Mom Ignores Me!!

Op...you need to keep negative thoughts out of your mind instead of remembering things from when you were three years old. You are looking for neglect where there was none.

You had three years sleeping next to your mom and your new born sister needed to sleep next to your mom . It was her turn.

Your mom made you sleep with your loving dad who you like very much ...not in some cold room all alone.

Your mom was fair to you and she was fair to your new born sister.
Why are you making your life miserable looking for negativity....specially when you need all the positivity you can muster.

Same for your mother thinking about her grandkids over an adult daughter with a husband to care for.
May be the grand kids need her more. You have a loving husband in the house who is helping you out.Isn't this better. Husband and wife together trying to make it work,taking care of each other.
. Please get a maid to help you out if husband is over worked.

Op....hopefully soon you will be blessed and then your mom will come to help you and the baby just like she is helping your sister with her kids.
Think of positive things in life...think of the good times you have had with your parents and sister.

Best wishes to you and your husband.
Take care and be positive.

 

@memeera1234 All the best for your treatment. All for the best for your experience with your mom. I have almost same sort of things with my mom and younger sis. Now I'm pregnant, 5th month running. During my 2nd month, I was experiencing a lot of nausea and tiredness. So my mom came to my place to take care of me. Ever since she arrived, she was crying over the phone for my sister, since she got her new job in a metro and she was not getting good delicious food as my mom cooks. FYI - I'm also working in other metro. She uses her whole income to get good food for her, whereas still my mother keep on crying for her. My DH got pissed off one day and he wanted her to get to my sister's place rather sitting here and crying all times. It was too stressful, to be in such scenario. She was in my place for 1 month and left by the end of second month. By the time somewhat I got over my nausea feeling (thanks to the God and my baby too ) Before that my DH never helped me in any household chores. But then he started to take care of me like anything, like he will do all the things he can, that too without my request. Almost I came out of stress, but you know what happened. Due to this, I got high resistance in my artery which supplies blood to the baby, which may cause hindrance in growth. I was suggested to take a tab for this daily with no stop until I reaches 34 weeks. Worse situation.

Now all ok, my baby is normal at its 5th month scan. I too had a kind of complaint on my mother, still when I forgive my MIL for her tantrums, why can't I forgive my mom for this, that too she cries for the well being of my own sis right. So I left it as such.

so don't think that anyone can help you greatly other than your DH. As your mom told, it is your (both you & DH) responsibility to take of you. You can appoint some maid for you to help you in cooking and other works. This is the time where the bond between you and your DH will gets enriched with the blooming love and care. I'm telling this out of my own experience, so feel free, be stress free, enjoy good music and good food. Once again 'All the best' for you, take care!

 

Your mom is attached to her grandkids, this is very normal. So you should not feel bad / insecure about it. I am sure when your kids will be here , she will be doting on them as well.

 

Sometimes grandparents gets way too attached with grandchildren and that will be their utmost priority.

Look on your positive side, your husband is taking care of you very well and you are lucky to have him by your side. You are about to become a mom and think of all the beautiful experiences you are about to acquire.

Its rather easy to say not to feel hurtful for what your mom did and move on but it's hard to do. Think of your unborn baby and only you can provide good health for him/her and make it happen for them. You have waited so long for this and it's about to happen so rather concentrating on the problems look at the big picture and try to calm your self.

Stickiest baby dust to you

 

You are not alone. I can't say I relate to the any Marriage/Childbearing related struggles . But Believe me even as an only child I cry all the time because my mom is not part of my life at all despite of living under the same roof. I want to move out so badly, have my own space where at least I won't feel hurt to be seeing her everyday but financially it's an additional struggle. But for you I am so glad you have a supportive husband. I can't say that will ever make up for the loss and the pain you feel but at least you have some kind of love and support in your life.

 

[QUOTE="Rihana.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. All these struggles make you stronger, and teach you that finally one often has only one's spouse to rely on.[/QUOTE]
Like what you wrote -
more realistically one has only oneself to rely on .

 

OP, I can very well understand and relate to this post of yours.

Infertility is a curse, the wait, the needle pokes and frequent appointments, having to go through so much pain and stress to concieve a child while others have it so easily really makes the whole process even more stressful. Focus on what is important to you. Leave the other stuff, it only adds to your stress. I am surprised that your mom prefers to stay with your sister's kids than by your side knowing very well that you are going to have a transfer done. Having someone over while going through these treatments definitely helps. Unfortunately, not every one understands the struggle even though they say they do.

I haven't told anyone in my family that I have started ART, so I could not request anyone to come over to be with me for a few days. Failed IuI's and an IVf retrieval cycle, made me strong. I wish I had my mom here, because it was very difficult for me to manage home, and work while vsiiting the hospitals every other day for monitoring. I would end up eating crap, or not eat at all on somedays because I would be too tired to cook and I would have a headache or nausea sometimes because of the medication!

But I would say, for now, focus on the treatments and being stress free. Good luck!

 

I understand yr situation since I also faced the same issues. Inspite of partialloty since childhood we will get the support but it doesn't work out like that. This remains life long. How much ever we try to shower love on them this partiality doesn't go.cant help it. After few years of fertility issues, not only inlaws but moms also lose their patience. So finally we have to fight this journey by ourselves. Believe me these things make us very very strong. I understand you need moral support during this time but inviting someone who's not really interested in coming will not help you. She ll be ready to help u when u get pregnant. That's what I observed in my case. So don't get stressed with the partial behaviour of yr mom. Just focus on yr goal, make yourself strong to move towards that. Pls be happy and stress-free during this time.