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MIL always problem creator

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Sandy23, Jan 11, 2015.

  1. Sandy23

    Sandy23 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,


    My in laws are always creating troubles, mainly my MIL and SIL always try to destroy my peace of mind. Today my MIL was angry shouted at me for some simple issues. I had a partial molar pregnancy last year this was my 4th miscarriage, after d&c they found out some cells were abnormal so it may be of chariocaranoma(its type of cancer) so I m visiting an oncologist for past 6months they taking my blood test frequently due to this I have high pressure sometimes I cannot getup, or eat so taking medicines for that too. both of them know these things but creating troubles. She was shouting at the phone continuously I tried to calm down her. After so many scolding I told her that, im 30 years old still have so much of health problems have to conceive and deliver kids have to care of them, but you are 60 years completed but talking like this, I m younger than you but , I m talking calmly you are increasing my pressure. please amma don't use such words to me. You have done best at your life but I have to start my life. She slammed down the phone and told my husband that I m jealous of her health and critizing her age.(I m not jealous of her)

    what can I do, my SIL called my hubby making this issues big as always...
    I m frustrated friends what can I do, i have helped my SIL while her tough times and took care of her kids when she is in need, they always use me and my family and creating troubles in my life
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Don't take her calls anymore. Seriously.
    If she calls when your husband is not around, let it go to voice mail. If he's there, he needs to be the one to talk.
    There is no point trying to reason with her. You need two hands to clap. Just refuse to serve as a punching bag.
     
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  3. Sandy23

    Sandy23 Senior IL'ite

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    thanks Malstrom, Yes I am avoiding her, this time she asked my husband to give his phone and shouted. My hubby told her I m not well but she told that she is also having pressure and so many troubles.
    I am done with this people ,my SIL is advising me that as her mother is my MIL, they have the rights to shout at me, even though they beat girl parents that have be silent for their daughter life sake. sometimes I feel like I am living in mentally depressed family.
     
  4. Sandy23

    Sandy23 Senior IL'ite

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    sometimes I feel that I have no hope for life already in dreadful ttc,no job, no kids and problem creators around me.
    I am afraid to do suicide as my karma might continue next birth. I pray that my sufferings must end this birth itself.
     
  5. hope2b

    hope2b Silver IL'ite

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    Suicide is not an answer for your troubles. Please remove such thoughts. Think about the people who gave you birth. Tough times don't last forever and when they do, it will only make you stronger. Please relax and meditate, which is more important for your pregnancy. Ignore troublesome folks.
     
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  6. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    Hey op

    please be strong and not fall victim to an abuser like your mil and sil. You are being extremely polite in your situation. I can see your dh us kn your side, use that and ask your dh, how can he listen ill against you!? Is this why uphe married you so that his mom and sister can torture you?! Tell him that the reason for your depression and miscarriages are your mil and sil, family is suppose to safeguard and support and not become a reason for depression and life hassles. But most importsntly you have to become strong yourself, if your mil shouts tell her, you will talk to her when she will learn to respect you and talk calmly. Till then refuse to take her phone, and your sil is another social evil, telling you she and ur mil have rights to shout on you. Op you are an adult and no one can treat you badly unless you let them. Your sil n mil are not the boss of you, stop giving them that much importance. And if they have ever raised a hand on you, i would duggest you book a police report for domestic violence, DO NOT TAKE IT LIGHTLY! My question to you if you are not happy in your marital life, y are you planning a baby in such a depressing setup?! Do you think things will imprive after you have a baby?!

    You are not a punching bag for your mil n sil and ket them know that! And if you feel your husband is also not supportive of your situation and you taking strong steps to safeguard yourself from petty and worthless people like your mil n sil , i tjink you need to rethink your situation in this marriage, if you are already not happy and are being ill treated, do you want to bring a piece your heart in such a abusive environment!
    Abusive people like you mil dont deserve a grandchil, n if your husband isnt able to safeguard your interests against people your mil n sil how will safeguard your child's interests!????????? Dont fall for husbands weakly defending wife before mil, if he wants he can end this entire ordeal, let him do that before you decide to give him a baby to take care of! JMO !!
    I hope things work out for you!
     
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  7. katsb

    katsb Silver IL'ite

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    You should only think about one thing now - your health. Nothing or noone else.
    Kids will happen if you are destined. But first you improve your health.

    As for your nasty MIL/SIL, cut off all contact with them. If ever you happen to be trapped to talk to them, just innocently disconnect the call and carry on. Dont take these maniacs' words to heart!

    Also, why does your husband not protect you from such behavior from his folks. It is his responsibility and you tell him that.

    Suicide is no solution, take therapy if needed.
     
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  8. bappanaduSose

    bappanaduSose Bronze IL'ite

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    hi,
    My one and only suggestion is to just forget that MIL and SIL exist.They never gave birth to you nor are you responsible for any of their issues.Your husband is related to them and he needs to handle these things.

    Time is a best healer.Things keep changing and time flies..
    You should thank your stars that you stay away from them and dont have to see them day in and day out.

    There are many here who dont have a place to hide when they get to hear stuff from PILs.I myself used to go to room and vent out to my diary when i had issues with In laws....

    But as time passes,one needs to forget.I read my diary and laugh at it now...those issues seem very silly..

    I am sure,in another 1 yr time,you would be reading these threads of yours and feeling proud as to how you overcame so many obstucles and moved on...and THEN...and THEN...suddenly ur daughter /son will cry from inside your room :)and you will log off this website with a smile on your pretty face.....

    SO DONT WORRY...Take carry of health and just IGNORE ur MIL
     
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  9. chandrakiran

    chandrakiran Silver IL'ite

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    I used to write in my diary but later i found that safeguarding this diary became difficult, so i had to destroy them at some point in time..!
    OP - Just relax...also please remember, your MIL and SIL are human beings too. They would have some justification in their side for their behavior and never believe or understand that they are harming you, each person has a dark side which becomes dominant at some point. Maybe later in life, they would realize and their better side would come out. Try and isolate yourself from them as much as possible currently. NEVER, never get into verbal arguments. it only makes you feel worse and will make them behave worse.

    Just my thoughts....
     
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  10. nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    OP,

    Your in-laws are bullies. You need to learn to deal with them.

    Pleading with a person who is inclined to be disrespectful does not work. If MIL/SIL begin shouting or abusing you any time, feel free to disconnect the call. Let them learn the lesson that it is not ok to be rude. As for the SIL's lectures, ask her to keep her sage advice to use with her own ILs.

    Being rude to ILs is not good. But, it is equally bad to tolerate their rude taunts. No need to explain yourself to them. Just say calmly that they have misunderstood you, and you had no intention of hurting them. No use justifying yourself any further. If they want to find fault, they will find fault. Let them. You go on with your life.
     
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