Mil Problems Help Please . More Suggestions How Handle

I'm sorry that you are in this position. First, stop trying to live your life making them happy. They will not be no matter what you do. What is the situation are you in now? Where do you live? How long have you been married? Kids? Do you work?

 

Sorry to here about your situation, firstly are you in a good position with your husband in terms of discussing things that bother you. Does he lend a thoughtful ear? And number of years into your wedding also matter! Do you have kids?. Was yours an arranged marriage? Unfortunately there still a few people in today's era of forwardness a bit backward, so instead feeling bad try to understand why she does things; this would help you. If you have sister in laws, co sisters etc also matters. And most important of all you need to give a deaf ear to things that are irrelevant to you. You can either confront the issue by getting of with a tussle or try to just ignore them. Keep your mind occupied with things that you enjoy. Most importantly you need to be in good equation with you better half, because at the end of the day only that matters. Girl honestly spoiling your health and trying to make people happy out of your way is really not worth a droplet if it is not reciprocated. And prayer definitely helps. There are various slokas that are available online for good home atmosphere. Sri Hanuman slokas helps in clearling any health problems. Sankatanaasha ganesha stotram helps keep a good environment at home.

Take care

 

Please don't be heart broken, you have a son and a caring husband that's all matters sangeeta!. I know I am going to sound all philosophical, but believe me there are only a few reasons why in laws especially MIL get all on the wrong side.

• She might just be too possessive of her son and after the wedding like usual adults, her son would have to focus a bit of that attention to his wife. So small things could lead to bigger issues.
• She would have had a rough past with her MIL or her husband could have been an disappointment, witnessing the vivid relationship her son shares with his wife would trigger a zillion emotions which eventually going to come down on the weakest link. Unfortunately we are always the one from some other family and never consider as their family.
• She has a few relatives who tend to influence her in her decision making And try to manipulate her into being who she is towards her DIL.

In any of these situations you as such can't calm her behavior down, she should either realize it on her own or you need to try sit down and talk to her along with your husband. The only immediate way out is physically move out and stay separately in another house if possible. You don't have to be in a different place but just move out probably even next door. So that they are on their own and have as little as interactions as possible. Considering it's eight years of marriage, I am sure ur husband would be a great support.

Kindly do not spoil your health, you have a son who would look at you everyday and be glad that your there for him. You stay healthy and prove to be the mother you are than the mother his dad has.

Cheer up gal!! There so many things in life that would bring happiness. Two human being can't change your world.

 

Do you live together or are they just visiting? The best thing for your own peace of mind is first to learn to ignore them and not give weight to what they say. Easier said than done, but start practicing there. If they don't like how you fast or worship, know that you are doing what is right for you and what you believe it. Just think of it like if they said you are wrong to drink water from a cup instead of a glass - what does it matter and they are no more right than you are. The best revenge is to live a good life - do what makes you happy, and if they are being rude or unreasonable, sometimes the easiest thing is to just walk away. Maybe they will think you are rude, but it's just to protect your own peace of mind.

 

Hmm. I wonder what the point is of being educated and having had a good life when they can't treat another individual as an equal. Clearly they are just bullies.

I suggest that you read up about how to handle bullies. It is brilliant that your husband stands up for you. That is a good sign and make sure that you protect your relationship with him and any cost .

Now, you need to get some perspective. Remember the following.

1. They aren't going to be happy with you even if you bring them the moon and the stars on a plate. It's not your fault. It is their problem. Don't make it yours.

2. They need an audience for their dramas. Don't be one. Leave the place immediately. Go to another room or go for a walk.

3. Don't explain yourself to them and open yourself up to more criticism.

4. Have stock phrases to use when they are unreasonable - like "I'll handle it my way." or "I prefer doing it differently" for inane suggestions; "I don't want to argue." or "you need to calm down first." or "you are being unreasonable." or even "you need too think of what yo are talking especially in front of the child." All of this said politely but firmly. Ignore them when you've said it and move away. Don't react or show them how worried you are.

5. It is important for your to be strong and take care of yourself. Do what suits you in the way it suits you. The rest will fall in place as long as you refrain from explaining yourself and bowing down to them.

6. They do nt deserve any extra respect just because they are your ILs. Reward good behaviour with niceness and ignore them when they behave badly instead of trying to please them more.

Get some counselling to heal yourself too if you can. It will help immensely

 

It's a long visit - is there any way you can go somewhere for a visit for your own time off? Go out for a weekend and stay with some friends for some peace of mind? If you go away and they stop talking to you, okay fine, you don't want to talk to them either. They have to learn that it's only acceptable for everyone to treat each other with respect, otherwise there is no point in talking.

You don't need to feel guilty if they are saying that you guys don't want them there. That is the truth - if they cannot treat everyone well then they are not going to be welcomed with open arms. If they are able to act mature and good to you then of course you would both be more welcoming. At least your husband is able to see your point of view as well, it's a hard position to be in for both of you. I'm sorry!