MIL's relative visting...bah!

tulipzz · Sep 9, 2013

MILs distant relative is coming to study near us. We both take the subway/train to work.

This girl is coming to do her masters here. She is Mil's brother's wife's cousin's daughter. My husband never met her/her family before.

They want us to pick her up from airport on a working day, take her home (taxi $100), keep her at home for 2 days (tht means we leave the house to her while we go to work) and the drop her at her univ hostel (anther $100 taxi). She s coming with loads of luggage, our cars won't fit them all in.

I'm very annoyed because its mils relative and we spend lots of money for taxis etc on ppl we don't even know. The lady treats me like crap and kicks me out of the house and then I host her distant relatives? ? On top of it - having a bored relative of mil in my house when I'm at work - freaks me out.

That girls father has been calling my husband all the time as if she is going to mars! And my husband is acting like a mad monkey. I can't believe he is taking a day off to drop her at univ!!! He doesn't even know her or her parents!!

I'm super irritated. I just want to go stay in some hotel on pretext of office trip and let him handle his moms relatives.

Just a vent. Happy to correct myself if I'm wrong,

Please don't ask me to be a saint, I'm fed up being good, I kind of want to be a bitch.

anmolhai · Sep 9, 2013

I can see why you would be irritated. Not having good relationship with mil and doing all this is a bit much. Don't let it bother you too much-- as you are hurting yourself only . SO good you vented , now take a deep breath & let it go. DO something fun for yourself.

veeramachaneni · Sep 9, 2013

aww same thing happened to me Tulipz. but this is from my side of relatives. we were living in CT and this guy is coming to NY and landing on a weekday. They wanted me to pick him up and after getting him a phone on my SSN wanted him to drop at the University.

I told them that No I cannot drive 4 hrs on a weekday and he needs to make some other arrangements (I am preggo and in 5th month at that time )

he came to our home stayed for 10 days and we dropped him at the hostel on a weekend.

I told him he can get prepaid phones and thats what all the students here get when they 1st come on student Visa. He only wanted an IPhone and we ended up adding him to our plan ?(to a Very very distant relative)

It sucks. But you have to learn to say No I guess.

tulipzz · Sep 9, 2013

veeramachaneni said: ↑

aww same thing happened to me Tulipz. but this is from my side of relatives. we were living in CT and this guy is coming to NY and landing on a weekday. They wanted me to pick him up and after getting him a phone on my SSN wanted him to drop at the University.

I told them that No I cannot drive 4 hrs on a weekday and he needs to make some other arrangements (I am preggo and in 5th month at that time )

he came to our home stayed for 10 days and we dropped him at the hostel on a weekend.

I told him he can get prepaid phones and thats what all the students here get when they 1st come on student Visa. He only wanted an IPhone and we ended up adding him to our plan ?(to a Very very distant relative)

It sucks. But you have to learn to say No I guess.
Click to expand...

Add to your plan = pay his bill monthly????

Shinylady · Sep 9, 2013

I know we don't feel like anything to IL's side since they would have hurt us a lot when we are naive and new to the family. Leave it to your DH to do the taking care of the relative stuff and continue with your routine.

silvertulip · Sep 9, 2013

Yes, it's bugging but what options u have? Can u dump her in hostel from airport in the same taxi? If so, then please do that so that u can have ur space at ur home.

As far as spending is concerned, u need to sort with ur DH. As long as u are not paying the bills all the time, it should be ok to spend in sending her to hostel at one go.

tulipzz · Sep 9, 2013

That girl coming to stay is one thing, she being in my house, all alone, when I am at work is even more irritating!

tulipzz · Sep 9, 2013

I'd rather give that $200 in charity than spend it on MILs relatives

Shall I go and stay in a hotel and leave my husband to handle her. I don't know how it's going to help my irritation, but atleast I'll be away from it all?

Rihana · Sep 9, 2013

Just forget about the money spent on settling her in. Go to work very early and return late on all days. If weekend, get out of the house alone. Let husband do all the entertaining, shopping. Let him be the one to take her to women's section of department stores and wait while she figures out what to buy. Don't go out of your way to cook and set up a room/bed for her and showing her how things work. Take it easy. Play it cool.

Leaving the house to her while you are at work - yes, that can be very irritating. Lock away whatever you can in suitcases.

Do calculate and present to husband the total bill of the event later. Casually.