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Marriage:Love & Arranged

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cheer, Nov 7, 2006.

  1. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Dont get annoyed

    It is always better to raise a hand for your choice for the list of options given by your father. He would have analysed each and every person before letting you know it.:) ur way thru what has happened. Cheerup young lady there is lots to come.

    RajmiArun
     
  2. ramya_psk

    ramya_psk Senior IL'ite

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    arranged marriage

    hi sundhari,
    i feel u should not stick to the same horoscope.If he doesnt have the manners to reply u back jus drop him and find some other alliance.Try to give ur horoscope to ur relatives such that u get a good one .Put ur burden to god and be happy
    tx
    ramya
     
  3. sangeeta

    sangeeta New IL'ite

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    How to select my future life partner?

    Hi...all u wise ladies at IL

    I am supposed to select a husband for myself......i need ur advise desperately!!!!!!!!!!
    I cannot make out anything just by viewing marriage portals or by seeing snaps and bio-data's of guys!
    Talking to the guy is important, but for how much time ?
    I am almost at the verge of telling my family that since i am tired of all this searching n confusion, am ready to get married to whomever they want.....is that clever or stupid?
    Ladies, please help me out!!!!!!!!
    :confused:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 28, 2006
  4. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Hai Sangeetha,
    my my, you are calling all of us wise. But nobody can be wise in many things in life. One is marriage. It seems that your parents are very progressive and has asked you to look for your partner yourself. If you are at a loss, you could hand over the task to them. I do not about this new way of selecting from portals. But here in Tamilnadu, Kalyaana maalai is doing this work genuinely, I suppose. You can try their portal also- www.kalyaanamaalai.com
    Most marriages in my family were arranged ones. Some of my friends had love marriages, inside the community itself and so they all seem to be happy only.
    But marriage is a gamble, a lottery. Nobody can guess which is better, arranged marriage or love marriage or net marriage.
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2006
  5. honeybee

    honeybee Gold IL'ite

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    Hi sangeetha
    All set to enter the new world of marriage?
    ALL THE BEST!!!
    It's really sweet of your parents to give you freedom to choose your life partner.If you are not sure about/or confident enough to choose your partner yourself entrust the job to your parents.They will do a thorough job.This is my honest opinion.
    Believe me.. they know best.I had an arranged marriage and am very happy.

    Regards
    Sowmya
     
  6. charu

    charu New IL'ite

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    u r lucky ur dad has given u the permission to choose ur own life partner but for me i have to go by my parents words so think how lucky ur.
    so dont b sad thr are more people who are mre sadder then u.

    luv,

    charu
     
  7. charu

    charu New IL'ite

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    hi,

    can u tell me more about u.

    charu
     
  8. Sundhari Thevar

    Sundhari Thevar New IL'ite

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    Hey Charu,

    I am basically from Bangalore and I am working here as a team leader..
    Dad is from Thirelnelveli..but we are settled in bangalore..I did my graduation here ..

    Fun loving...honest and trustworthy..

    What else ..!!!

    Take care

    Love
    Sundhari Thevar
     
  9. gayathriar

    gayathriar Bronze IL'ite

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    I agree with most of you that a successful marriage takes two people to work, no matter whether it is love or arranged.

    For a marriage to work it is not just the 'who' that is involved. If it was just the 'who' factor, then no love marriage will fail - but that is not true.

    But still people get so wrapped up in just whom they want to get married. One of my friends( a very accomplished doctor) married a guy from another religion. She got married with parent's consent after a lot of initial resistance. She is a happily married mother today. But, to this day, she regrets putting her parents through the stress that comes with the bond involving families from two different religions and thinks it is not worth it. Though she is happily married and loves her husband, she advices to not go through this kind of stress.

    Looking at friends and co-workers go through such stressful times, I always wonder why people do this to themselves - is it because they think only with their heart and not head, or are they not capable of doing a risk analysis prior to 'getting involved'.

    The present day arranged marriages are definitely not like that of our grand-mothers or mothers, where the girls did not have/had limited say. If the parents are willing to and are capable of finding a potential compatible partner and both the girl and the boy have a say in it - why not have the best of both the worlds? That's my two cents!!
     
  10. leelal

    leelal Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi,

    My 2 cents worth views on this topic...

    Though Love marriages across country/region/religion/caste are on the rise (Which is welcome trend), general opinion is that Arranged Marriages helps the couple to earn new set of relatives/friends from each other family. Love marriages lose this chance and at times even loses the existing relationships.
    Indian Government has started supporting intercaste marriages through love/arranged mode. (I was surprised to see there was an ad in Hindu/Economic Times last week encouraging non-caste/religion based marriage), but still most of the parent's mind/views cannot be changed overnight. This would take some more time for voluntarily accepting the inter-caste/religion marriages.

    Earning new set of relatives/friends through marriage are supportive for any success/failure of the couple's life. In Love Marriages, the couple alone are totally own their life and responsible.

    India is one country where the rest of the world looks upon for the successrate of long married life. India scores high on this aspect.
    Even having said all these, in India recently the divorce rates are on the rise compared to the previous generation. what could be the root cause of the increase in divorce rates?
    - Women education and awareness.
    - Women become more financially independant and have the freedom to come of a family if the situation does not suit her.
    - Change in culture and life style as more westernization culture is followed.
    - Favourable legal policies
    - Not matching with Men's expectations
    - Lack of trust between the couple.
    - More choices in life

    Which marriages (Love/Arranged) contribute to the increase in divorce rate?
    Definitely a close introspection is needed on monitoring the divorce rate.
     

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