Men Vs. Women

Today while answering @shravs3 thread, Can’t Forget That Incident I remembered this article of mine which I had posted on some other forum on 14 January 2017. Even though the quoted episode is an old issue nothing really has changed since then and the article remains relevant.


Men vs. Women


What happened in Bengaluru on the New Year Eve is a shame. There can be no two opinions about it. Some blame the hooligans who misused the occasion, some blame the girls and their dressing, and indirectly suggest that girls should not have gone there without beefy bodyguards, some blame the government and the law enforcing agencies and so on. All are having a good time pointing fingers at each other. But why did this incident happen in the first place?

These are my views and you are free to agree or disagree.

Men


It is an undisputed fact that men are physically stronger and they have formed all the societal rules to their advantage. When man shifted from a wandering lifestyle to the agrarian lifestyle, family structures were established and women tended to children and domesticities allowing men to manage the outside work. This meant more controls went into men’s hands. With the formation of society, codes of conduct were also laid down and here, men kept an unduly larger share of freedom and power in their hands. Now they want the same situation to go on forever. But with the changing social scenario, women are educating themselves better, working and sharing responsibilities at home and outside too. All along this period, women grew from strength to strength, whereas men found themselves facing competition and losing their superiority at each and every step. They now have to share everything with women! It is this pressure to share and coexist that is being difficult for most men. When their supremacy and territorial rights are challenged, they react by physically or mentally punishing a woman; it starts with mental harassment and according to the situation, it ranges from physical and mental abuse, molestation to rape or even a brutal murder. Men argue and argue, make inane jokes about women and say that women have inferior mental faculties forgetting the fact that women (mothers, sisters and teachers) were their first teachers! Men saw and understood the world initially holding a woman’s finger!

All the men at all times are not bad. They are integral to life. But whenever challenged most of them display the savage mindset and react. They argue with élan and cry hoarse trying to prove themselves right. They have successfully established the patriarchal system and are not ready to lose their perks and rights easily.

My request to men is, be fair. We are your mothers, sisters and friends. In this changing world, please change; learn to share and adopt the principle-Live, let live.


Women



Once women settled into domestic life, they were content with their lives and got busy with their duties. By the time they realised that they had lost their basic rights as human beings, it was late. They were bound by too many rules and regulations, and societal expectations to be subservient and live as second-grade citizens. Women became the possessions of men! When the world orders were changing, empires were rising and falling, women got marginalised, victimised, objectified and commoditized. Some women found their way of strengthening their standby playing second fiddle to powerful men, some learnt to use objectification and commoditization itself as strength to survive and command. Right from the days of Roman Empire women and slaves got their rights recognised only towards the fag end. Even in the modern world, many countries denied voting rights to women until the middle of the last century! It was during the world wars that European women got the opportunity to break the moulds and work in factories and then on, their emancipation hastened. Their societies also changed rapidly from prudish Victorian styles to the dismal modern.

In India, women were recognised for their mental faculties. Women like Gargi, Leelavati and others could break into men’s world so also the ancient Indian women during the Vedic period, were treated on par with men. Then with the foreign invasions, women’s lives nosedived and under the vast word ‘protection’ she was subjugated and her wings, clipped.

It is only in the last sixty or seventy years that women started receiving education and they slowly started entering job markets also. At first, only jobs requiring soft skills like teaching and nursing were open to her and now women are in all fields. Now women realise their real power is in education and financial independence!

After tasting success and financial empowerment in their chosen fields, women have started insisting on their rightful share and recognition in the society. THIS is where the conflict escalated. Now men had to acknowledge women as equals, this meant sharing the facilities they alone enjoyed AND men are not ready for this transition, as yet.

Women changed from their traditional roles but men are unwilling to change as they really know what it means to lose their territories, rights and also do the glorified domestic work! This is precisely where the domestic conflict begins.

Today’s women are tasting success like never before. What initially started as a fight for their rightful place in the society and gaining financial independence, has taken a huge leap and women are now asking for a share in public spaces also! So how does a man react? Domesticated men sometimes support their daughters while still controlling wives. They sometimes sympathise with women’s causes and are ready to share a little with women. But the rogues prefer to use physical power to intimidate women and they use the primary animal instincts to protect their freedom and space.

Women thoroughly brainwashed by the patriarchal system still choose to support men and disown their own daughters and sisters. I was surprised to hear that a well educated Christian friend of mine still believes to this day that women are made from the rib of a man; hence women are inferior to men!!!

On the flip side, a few modern young women are misusing some of the freedom they have gained. Their *dress sense and *lifestyle choices are making even their own sisters turn away in disgust! This once again is giving justification to men to seize controls. Senseless aping of western culture, scant regard for our own relationships is a very dangerous modern trend. Their motto is “Don’t judge; accept whatever we do.” My question to them is, “In what way are you better than those male chauvinists? Is this the definition/value you attach to women’s emancipation?”

My request to women is, be fair. Don’t throw away this hard-earned freedom, don’t forget those beautiful qualities which God bestowed upon you and lose your beautiful feminine side.

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Let both men and women compete with each other in goodness, empathy, caring and sharing. Together they can turn this world into heaven.

(* My intention is not to criticize and seek a high moral ground. I just want to draw the readers' attention to some of the oddities which are turning women, in general, more weaker and vulnerable.)

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Agree, dear Shravs. We have to be smarter and more tactful. Direct confrontation will not work.

 

Thanks, dear L.

 

Hi!
Thanks for your fb. You have brought up many issues.

I believe-
A lot depends on how we raise our children and what do we convey; verbally and non verbally. On many counts, boys are encouraged more by the families as well as the society. For a girl the growth curve is full of hurdles; hurdles begin with the biological changes and then she gets tormented because of the same biological aspects. An invisible glass ceiling and the bias in the professional world is the next hurdle. Today TOI has published an info graphic report that clearly shows how girls begin the race in academics well ahead of boys but the boys clearly overtake girls in later years, be it in academics or the professional life! As a society we have to introspect and study why this pattern repeats and take the required corrective steps. For that both the sexes should agree to work together without any ego.

While the parents often get busy trying to protect the girls, they fail to teach the girls how to protect themselves and the boys, not to transgress! A man's flirtation is celebrated, while a girl is slut shamed. In my opinion, women should not play into men's designs which limits them to their physical aspects alone. We have to move our attentions beyond the external beauty and work more on our mind and intellect. As a society, it is time we changed our attitudes and priorities. 'Respect each other' should be our motto.

 

Dear m,

This mentality of entitlement and low morals has to go. We as mothers of sons should instil in our sons a sense of responsibility and respect for all, including women. Thanks for the fb.