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Mil ~ Jewelry - Painful

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by star90new, Oct 25, 2018.

  1. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi ladies..
    I am fedup up of dealing with my MIl.
    She always insults me and disrespects me. Last time I visited India, I couldn’t keep my jewelry back in my locker. I had taken in intending to wear it for a function, but later on decided not to .My husband told me to give it to my MIL and that she will keep it safe. I gave it to her and asked her to keep it in her locker. Just recently I found out that she wore my necklace to a gathering . It was a simple event , maximum 20 people.

    I feel angry and hurt that she wore my wedding jewelry. I din’t wear it even once after my wedding day. Not sure how to deal with this. In my mind its wrong for her to wear my wedding jewelry, second thing she din’t even ask or mention.

    I couldn’t sleep for the whole night , as I was shocked when I found out that she did this without letting me know.
     
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    Has she given you her jewellery any time?
    If not then it’s not fair and she should have asked you before. But if it’s safe then don’t worry too much.

    Sarcastically tell her that necklace is too good. She may feel guilty and stop wearing it without your permission :tongueout:

    Have you given all the jewellery to your MIL? Next time keep some of them at your moms place.
     
    star90new likes this.
  3. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    You are unnecessarily getting tension .. she just wore it , she did not lose it or break it. Don't take so much tension maybe she was not aware you will be hurt . She got some small happiness to wear it , so forgive her . Tell her calmly u don't like to take it out because it's very delicate and could easily be broken . Just be calm I can understand your sentiments but not worth losing sleep over .
     
  4. boby

    boby Silver IL'ite

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    You don't have to get angry for this silly thing, unless she sells or pawns your jewelry. Its okay chill! Even my mother wears my new jewelry without telling me. I find it cute! Ofcourse MIL can never be Mother. Still leave it!
     
    pinkydarling and star90new like this.
  5. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    I have never worn any of her jewelry. No, rest are in my locker. I trusted her and gave it. Never expected that she would do like this without asking.
     
  6. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    She did not , but its my wedding jewelry and I feel like its mine and no one else should wear it atleast for a few yrs.. She doesn’t know that i have understood that its my necklace. I accidentally found her wearing.
    I am afraid if I can trust her in other serious matters from now on. Its like I have lost trust. I feel it was cheap of her to wear mine.
    She recently sold her jewelry and deposited money in bank.(came to know through my husband). I think she is planning to wear it again and since I am abroad , I can’t collect it back.
     
  7. star90new

    star90new Bronze IL'ite

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    Yea .. it’s jewelry but wedding jewelry. I never wore other than on my wedding day. It’s something my dad gifted me and I trusted her with it. What if it has lost the precious stones . Mother means yes would have been better. But my mother would never do such a thing without asking. Plus this type of necklace is worn by younger people in my place.
     
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear star90new,

    If it's bothering you then you can ask your mother/sister anyone close to you(if they are in the same city) to go and collect it from MIL. You can politely tell your MIL that since your mom/sis want to use it they will collect it next time they meet MIL.
    If that is not an option as someone suggested here tell your MIL the necklace is good and is very similar to what you have or something like it is a bit delicate and might break or something indirectly. So that the message is given to her indirectly and also you did not hurt her by confronting directly.( off course here you cannot ask her directly).
     
    nakshatra1 likes this.
  9. Aaru14

    Aaru14 New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    Even i have the same problem., unable to post new thread , so posting here.

    Iam married for 5 yrs, soon after marriage came to US with husband, before coming mil took all my wedding jewellery( given by my mom) and kept in her bank locker. After 2 yrs came to india for brother ‘s marriage, asked about jewellery then she brought on wedding day, as soon as wedding finished she started asking about jewellery, i kept them in mom’s locker and came back US as iam not intrested to give her. The relation between me and mil is very formal.she never care about me and my daughter,always consider us as outsider. Never share anything to us. And my husband , he always listens to his mom and supports her. She will never talk to me directly, if she need any info about me and want to ask anything she will ask her son not me.the thing which annoys me most is After doing everything she still point out my parents.its been 5 yrs of marriage but never gifted anything to me or my daughter, but she want to handle my jewellry , she feels it as her right. And now asking my husband about jewellry,and i told him that iam
    Not intrested, want to open my own locker. He says” no, no need of discussion just give it to my parents, will think later about locker”, there starts argument between us , but he will never compromise. And my SIL( hubby’s SIS) can keep her jewllery with her mom, but i should’nt, this is the rule of MIL.
    Now iam in india she again started asking about jewellery, how to tell her and my husband without any fight. Since 2 yrs my jewellry is with mom, my mil should have understand that iam not intrested but still she is asking. If i say anything, my husband will start fight, what should i do now? Any advice please.
     
    Desimommy likes this.
  10. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    My mil wore Saree the silk expensive ones did not tell me. All these years whenever I wore she would later say u made it dirty n I believed but this year she told me she wore my saree to a wedding n also her saree but only dry cleaned hers not mine so all the years she was wearing them but never told .
    It is ok if she wears them next time get it with u . Have locker here so it’s safe .,
    They are like this only .
     

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