MIL- DIL and the ‘Kimkartavyavimoodh’ Son. This is obviously a subject discussed among women folk but let me try to put the pitiful position from men’s angle. Sufi poet Kabir said in different context but holds good in the fragile situation of a son who is directly or indirectly drawn into the fight between his mother and his wife. He said:- चलती चक्की देख के दिया कबीरा रोय, द्वी पाटन के बीच मे साबुत बचा न कोय। (Chalti chakki dekh ke diya kabira toy, Dwi paran ke beech me sabut bacha na joy.) Loosely translated: (Kabir cried when he saw that none survives between the two wheels of a running grinding machine) Those two wheels are Mother and Wife the one between the wheels is Son and the Grinding Machine is the Family. The mother thinks her son has been snatched from her by his wife, an outside girl who entered the household only yesterday and the wife thinks her husband is still behaves like a baby eager to hide behind his mother’s pallu. The problem is nobody asks him what he thinks. He is taken for granted. He has to obey both or face wrath of either or both. Contradicting either is inviting rebuke. Counseling either is finding fault. Another interesting thing is the issues are symbolic and words spoken are in figure of speech. No one tells what the real issue is. The son is expected to read between the lines and read correctly from the differing angles of both of warring feudal. He is expected to listen and sake his all agreeing head in the direction of the speaker. Added to this is the role as a Son in Law. His wife’s mother also blames him only and subtly hints to seek a transfer to another city. They find nothing wrong in her daughter as she finds nothing right in her DIL. The poor fellow swings like a pendulum unable to decide which way to go. On the one hand there is mother who gave him birth, nourished him and made a man out of a child. He is emotionally attached to her. She is depending on him for the rest of her life. On the other hand there is this girl who agreed to accept him as a life partner, with or without her consent, and share emotional and physical needs as his wife. Both of them are depending on each other for the rest of their life. The poor fellow is totally at loss to figure out what should he do. Kimkartavyabimoodh.-getting finely ground under the giant wheel of Mother and Wife.