Marriage and Emotional Needs - A Reverse Example

sushma rare jewel is still cute to fight !!!!after all loving is the rare gift given by GOD tht she has been so purely and clearly used it for the service of mankind.But sushma at the time when she thought she ws exhausted cos of her over strainous work for her parents need to have adopted a gud maid not an husband(if she had purely thought her gift is only fo rmanking).marraige =physical ecstasy shud not bother sushma if she were matured enough along the way thru her life...wht she needs is not marriage but just a day out....if she really longed to pray her love or be loved then the thought of her marriage wud have been identified long back when she had been the sweet 16....grt after all marriage and emotional needs doesnt really have to go hadn in hand for few people....but still if u insist u may find one...the real soul mate....:-(

 

Re: Nice Post, Purnima!

To Varlotti, Hi !

Today, somehow I am not agreeing to your reply to Purnima. I do not agree ' that plan your marriage by 24'. I believe marriages are made in heaven and are bound to happen when HE wishes. Every girl starts making her marriage plans (or dreams her marriage plans, partner, family, house etc etc) no moment she completes her graduation and is on her own feet. Some openly tell or some keep it to themselves. But when the plan does not work as per their wishes, forget the aspirations of her would be, or family or etc, when marriage itslef does not happen, her friend circle diminishing with one by one getting married and she just left alone in the market waiting for the bus? Oh! its so much of frustration and anger and hopelessness and what not. You know you are not less anywhere there are so many canditates waiting for you, eligble, worthy but somehow nothing clicks, its horrible phase of life.
So i would say here, yes sushma might have missed the bus, but if she might have attempted to climb anyone of them, might be if HE has thought the other way round she might have still not been able to climb the bus. And ofcourse at some point of time she will do and that time baldy, widower or etc will not matter because that is what HE wanted her to accept and thats why so many hardships for the most eligible woman.
And rightly said in Hindi, 'Shadi ke laddoo khaye to pachtaye, nahi khaye to bhi pachtaye, so khake pachtao'. Be ready for it, cant say I will not marry till I am 27 or cant say i shall marry at the right age of 21-24.
Thats what I feel and have experienced. I may be wrong.

Regards
Swati

 

hello sridhar,
a wonderfull starting, when i started reading the story i felt that every women before marriage leads a carefree life and after marriage they have to follow the rules of the married family why i am saying this bcoz i have expierienced same like shalini. hope her father-in-law changes and he leave up to them bcoz its totally there life. they have rights to live according to them. waiting to read the up coming episodes.
regards,
shilpavenkat

 

As a Desi-American I noticed when I visit my family in India that they consider 40 to be "old". That is very strange to me because here one is just getting started at 40 and 40 is considered "hot".

That is why I don't like what you wrote above, please forgive me, but a woman at 40 is at her sexual peak. You make it sound like she is a wither up old leaf.

All the women I know in their 40s are sexy as hell.

Sushma should just relocate to a country that will appreciate her.

 

A Reverse (of your Example) - Early marriage

Dear Varalotti,
I am new to the forum, and i stumbled upon your thread as i was browsing through. Very interesting and of course controversial posts, indeed.The very first post i read is the "Fortunately Unfortunatly unmarried Sushma".
Just ramblings, dont mind please.
I got to agree with others, that Marriage is a good institution, myself being married for nearly 7 years now. But i guess, my case is just the opposite of Sushma's.I was married very young, didn't even turn 18 during my marriage.I was always a easy-go happy person and i never cry uncle, so i took it as a challenge(Marriage, as a challenge????)Yes, thats how it turned out to be for me. I had to go to my college, manage house-hold activities, be in the family circle, .....on and on it went! God , It was really a trial period for me. But given the choice, i would have probably ended up like Sushma. But GOD, had other things in store for me. But i am very happy to say that, i have had a blissful marriage till date and hope till death-do-us-part.
The controversy, i suppose, is not about getting married at all. But WHEN?It's what matter's in most of our life's. I am a strong believer of culture and ethics, so, there should be some reason, why they married early. Mind you, I am not talking about very early here,only early twenties, although which has now become, late twenties.
As the saying goes, "strike while the iron is hot" , it hold good for any decisions or situation in our life.
Its my personal perception that, when we marry at the right age (or probably at 21 and so says the Auto Rickshaws in TN), We dont have any pre-assumptions or expectations, about what we want. And even if we have those, and we end up dont getting it, we learn to adjust, which we can't do at the ripe age. We learn the best of characters and attitudes: to forgive and forget, to help each other, to adjust, to share, and what not.
Marriage Depends on two things :
1. Finding the right person 2. Being the right person
So, all we have to do is be the right person, and we get the right person!
And thanks varalotti, i took a stroll down the memory lane, after reading your post.
It's was nice to look back and realise, i have got the best of things in life by His Grace.
And i hope to any Sushma's out there, will have their share of bliss in life before its too late.
"Better Late, Than Never!"

 

Hi Sridhar sir,

Its very nice of you to bring Sushma's situation to this forum. I am very much moved by her current situation. This is the very first time I have personally felt sorry for ladies like Sushma where they have made their Life a challenge.
We can't help for what has happened to her. But now we can atleast take some action that is limited in our hands. If we provide bit of support, we may be able to make her life more cheerful. What we can do now is to help her getting a suitable alliance.?

Sir, can you please send me a PM regd her choice on religion, community, education and family? I am not guaranteeing a response, but definitely I will check it out through my circle whether there is any possibility.

(We had an experience of fixing couple of our close friend's alliances in Bangalore with very few meetings with the prospects.. They are also leading a very happy married life... So in our opinion, we do not stay from such risks...of interacting with new families )

 

Hi Sridhar Sir,

Thank You for the encouragement and anticipating Sushma's details soon.

In my opionion, this is not a NUKE-DEAL between india vs US where we have to come to a consensus through all political parties. Neither its any complex scientiffic innovation where lots of brainee think tanks are required. But I can see it as a main subject of one person's life. I see it as a result of networking and passing few clues through networking. If both parties like and their expectations are met, we have just played a catalyst to bond them.

Hope to see success in Sushma's marriage and am more optimistic.

Thanks and Regards,