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Mil- Dil And The ‘kimkartavyavimoodh’ Son.

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by HariLakhera, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Tu tu mein mein is a normal part of family life. in its extremes it can even lead to tragedy but everday tu tu mein mein can be fun except of course, for the son/husband.
     
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Indian sons have it very easy. It’s the women that have to suffer. How many men have to display their culinary skills to their in laws or have their every move analyzed and over analyzed ( and criticized ) ? Very few , in my opinion.
    The father in law and mother in law are two wheels of the chakki while bahu is the atta ( Flour) .
     
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  3. Ramyarc

    Ramyarc Silver IL'ite

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    Totally agree!
    In our culture, parents of the bride of usually so scared that they treat the son in law like a VIP. But its the opposite for parents of the son. They don’t even think twice before passing comments or finding faults in the DIL before or after marriage.

    DILs have to jump so many hoops to prove their worth before and after marriage whether they like it or not but thats not the case for son in laws.
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:Very valid points succinctly put. I agree.
    Thanks and Regards.
     
  5. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    Absolutely right Joylokhi. Parents need to understand that performing their Karmas towards their kids is needed but in the process not to forget caring about their needs for future as well. Expectations arise when parents think that they have done so much for their children and as they grow up to be Adults its their responsibility of taking care of their parents. So they go way n beyond to do many things, including taking loans only to end up in debts and with nothing left for themselves in their old age. I think every parent should save enough n more so that they can live a peaceful independent life in their prime age. Setting a limitation to how much you can do for ur children to secure that independent life will ensure harmony in the household.
     
  6. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Your right @Sandyr46 . Exactly my views too! However, even in such situations differences do arise as each is brought up in entirely different households . There is always bound to be comparisons between how a girl is brought up in her own home and the situation in her marital home can never match upto the same for any girl , as the love and affection of parents will far outweigh everything else. There rises the issues, and a lot of maturity and empathy is required from both sides for a meaningful relationship.
     
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  7. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Finest Post Winner

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    When I stop and think Joylokhi, the fact is that one day, I too, will be someone's in-law. Wondering how will that look like? How will I act? Being a single mom and after facing so many hurdles, I am investing every core of myself to his upbringing. When he grows up to be an adult, get married and decide to live life differently, well....I think I might find that challenging too. It may feel like rejection, when in reality, it is simply a decision to live life his way.

    A positive relationship requires mutual tolerance, respect and at least an attempt at not being too judgmental. Easier said than done for most people..
     
  8. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Really appreciate the honesty and your ability to put yourself in the shoes of the other side. Forewarned is forearmed. So the fact that you realize how you would feel is good, so now you can prepare yourself mentally for that situation and learn to be emotionally independent and rejoice in the happiness of your son and his family. If you do that, I am sure they will come after you rather than you having to demand attention from them. Make your plans to travel the world and to LIVE your life to the hilt once you are done with the responsibility of raising your kid.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2019
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  9. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    That's equally true. It is however the son who gets confused and can't decide which way to go.
     
  10. HariLakhera

    HariLakhera Gold IL'ite

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    Volumes have been and can be written about the condition of Indian bahus. I wonder why a woman designated as mother in law will torture another woman designated as daughter in law. Saas bhi kabhi bahu thee!!! (Mil was also Dil oneday) Or she is taking the revenge or simple carrying forward the tradition.
    Son in law is treated as a VIP for the reason that his in laws want him to protect their daughter. Unfortunates these very in laws treat their daughter in law differently. There are different yardsticks for daughter and daughter in law. Why? What a son has to do in it?
     

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