Materialistic life!!

Tuvila,

In your case materialism dosen't figure anywhere. What matters here is your DHs attitude. I think since your father is helping you financially your DH is taking it for granted.

It is just next to impossible that in 4 consecutive orgn he finds people who are not supportive. I don't know in which field your DH is, but being an HR person i can say that these days for any company the client comes first and then the employee so its hard to believe what your DH has to say.

 

but dear
if i speak practically you may not understand and may say that is not ethical and all
but society is not good we need to face everything

dont you remember even vasu deva (being father of lord krishna the incarnation of vishnu murthy) has to catch the legs of donkey at one point of time. isn't?
then he never felt bad about it dear.


see dear if i want to leave a job i can give so many excuses
but see its recession time and it happens
sometimes we need to face it and survive

also if you say they are hurting our self respect sure at some point they will punished
see they have bad reputation isn't?

this wont help you survive
but you will find some justification for the question you asked na?

cheers dear
:cheers

by the way even you can do a job na?

 

Don't blame your husband. You and your father are to be blamed. Your father is like Amudhasurabhi/AkshayaPatram for your husband. What incentive does he have to work when your father is taking care of the material needs? Changing 4 jobs in 6 years is not a good sign. I bet your husband would have stayed with the first job if your father hadn't doled out money whenever you asked for it. Ask your father to stop providing financial support. Yes, it may strain the relations but it will make your husband to stand on his own and think twice before quitting his job.

 

100% agree with Ajith. Only exception is, I think some of the blame belongs to your husband for being irresponsible. Regadless of the free money, where was his own work ethic?!? Even though your intentions were good, this problem is mostly your own doing. You've enabled your husband's irresponsible behavior.

Anyways, what Ajith said is what I also would have suggested. Tell your dad to cut off the money flow.

Take care.

 

Isn't your husband being the same as you? And you think that's bad?

Whats your excuse to have supported this nature of him?

Who made this decision?

what happened to your financial support from your parents?

Sorry, but there's nothing to be proud about. I wouldn't blame anyone for this mess other than YOU. Your parents - it was your choice to ask them. YOU did it. Your husband - it was your choice to make him understand or prove how his job jumps is hurting you as a family. YOU rode the free ride on your father's money then.

 

i allowed him to resign if he was not happy in his job.And this continued in every company.

I may sound rude here but you let him do it the first time and the second time . That set a pattern and he didnt feel guilty. We women have more responsibility to see to it that no such hasty decisions are done in marriage. This is true especially if our husbands are challenged with regards to finance, personal relationships and any small and big thing in marriage.We need to keep them roped in to REALITY. Here it is you in picture. And partly one more fault wud be that he was not BURDENED with family expenses with repeated job changes.Yes, I call it burdened becoz he needs to realize his responsibility of having a family.

Now is also not too late.You can have your parents show cold shoulder to him and tell him to take responsibility.They also need to stop giving you support for some time. Its all for good . Initially it will be lot of angry outbursts name calling all such things. But it will also make your husband give up his old ways.

Besides,Nobody at work place is obligated to treat co workers as the other person wants. Thats why its called work.I have seen many senior people offer a cup a coffee to their seniors in some meetings. Does that make them peons. Definitely not. The situation calls for that work.Within reasonable limit doing a junior's work is not something to be ashamed of.

Insist and be firm with your husband that he becomes the man of the house and take responsibility and do the right thing. You shud assert your role as an aggressive wife , take control and drive him to do the right thing.Help him find a job and make him stick to him and not let him give excuses for job environment.Turn cold when he does and tell him he needs to stick to the job period. Good Luck.

 

Your father's instinct is to maintain the same lifestyle you had before marriage, and he figured giving you (yes you) and your hubby money would help. It made things worse.

If he keeps resigning, obviously, there is an issue. At times you have to do menial work, even when its beneath you. Did he expect to be pampered at work? I don't get it!

I see that you are from a well educated family, didn't mention anything about you? Do you work? Just a question, because its the responsibility of both partners to provide for the family. Maybe as your husband sorts things out, you can pick up the pace and work for a bit, and there is nothing wrong with the wife bringing home the bacon.

 

I say that all of 3 of you are at fault!! Your father, for doling out money to his SIL whenever required, You, (1)for accepting the same from your dad and (2) Blindly listening to what your hubby is saying without validating yourself.
And finally, your hubby - I see something drastically wrong in someone who has changed 4 jobs in 6 years. He seems to have a very high opinion of himself, and very high expectations from others - and this is definitely not acceptable at the workplace. People will get work based on the tasks that are available/pending, and secondly, on the capability of the employee. It is very probable that while your hubby thinks highly of himself, the same is not the impression of his boss(es). His bosses probably think he is capable of only the work that he is getting. One boss may be wrong, 2 may be wrong, but not ALL the bosses, ALL the time.

Another point to note is that, in an organisation, the company does not gain anything by making a senior person do a junior person's work. It simply does not make sense or profit to the company since they would never pay somebody a senior's salary(going by the designation), while making him do a junior's tasks. If a company did that all the time, soon it would be out of business!!