect anything from som1. As u hav already said tht ur Dh feels sad on wat they gives wen compared to somthng from ur family members, i suggest never talk or make comparison t.. it may create som ego .. so better avoid in conversations Regarding ths matter.
I suggest to have a small talk on spending for gold... Thts too awkward.. how come ur sil's know at buying somthng 4 u. And about gifting money suggest to keep a limit ...

 

You are funny - I like your app Idea Let me know if you need a partner

 

OP ,

I agree with others - donot compare with your sister. Do not expect from others.
If it is not a huge burden on you - let him give. If it is - gently suggest that you have other needs and consider a lesser amount.
Either way , a limit has to be set - be tactful. Think about what you are going to say before you bring it up. Make sure NOT to bring up their gifting or your sister's. Stick to talking about your household budget only.

Gold - yes that can be very annoying. But pick one battle at a time.

The idea of both having your personal allowance seems like a great one!

 

Rihana, It all depends on financial situation too. For some people even that might be a huge amount. Also OP, initial post mentioned hubby gave 5k each this time. Either its on demand or hubby is feeling particularly brotherly all of a sudden. Either way not a good sign as it gives a doorway to more greed on the receiving end. Obviously next yr will be you increased to 5k last yr why no increase this yr.Ask hubby why he went up in gifts. If he goes on and on without proper reply it means he was told to give. If he says he decided, that means he wanted to give 5k.Tell him that he needs to a father too along with the brother and look into your kid's future.Good Luck.

Early on in my marriage even 100 $ was a big amount. My husband had raked up a huge debt during our wedding thanks to in laws splurging on everybody on hubby's dime. It took us years to pay off that debt . Paying off that debt, we didn't splurge even 10$ forget 100. Some people if not everybody think oh my 100$.

 

Reason for the change- Could it be that your husband felt bad that your sister sends a gift worth 100$ for your kid, so as a brother he thinks he needs to give more to his sister?

 

OP, I think your sils financial situation is comparatively bad than your sister. Before commenting on the price of the gift you also need to check the financial status of the people. Nobody would prefer to have a debt to give a gift. Regarding the increase from 500 to 5000 I feel your husband sisters have a crisis. Or is it that you also got a good amount from your brother's. So he might be giving to keep up his status in front of your people.