Mil Behaving Rude

This could be her insecurity or a trap for you to drop your guard and talk to her something annoyed and she could make a mountain of it .... this was my experience. .
Just start ignoring her and let her do what ever she wants... stop telling your hubby to pacify her also... you never know when they will change things around with 1 incidence...
So your bit, talk to everyone politely ...take care

 

You are newly married and this problem has started just now. You just ignore her behaviour and do your duties. Never argue never fight back and never question what and why. Keep yourself busy and try to be polite else leave. Your first argument will be the start of making problem worse tht you will never be able to cure. So just avoid that in any case.

 

She is insecure and struggling with it. She is seeking attention. As @VinuthaS and @messedup suggested, keep your cool. Let mil get hold of her feelings and notice your goodness. It may take some time but eventually it will happen. In the meantime, don't worry, be happy.

 

Insecurity and jealousy. Do not cater to her childish behavior, and do not complain about her to your husband or discuss her behavior endlessly. Also ask your husband not to needlessly fight with her. Both of you ignore her when she starts acting childishly and just do your duties properly. Lack of attention is the best medicine for this. She will get tired of this drama soon when she sees that it is not having an effect.
Do not allow her to spoil your early married days.

 

Is your husband a single child?
If yes, then she's insecure.

 

As others here have said, she is highly insecure and jealous. The good thing here is that your husband is at least standing up for you. If I were you, I'd stay out of it completely. Don't even discuss with your husband unless he broaches the topic with you first. Don't go out of your way to do anything for her either. You are recently married, hopefully this is just a phase and once she realizes that you aren't going anywhere, hopefully she'll settle down a little and start behaving normally again. In the meantime, just be yourself and pretend like nothing is wrong.
My MIL was the same when I first got married. Because we didn't live together it took her almost 4 years to accept me.

 

Her actions is not normal, she hates you and she is insecure. Good that your DH understands the situation and supports you. Don’t complain about your MIL to your DH but insted praise him and thank him for being there for you and give him a special treat

 

Congrats for your marriage .

Your mil is just being a typical mil.
Stop trying to give attention to her. When she is in good mood ,talk to her. What she is rude...just avoid her. Trying to pacify her or asking for reason is just feeding her attention seeking ego. The more you do it...the more she will sulk.

If she does not want to be around you both...consider it a gift for you both. Enjoy the privacy she is offering you .

As for her fighting with her son, don't get involved on either side. Stay out of it . They will sort it out between themselves.

You just do your work in the house and then do your thing .

Her talks about not contributing could be about your pay too. May be she is hinting...or may be not.
Don't bring it up if you do not want to give your pay.
Make some recurring deposits on your name and keep husband informed about your saving .

If you are fine with contributing,then take up one thing that you would contribute towards...like electricity bill, vegetables, etc.

As for getting blamed for everything...that is a part and parcel of a dil's life in India. You will be blamed for your husband work issues, you will blamed for husband getting cold ....just wait ,you will be blamed if your kid sneezes in future.That is unfortunately the mil's entitlement.
Since you have to live with her,develop a thick skin. Just ignore and do not pay attention. Act like it does not effect you. That is the fastest way of getting her bored.

Just play it cool. She is itching for a family fight probably to check loyalties. Don't give her the opportunity. Everytime you ignore and avoid...give yourself a pat on your back. That is a small victory.

Keep your husband happy . Let him know how you are trying to keep peace. Tell him you are reacting according to her mood to avoid confrontation in the family hence you are staying aloof but respectful when she is rude to you and you are normal when she is normal.

If he fights for you or stands by you...do not interfere. Just stay in the back ground. Later on let him know how much you appreciate it with a big hug.Less words,more feelings.

If you need to talk to him just to off load some frustration,let him know you are doing it to let off steam so that you can keep cool at home.

Let him know he need not react to it or talk to his mother about the issue.

Let him know you feel better after telling him and hopefully you will be better able to maintain peace .Keep this complaining to minimum.

Best wishes op.