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MIL's story.......I am MIL.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Jayanthi2010, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Aunty,

    I just glanced over your thread. I really admire your attitude. Lots to learn from you. In fact after reading your thread I re-examined my relationship with my MIL.

    Kavya.
     
  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    So he had enough sense to pass college, had enough sense to land and keep a job, yet didn't have enough sense to realize that what he was doing was bizarre, hurtful and inappropriate??? I would have told him "You are a jerk. %^&* you and %^&* your sister." :rant

    But Swaram, I just wanted to say the biggest gift... came from yourself. You earned a professional designation (CPA) that nobody could get for you, but YOU. Be proud of all that you have accomplished, and feel proud knowing that although you can't make people celebrate your success, nobody can take it away from you either. I really admire you for passing that exam. You're like, my idol! :bowdown
     
  3. ganges

    ganges Gold IL'ite

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    dear jayanthi

    I am really sorry for your experiences. Dont take it into your heart. After all they are your children. I am also having two sons and first one from IIT and IIM and got love cum arranged marriage. The second son had arranged marriage. I dont have any daughters. We had a big joint family and spent whatever we can to make them settle in their life and gave good education to our kids too. After finishing all this when we looked back we understood that we left nothing huge except a house and some bank balance. Eventhough our children are very much willing to help us, we are very sure to be independent. Ofcourse we were with them for the deliveries and to upbring the children until they are put into the crech. They are also coming whenever they have free time plus whenever we need them. The generation is different so we have to accept and live.

    ganges.
     
  4. Amma15

    Amma15 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Jayanthi,

    This is a really nice thread. I am not a MIL yet. But yes, the thought scares me.
    I have always longed for daughters ( I have 2 sons ) and dream and keep telling everyone that I will acquire two ready made daughters.

    Cheer up. From your post I can see you have done everything in your power to keep your DIL happy. If she chooses not to be its not your problem. Also I think she sees your goodness and maybe she feels the grandchildren may get too fond of you and perhaps thats why she does not like them to spend time with you. She IS insecure about their affection/ love for her and that makes her hurt you.

    Take care,
    Love,
    Usha15
     
  5. feduptocore

    feduptocore Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Jayanthi mam...
    I think you've got your answer here.... and wonderful ones...
    With my few years of experience of living with in-laws I've concluded its very difficult to say who is right and wrong.. its the circumstances which make us puppets and fate pulls strings and we just dance to the show .... just like every man is not meant to be the love of our lives the same way every human we come in touch with needn't have the best of the relations with us... sometimes 2 stones when rubbed may not create fire!!!
    My MIL is great socialite has 1000s of so- called friends and is a great hit in the parties. I too am loved and considered one of the best human beings by all I meet... BUT both of us can't see eye to eye with each other!!!!:hide:... I used to wonder why till I discovered that there is a side of her which only I and my FIL (may his soul rest in peace) experienced and not even her son saw that side of her... so to the outside world and to her I was the misfit...
    I now no longer try to salvage my relationship with her....
    Coming to you... well I think you've also tried your best..You and your Dh have been wise to be independent financially and live seperately.. you rely on your kids only for emotional support.. thats very good...Now please accept that this is what its going to be like with your elder DIL.. don't worry your self about these matters and live the rest of your life in peace ...
    K
    P.S. My mom has the same strategy as you where DIL is concerned... once when SIL was there at moms and I went to see them everything that was cooked was to SIL taste.. none of my fav so when i passed a remark my mom said... you i pampered as a child but her quota has just begun!!!.. MY SIL Dotes on my mom... touchwood!!!
     
  6. 123NICE

    123NICE Junior IL'ite

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    Hello Jeyanthi Maam,

    After reading this forum, I just want to cry on your lap. Can you be my friend.
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2010

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