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Money Matters, how to deal with spendthrift show off in laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by beingme, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. beingme

    beingme New IL'ite

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    Hello all lovely ladies,

    This is my first post on a social forum ever. I am reaching my limits of frustration I am writing this hoping i will get good advice here.

    Abt me: I am a working woman, married for 3 years, no kids yet. I am good with money. I want to save good portion of the income and only spent what is left after saving. Not a big fan of credit cards and impulsive buying.

    My problem is my in laws who have opposite spending habits. They will do anything for show off. E.g..

    They donated 1 lakh to a temple by borrowing money from somebody, me nd my husband, who is their only child have to pay for it. They want their name to be displayed in the temple saying, so and so donated so much.

    They will make sure they attend all weddings for which they are invited, believe me my mil would have atleast attended 500 weddings per year with expensive gift for very very distant relatives. She is a social person and she spends a lot in grooming herself and getting expensive jewelry. Ofcourse, it is her personal thing, let her do it with her money. Why borrow it and do it. Everytime we push hard and close a dept, she comes up with more. My Dh supports this attitude saying he is their only son

    She is a big time shopaholic, she has like 100 pairs of foot wear and some 100s of watches and 100s of sarees and she is always complaining that she does nt have anything.

    She wants me to accompany her for shopping which I don't encourage. So she just hates me.

    she wears like 2 or 3 gold bangles and wears like 10 cold coated covering bangles and lies to people that everything is gold. She once asked me to wear my Swarovski crystal chain and told people will think it is diamond, so wear it. She always makes me over dressed with expensive silk Sarees and tell that, only then we will look 'like' high class. How cheap!!!!

    My husband is a decent man, he appreciates my way of handling money, but supports his mom, he criticizes every other spendthrift person on this world but his mom.

    My fil will support his wifes behaviour. She is the boss at home.

    Now my husband wants me to give money to them every month from my salary. I know money given to them is money down the drain. If I even start saying anything my husband becomes so violent. He has to pay for home loan, so he can't give them money.

    My fil gets good pension and income from agriculture. Besides that he has a free time profession and he makes so money in that too. Still they will not pay any debt. I myself have to repay the money they borrowed for our lavish wedding, few lakhs.

    How crazy. What to do. I am so confused. I take a step and they drag me down by four steps. So sad.:drowning
     
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  2. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

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    What happens if you don't pay the loan. Loan is in their name right. Who will question you and your h.
    Just like your h invest your money in house payment. Buy a rental property and pay its mortgage.
     
  3. anmolhai

    anmolhai Platinum IL'ite

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    Oh man some people :rant you have my full sympathy. I don't know what you can do???:bonk may be invest in property and then start paying installments or pretend you are also out shopping & don't have money to give?? open another account and put away that so called spend money in that a/c.

    All the best!!
     
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  4. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    What about your parents?
    Tell him that you are okay to set aside a portion of your salary for both sets of parents.

    If you give money you ought to be able to give your opinion on their spending, whether they follow it or not.

    And what do you mean, you husband gets violent? Are you going through physical abuse??
     
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