MIL mentally torturing sis and hus

Rise · Jun 5, 2014

My sis stays abroad with kid and hus. Her hus has an elder brother too,who stays in another country with family. Now the elder brother had taken mil n fil to his place for a year to be with kids and all.

In 4 months mil started all tactics...said she is having bp,feels drowsy cant sleep,all drama ..wanted to go to hospital daily for check ups abroad!![doctor certified she is fine]... but her drama continued saying she wants to go back she is ill she will die abroad and none will be there and all thth drama.... She calls my sis hus [her younger son who is all in for mom] and complains about elder brother saying he doesnt care she wil die in this country..... so finally both brothers not in good terms and mil n fil were flown back to native

now Again she calls my sis hus daily and says she dont want medicine,she cant sleep... all drama till late night with son on phone..PS ISD call... fil is fed up and says he is leving home....

now sis is so tensed cause mil says she wont take medicines and calls sis hus daily eating their brain telling dont want medicine i will die .... calls take plsce daily and sis hus has lost his peace

PS: thy have taken mil to all doctors including Psychiatrist ...all certified she is fine !!

wht to do... ? sis and hus have lost their mind with all the drama....sis hus is travelling to native to take to hospital cause she wont take medicine

kanthtx · Jun 5, 2014

just ignore her drama and need to leave her... as long as they give in to her tantrums she will keep playing them...

just tell them to ignore her and let her know if she doesn't take medicine, it will be her fault and she will impact her health.. state it once for all and ignore the future tantrums...

yellowmango · Jun 5, 2014

Ignore her.....

persecutedDIL · Jun 5, 2014

For this one time, ask your sister to not stop hubby from going to the native place. Let him thoroughly investigate what the matter is so that if something befalls the MIL, nobody will blame your sister. I feel it is that insecurity which parents of sons have in India - sons slipping out of hands. Nothing else. But let your BIL take the trouble once, and then hopefully, he would know how much money went down the drain all for naught due to his Mom's drama and will learn to ignore. Otherwise she'll threaten their peaceful world always.

Rise · Jun 5, 2014

her son my sis hus keeps calling every 15 min to see if mom eats medicine.. !!! i know thy are just adding fuel to fire... my sis is in ignore mode... but cant do with mil son -sis hus.... he is travelling to native ...planned just tonight... my sis doesnt interefere in him going to native..... she just needs peace... everything is a mess ... sis is left with kid .... sis is quite strong but worried abt hus health.... cause hes having sleepless nights thnking abt situation at home....

Jhilmill · Jun 5, 2014

Old people want company in old age...these days with kids having career abroad its not possible for everyone. To be in company obviously they need to behave but insecure and jealous people don't deal with things maturely.

First you decide what you want and gauge the situation how their health situation are...
Analyse their and your own needs then

1. Ask your hubby to be mature and stop blaming his brother who invited her mom for four months .
2. When babies cry for a toy, ignore and try to change the topic...obviously your hubby should be doing this.
3. He need to be there for her but not to give in her tantrums.
4. Ask hubby to ask his father to support his mom emotionally and handle her fears
5. Keep yourself distant from all these unless something comes upon you...if your hubby seeks advise then calmly tell him whats your take on the whole thing.

and yes always ignore tantrums as yellowmango said.

Rise · Jun 5, 2014

yeah she doesnt stop him in anything... she just wants peace and hus health...

persecutedDIL said: ↑

For this one time, ask your sister to not stop hubby from going to the native place. Let him thoroughly investigate what the matter is so that if something befalls nobody will blame your sister. I feel it is that insecurity which parents of sons have in India - sons slipping out of hands. Nothing else. But let your BIL take the trouble once and then hopefully, he would know how much money went down the drain all for naught due to his Mom's drama and will learn to ignore. Otherwise she'll threaten their peaceful world always.
Click to expand...

Rise · Jun 5, 2014

yeah true... fil too is old and cant take tantrums anymore.... mil has been treated in all possible ways and all docs said she is fine... just bp..for which she needs to take tablets... which she is not taking by choice now.......
sis hus has a really good paying job and to leave thth is really not practical at this point... thy are ready to take thm to their place for which mil not interested........................

Jhilmill said: ↑

Old people want company in old age...these days with kids having career abroad its not possible for everyone. To be in company obviously they need to behave but insecure and jealous people don't deal with things maturely.

First you decide what you want and gauge the situation how their health situation are...
Analyse their and your own needs then

1. Ask your hubby to be mature and stop blaming his brother who invited her mom for four months .
2. When babies cry for a toy, ignore and try to change the topic...obviously your hubby should be doing this.
3. He need to be there for her but not to give in her tantrums.
4. Ask hubby to ask his father to support his mom emotionally and handle her fears
5. Keep yourself distant from all these unless something comes upon you...if your hubby seeks advise then calmly tell him whats your take on the whole thing.

and yes always ignore tantrums as yellowmango said.
Click to expand...

heron · Jun 5, 2014

Rise said: ↑

Her hus has an elder brother too,
Click to expand...

Is this your Dh then?..just confused

beanstalk · Jun 5, 2014

I guess at this point, your sister should step back and let her husband handle the situation. Sometimes parents are vulnerable and emotionally insecure. Sometime long talks help, other times visiting the parent and making them secure does and still other times just ignoring them.
Let the husband travel and manage and see whats going on and what he wants to do. Ask sister to be supportive and not to criticize. Once husband has been there, taken her to doctors personally and has the required tests done, with reprimand from doctor to take meds on time, next time she complain he will remind/reprimand her himself.

Since this involves his parents and is sensitive matter and barely involves your sister, I think she should let her husband manage the issue without getting fed up with calls and stuff.