Marriage

asrikandath · Jan 6, 2012

Marriage…….your concept or definition of marriage changes with time. In your teens it is all about a prince charming in a black robe whisking you away in his black stallion and they live happily ever after.

You reach your 20 s and you marry either the prince charming of your dreams or Mr Perfect chosen by your parents. Be it prince charming or Mr Perfect , in your 20 s marriage is love and romance. The first three -four years of marriage, the biggest event of your life is birthdays and anniversaries. Forgetting your birthday is the biggest crime that your husband can commit. A silent cold war persists; pillow acts as a wall to separate you from each other. This continues for maybe a week. Slowly the pillow disappears and you finally patch up in bed.

Early thirties and you realize that marriage is not just love and romance. Saddled with two kids you hardly get time to even give each other a hug. Your life is a constant strife moving from pediatricians to teachers. By late thirties you get time to think about what marriage means. Realization dawns upon you that marriage is nothing but a compromise and it s always you who had to compromise. You both agree to disagree on issues. No more week long silent wars, pillows no longer serve as barriers .Things are normal even after an argument.

And then you reach your forties. Then you realize that marriage is not just a compromise, it is commitment trust and respect for each other. You remind your husband about your birthday, buy your gift yourself using his credit card, and repent over the years you wasted thinking that he would buy a gift for you. Yes you are now a smarter female. You are happy, he is happy and you think why didn't I do this earlier?

You approach fifties and then you realize that marriage is more than all this. It is companionship, trust, commitment and respect for each other. Your children leave to build their own nests. Your parents are now too aged to give you any moral support .You realize that your partner is your only companion who stands by you in good and bad times. Your spouse becomes a habit for you. You don't need to have a verbal conversation to understand what s going on in your partner’s mind. Birthdays and anniversaries hardly matter to you. You enjoy the silence between the two of you. Words no longer are needed to convey the thoughts to each other. You hardly talk to each other but you miss him if he s not at home. You enjoy each other s presence though there is less verbal communication. You realize that your partner had always loved you in his own way.

Strange isn't it. One can hardly make a youngster understand this. Each person has to experience the various phases of marriage to realize this truth.

nowhere · Jan 6, 2012

Great post. The extent of compromise makes or breaks the relationship. Not everyone gets to see the later phases of married life.

satchitananda · Jan 6, 2012

Hi, very interesting and timely post. We all know these facts only too well, but still need a reminder from time to time. :-D

glascobaby · Jan 6, 2012

Hello Srikan Truly well-penned....loved to read

In my view Marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman. This "SHIP" requires a lifetime commitment of emotional, physical and sprititual resources from both the ends.Depending on the level of dedication and engagement each spouse gives, the relationship has the potential to blossom into something truly great. The wedding is just only the beginning, the planting of the marraige but a lot more into nourishing the relationship.Yes, it requires love, patience, kindness, respect, honesty, forgiveness, etc. Your marriage will thrive and grow when it's lovingly tended to in this manner.

A long before, I have read a book on Marraige Stages and thats truly impressed me and thought me so much too

whiteorchid · Jan 6, 2012

Hi ! It was a lovely post to read ! i have got married recently so still in loving phase but ur post has made me realize that even if u have compromise a little it is worth doing to be with the person u love!
i am seeing the beautiful dawn in our life together n hope n pray that god gives us both strength to be with each other when the sun sets in our life