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Marriage woes

Discussion in 'Parents & Siblings' started by shilpases, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. shilpases

    shilpases Senior IL'ite

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    Hi everybody ...

    I had an arranged marriage about a year and a half ago... so far everything has worked out well for me. Now my parents want to get my sister married too. Here is the snag ... Sis is going to turn 22 this year. she does not want to get married now... she says she needs more time and stuff ..but the real reason is that she cant get over someone that she fell in love with when she was in high school. she said she tries to forget him but she does not have the will power to do it. My parents will not willingly get her married to this guy. He is not form the same religion. They now want to look for someone but she is opposing it totally and now my parents are telling me to convince her to agree to get married and my sister is telling me to convince my parents that she does nto want to get married ... What do I do ?
     
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  2. Sugzy

    Sugzy New IL'ite

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    I think your sister has the right idea. She doesn't want to hurt your parents by marrying a person that tey dont approve of. But she is also right in insisting on not marrying someone else while she is not over the first person, because not only will she be unhappy in that sort of marriage, its unfair to the guy she will be getting married to as well. I think you need to have a calm composed talk to your parents about giving your sister a little bit of time. Tell them that she has already shown great respect for their feelings by not defying them and getting married to the guy she likes. And they should show her the same respect by understanding that it is not possible for her to switch off all feelings for this person and get married to another. Try to reason with them that the end result of a marriage is happiness, and if your sister jumps into one unprepared and unwilling, it will not make for an easy or happy situation for anyone.

    Try to remain very calm and collected. And not appear biased. You are her older sister, you owe it to her to bridge the gap between her and your parents. I do this all the time!
     
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  3. bukbuk

    bukbuk Silver IL'ite

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    22 is too early, IMO. Your sis doesn't seem like she's out of her adolescence yet(eg. She's still brooding over a high school crush). Pls guide her to settle down in career.25 is an ideal ideal age for girls to get married.
     
  4. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    I second bukbuk..25-27 is when the final growth of brain is completed...the part that facilitates maturity and the ability to adapt well to conflicts. Let her study more or work and get a life outside of your home.
     
  5. shilpases

    shilpases Senior IL'ite

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    Well my parents think that its too late at 25 ...thats the whole problem ....
     
  6. Sugzy

    Sugzy New IL'ite

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    Thats exactly why I think you need to approach it not from an age or time bound point of view but from a more abstract "some more time" point of view.
     
  7. shilpases

    shilpases Senior IL'ite

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    Thanks ...Im going to try that :)
     

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