mentel stress and torture

In-laws who accept to take so much dowry. Theirs is not a nice family at first.

Is it a love marriage,?

Did you met him thru matrimonial website

 

OP:
Sorry for your loss.
Please run for your life, without even looking back.

 

Dear Vexed,
Its really heart breaking reading all the posts of yours. Why are you and your parents bearing all the pains , blames, curses and suffering silently? u r an independent working gal dear. merely giving the demanded dowry in the hope of inlaws good treatment is just a mirage. Please do not do that blindly. Its 21st century. u should be in a situation to make them shut everything (sorry if I am bein rude) an be in their limits. why are dancing to their tunes dear? you r a modern gal yet traditional . But implement your thoughts in such a way that will make your inlaws and husband shake them literally. They should think twice to approach you or ur family. You should be in a situation to kick them out of ur house fr wht mainly your husband did. If he is such a momma's boy why did he marry you? and why did he made you concieve? and stupid fellow for babana's also they are collecting money from ur parents? if any thing happens to his mom with whom he and his father go and ask money? jis maternal side? How is relatives are? . Now please stop giving money to them and stand up to ur feet. Be bold and brave. Dont go to ur inlaws place when in India. If your husband or inlaws threten you you give a counter fitting reply. Dear gal, this is life. if everything is provieded then its a cake walk. If everything is in crude form then their lies your ability of your tackling your husband and inlaws and mainly putting some sense in him. It may take time but still stand and fight. dont ever ever show to ur opponents that your are terrified to their attacks. stand up to ur feet say a blunt NO to their weired acts.

 

i read a similar story with slight variations in aval vikatan some months back.finally what the girl did was went back to India to her parent's place and lodged a police complaint against IL's and H.Police summoned the H from abroad and then the girl asked the police to arrange for a counselling session for the entire IL's family including H and then they sorted out the problem.

I think the above approach is the best for your life also.

Try to do the below.

1. Think if living with your H is really worth it.Is he treating you well or is he mistreating you?If he is abusive threaten him with 911 call.If you do not want to live with him just apply for divorce.it is better to be a divorcee than in a unhappy marriage.

2.tell your H that you lost your child only because of IL's torture and will not become pregnant again until he starts listening to you.your H will threaten you,your IL's will threaten but do not budge.be firm.just put off your pregnancy for another couple of years."kulandhai porandha ellam sariagidum" is all bull**** never listen to that.

3. next time IL's abuse you or your family just tell them that you will lodge a police complaint that they demanded dowry which according to our law is an offence.

4.be strong and do not give in to any of their demands.be bold and talk back.literally threaten them for each and every thing.i know peace of mind will be lost but it is ok.

5.find a job for yourself and become independent.

 

My only question is.. why did you still terminate your pregnancy?
Do you respect yourself, your body, your child and will you continue worshipping such inhumans.
Was there a medical reason to terminate this pregnancy or was it done for too early a pregnancy or medical expenses? Was it a girl child that this family was not interested with?

Doesn't anyone around you know that their are many childless couples?

 

I had goose bumps reading ur post
every other agony is bearable but the fact that u terminated ur pregnancy, was it just the cleft lip or more issues with the fetus a cleft lip can be fixed easily it is very cosmetic right.....

I do not understand another thing abt dowry they are not supposed to give /take dowry openly right ...then if take any legal action what happens

 

OMG what all you had to undergo, I thought my pregnancy was the worst ever but yours is miserable... your MIL is behaving just like in laws they show in movies or serial's...

Now since you had your pregnancy terminated I advice you to re think if you still want to continue this marriage, with out your DH's support it is not worth while to stay on to this life,,, Your in laws are mean people who are sure not to change, the next option is you have to go independent with your DH and lay a condition that your in laws will not interfere in your life.. please decide before u get pregnant again

 

OMG! I have no words to explain this and I really dont know why God has created such creatures!! How could they be so disgusting. Why are you undergoing all this torture... You deserve better...

This kind of situation gives a real lesson to parents.. Parents think that the guy is in abroad, only son and they get their daughter married without even knowing the nature of the in-laws..

Your parents are seeing right, your situation. What are they saying about it? How did your husband behave when you were not well during your pregnancy? Did he treat you well. I am asking this because, if he is also behaving like this, then there is no point in continuing in such relationships. Your life is in your hand, take care of your health and find a solution dear! may god bless you..

 

Hi Vexed,
I feel sad for u and the pain u had to take up.. Dont worry about ur unborn child.. It is better not to bring the child in this stressful environment..
one thing is - you and your parents have been listening to them from the start. Now they are sitting on your head. You should not have asked your parents to stop calling your hubby , they have the right on Son in law.

How is your hubby with u.. I feel that he is not very good towards u. Tell him that u are not going to continue talking to your inlaws nor they hav to come to your place till 2 kids are born..if he stands by u then he is yours for ever else he is never urs as saying goes.. one dont have to take crap specially from hubby and inlaws.. you will surely deserve a better life..

 

PI

If we suggest this over n over...people are thinking we are monsters....the calculations of before n after pregnancy and what women needs..no one is understanding..unexpected or accidental pregnancies are diff...but during initial days of marriage itself many get the idea of their surroundings...but we all ignore our intuition..