MIL's opinion : First delivery expenses should be done by girl's parents

Varshap21 · Dec 24, 2012

Hi all,

Wish you all a merry christmas .. n in advance Happy New Year ..

Want to discuss dilemma going on in my mind .. I am currently 7 months pregnant .. Yesterday while discussion about my baby shower function and all, my MIL created a new rule as first delivery expenses should be done by my parents . but I don't think so because baby which is arriving in our life is mine and my DH's responsibly .. If both of us are doing good in our carrier and are earning better then why should we be dependent on anyone else ?

I am very unhappy to hear this from my MIL. I haven't discussed it with my DH yet. Want to convey him the same in proper word.

Again I am not going to my mother's place for delivery since good hospitals with better facilities are not available there. I have not thought that girls though they are highly educated now a days will have to face such situation. What is your opinion ?

mercyagin · Dec 24, 2012

If you have saved money for yourself, then why are you getting tensed. Give the money to your parents and tell them to give it to your MIL during delivery time. She wont come to know about it.
According to customs its true that girls parents have to pay the first delivery expense. But you use your brain and reduce your parents financial burden.

anjananathan · Dec 24, 2012

what you are thinking is not wrong.. though girls are highly educated and earns well, these old customs are still there.. these customs might change over time but not anytime soon..

if you are working, then u might have insurance coverage for delivery expenses.. you dont need to really worry .. even otherwise, u can help them if you have money...

why spoil ur pregnancy with all this bad feeling.. relax and enjoy..

thegirlygirl · Dec 24, 2012

talk to your dh about this, if he is a responsible man, he will not at all want to do this.

it is quiet embarassing to have your wife's delivery expenses paid by her family.

then dh himself will tell his mom he is against this, and matter will be over.

you don't need to talk to mil directly about this

aparnag · Dec 24, 2012

Congrats on your pregnancy..
see, my case i had delivery at my own home.. i neither went to parents place or inlaws place since i had a medical complication which forced me to stay back with the same doctor...

Still my parents bared the expenses.... it is also the previlage of parents.. Parents feel happy to spend for their daughter's delivery.. Also a prestige issue.. Try talking to your parents and you will come to know it..
Any case if you are earning well you can always bear it..

Onesweetlife · Dec 24, 2012

Shed your worries dear!

Let your MIL create any rule, i guess she wont employ any detectives on who is going to spend on ur delivery.

So just say your H that you can look after the expenditures on that. I suppose you may be having medical cover by your employer . If so, it will be more easier to convince .

If its like a reimbursement option and even if ur parents are spending, submit the bills and get money and give it back to them. Even if they dont accept, this amount could be used to buy something for your LO.

In my case, i delievered at my employer's empanelled hospital and my dad paid for other expenses like diet and food for visitors, etc.

Enjoy the preggo phase ...

Cheers,
Sweetlife

Varshap21 · Dec 24, 2012

thanks for your replies . that is true .. I have saved money with me and I have also thought the same that I will spend it . Just got thoughts in mind that how these customs are developed . Girls leaves there parents there home and come to live with strange people after marriage. Do everything to make them happy in all ways and improve relations. After having baby is also, they have more time with them as compared to our parents and still every time our parents have to bear expenses.. lets see what my DH has in mind.. I am going to convey my thoughts to him.

Money is not important. They will spend it for their daughter but these type of customs are really bad..

jewel4u86 · Dec 25, 2012

Dear Varsha,

it is the custom that women on their first delivery go to their parents house so that they can get proper rest before and after delivery as well as their kid is also well nourished. It is just bcoz women's are mostly attached to their moms and their mom can guide them what to do and what not to. it is not a rule but a custom. if u think that better facilities cannot be provided to u and ur child in ur parents city then u should discuss it with ur hubby. u should make him understand that it is better to take precautions and get admit in a good hospital and get better care for urself and child in ur city instead of going to ur maternal house city where such facilities are not provided by the doctors. u should not raise the money issue as far as u can bcoz it will create a distance between ur husband. its better u make ur hubby understand that for the better care of ur child it is necessary for u to stay here. if ur parents are able to bear ur delivery expenses then let them know that they will bear the delivery expense for the baby.

let me knw if u find it useful.

regards,
jewel

priyakanth · Dec 25, 2012

Dear Varsha,

Discuss with your DH and just give your parents the required amount without asking them anything. If the same been given by your DH it will be really worth. And also let your DH insist on saying that it is his baby and love to spend for the delivery.

priya.kanth

rkk1 · Dec 25, 2012

I fully agree with you, Varshap. If you are adult enough to make a baby with a man, then you are also mature enough to provide yourself for that baby as well. You are not a perpetual child to have to keep depending on your parents, even for them to have to pay for your child. I very much respect your thoughts, and I think you are doing the right thing to take the responsibility. Best wishes to you on your pregnancy!