Merits and demerits of being a single child

padma777 · Dec 23, 2010

As we know that a single child gets utmost care and attention because no one else is there to share, still there are some diadvantages like a single child is less sociable, lacks the sociable qualities and is sentimental. He/ she also has low stress tolerance. Generally single children are less likely to take challenges because they are always over protected by the parents and relatives. But so far as getting parental attention is concerned they are the victims of being caught by parents for any cheating! Do think any other merits/demerits of being a single child? Ur comment is most welcome. Pl go ahead.

nitu21 · Dec 23, 2010

Merits: single child is more independent,treats all equally
Demerits: single child lacks confidence,self esteem,trust and is insecure as well bcoz of the feeling of lack of support in future to reckon

kkrish · Dec 24, 2010

I am a little curious if the characteristics are proven after a survey-type study or is it just your opinions?
The characteristics noted here by both Padma and Nitu can apply to anybody immaterial of whether they are an only-child or born with siblings!
There have great leaders an dfamous personalities in this world who were only-children: eg. Indira Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, President Roosevelt, Actor Robin Williams, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant, Tipper Gore, Condoleeza Rice, to name a few! Were these people lacking in confidence, self-esteem and were insecure? How could they have been leaders if they lacked social skills and stress-tolerance.
Please don't pass blanket judgement on only children; it hurts, because I am one.

raji2678 · Dec 24, 2010

Good one, kkrish! As a sinle cild myself, I am really hurt by the way we are singled out by people telling how lucky we are and how we are pampered, etc. It must be remembered that the characteristics of the child are formed by the upbrining. We have seen so many posts complaining of how insensitive their spouses (who are not single children) are.

Raji

iswaryadevi · Dec 24, 2010

Well said kamala!! Nothing more to add...

padma777 · Dec 25, 2010

Thanks Nitu, Kkrish, Iswarya & raji. Sorry I dont want to hurt your sentiments. I have not gone through any survey or studies to find out the fact. This is just an informal discussion. I am a single child and people say different things at different times. Some say single children are affectionate, some say they are strong, some say they are insecure etc etc. Due to this I sometimes face an identity crisis as who am I? Am I strong, am I having a strong will power? Am I sociable? The topic on sociability starts whenever I start to do something on my own. When I take my own decision by not following others, then there would always be a disaster that I am not a mixing type of person. I am selfish and so on because I want to stay away from others. For example, colleagues (ladies) want to go to market during lunch hour in the office. But I want to take a little rest after lunch which will help me to regain my mental stamina so that I can work better in the 2nd half. That becomes an issue and my single status is focused. So I thought this is a best platform where my views can be shared and I can also know what others think about single children in general. Please take it easy.

kkrish · Dec 26, 2010

Dear Padma
I believe this thread is a reciprocation of the "treatment" you think you are getting from your colleagues at work. I have read many of your posts where you describe your problems at work.

I don't understand what this "identity" is.
Nor do I understand how psycho-analyzing "the only-child" phenomena is going to help you.

However, if it makes you happy go ahead... but don't lump every "only-child" under these characteristics.

Let me finish with a few quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt which are a few of the values I have mapped for myself to follow:

1. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
2. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
3. Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
4. Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.
5. You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
6.You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude
7.Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be
Take care.

Spiderman1 · Dec 26, 2010

kkrish said: ↑

Let me finish with a few quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt which are a few of the values I have mapped for myself to follow:

1. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
2. Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.
3. Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
4. Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.
5. You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
6.You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude
7.Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be
Click to expand...

Golden! I am sending an email on this to myself!

radsahana · Dec 26, 2010

Dear kamla,

I just want ot rextify one thing , if udont get offended just for information, without any analysis.

gandhiji was not a single child, he was youngest of three, if I am not wrong