Mending Relationship with IN-LAWS

Its nice to know that you are trying to men relationship with inlaws. Be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. Even if things dont go as planned atleast you can look on the brighter side and be happy that you atleast took the intiative. But mostly, things will be ok after the first step i feel. There is no harm in taking the first step. It shows how much more mature you are as a person. All the best!

 

We are not to forget that tomorrow we are also going to be In-laws.

As per Sachi Moderation is best. But Your husband has to listen to that . In my case what ever she mentioned i put forth, DH tells life and relationships cannot be handled with your terms. You have invite your inlaws/ SIL/BIL for functions , even if they donot bother to call you for functions in their house. They are our close relatives so donot expect formalities from them. But we should be perfect in our formalities.

After 10 yrs of marriage and losing self respect now I have raised myself that i donot need these relatives who have not even helped me in these 10 years once. Because these relative just donot bother about us or about our feelings. So why bother about them. Give the same treatment what they gave u . Now it hurts them. My husband does not like - so you carry on with them .

When i told keep relatives at a moderate distance. He would over fall on them and tried to do things for them and made me do things for them. Now the case is that all have completely stopped. If he would have kept a distance atleast once in a while they would have come. You should not suffocate a person to that extent that she throw them off.

Lakshmi

 

Well said and well opined my friends.

At some stage, when the children grows up to the stage of puberty and when the seniors start aging, I notice, that so many changes are visible in the big family. First, the daughter-in-law is not a junior member of the family anymore but she is the In-charge of a new family that she had made together with their son, Second, it is now they are on the side where they would be getting dependent gradually. Strength could not be shown only by torturing others but also by standing the moods and uncontrolled emotions of the vulnerables. I see some senior family members insufficient to become the 'strength' of their daughter-in-law but overtime, their daughter-in-law at least starts being their strength. I really appreciate the positive feelings that is cropping in your hearts for your perpetrators. This time, I am sure, that you would not be looking for the acceptance of your goodness but would proactively show your feelings without any kind of reward in return. Because THIS IS SOMETHING THAT BEST DEFINE YOUR PERSONALITY. Don't be a people-pleaser, do it only because your heart says so.

 

Here I stand at the other end, I mean as I am staying with my mil I can hear her rant and rave:rant when ever she has a necessity to talk to her other dil.Well it is never smooth she claiming that her dil has turned her dear loving son to this type:hide:. As the moderator says a hi bye is necessary in a relationship like this for the betterment of life:bonkI feel so.Good luck:thumbsup