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Managing House Hold Chores And Toddler Alone

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by shwetapj, Dec 3, 2017.

  1. shwetapj

    shwetapj Silver IL'ite

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    ho ladies

    This message is not a complain as such but a query which is bothering me for quite some time. I am managing cooking and household chores with a toddler alone. My hubby is there in the morning when I finish cooking by 9am but rest of the day till night it's just me and my baby. She is 14 months old. I am completing the rest of my chores like cleaning the platform and vessels I do without any issues. My daughter is very sweet and cooperative. She sits quietly till I finish my cooking and cleaning watching me.
    The society where we live, here every kid from an infant of few weeks to 12 years old kids have a nanny. They just run behind them feeding them their snacks and fruits, carrying their bags with bat, ball, dolls and what not. Many of the moms are advising me to keep a nanny for the toddler as it is difficult to manage when they start running around. I have been searching for a good nanny for her but unfortunately I couldn't find any good match :(
    As for now I am not having even a single minute to catch up as "me time" for me as I am doing all by my self including potty training, feeding, cleaning , bathing and taking her to the park and all.
    My daughter is very much attached to me and her father. She just loves to kiss me and be close to be which I am enjoying this kind of attention. Since her birth neither of our relatives bothered to visit us to spend time with my baby. Hence there is No one in her life except me and my hubby. And I am planning to put her to a play school when she turns 18-20 months.
    My query is it really necessary to hire a nanny? I am of the opinion that nanny can only take care of the kids but the family values and manners and other good things are only taught by parents. I am one of those lucky mom who is a stay at home mom and personally supervise my daughter so that she grows up into a good human being.

    It is an overwhelming thing for me at the end of the day as I am dead tired in the night but there is a feeling of satisfaction of doing everything

    How many of you are doing the same thing that is taking care of the toddler alone without the help of nanny or anyone at home? Are there any disadvantages with this kind of upbringing ?

    Is there any harm in bringing up my child alone when her father is busy with his business and hardly manages to spend time with us? Please advise
     
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  2. chasingdreams

    chasingdreams Bronze IL'ite

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    @shwetapj
    I am sailing in the same boat as you are. I am managing my 2 year old all by myself.Since we do not live in india, there are no relatives around as well. Its overwhelming at times because my kid is super naughty. He drags the chair around and tries to climb on cupboards an shelves. Pulls things down and keeps messing up the home. If i give him water to drink, he will pour it on the floor and later slip and fall himself. The list is endless. and am exhausted at the end of the day. I cannot remember the last time I went out by myself or spent some quality me-time. Ofcourse I get some time when he naps. But I usually utilize it to learn something online or apply for jobs.
    I wish my kid had cousins around to play with ,like I did. I sometimes feel like he is starved for company of his age. But I am doing the best I can given the circumstances. So far he is doing fine. he is not socially awkward and is cheerful & happy most of the time. Hopefully he will make friends of his own once he starts school.
    I am not sure of the disadvantages and harm cos only time will tell.
    But I am positive that kids grow up too soon and I will miss his sweet kisses and cuddles in future.So I am savoring all of it now. How lucky are we that we get to spend so much time with our kids when they are growing up...
     
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  3. MonikaSG

    MonikaSG Platinum IL'ite

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    I am doing this with 2 kids and both of them are too naughty. I have some help from my mil and also from the people around. But that's just for sometime.
     
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  4. shwetapj

    shwetapj Silver IL'ite

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    Hi

    Did you start him with play school ?
     
  5. shwetapj

    shwetapj Silver IL'ite

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    Hi @chasingdreams

    Did you start your son with play school

     
  6. aspha

    aspha Gold IL'ite

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    I am doing this all alone from last 4 years with now addition of baby#2 who is 10 months old. To be honest, I really feel with little time management we can really handle it well without outside help. My routine for past 4 years is I wake up at around 5-5.30 take shower and finish with cooking. By 7.00 I am done with cooking and cleaning. Then my son wakes up. My DH does his morning routine. By 8.30 both leave for office and school. On my son's off day we go to library, nearby mall, etc.

    Fortunately my 10 month old started sleeping through the night at 7 month mark which is a blessing. In US, you will find so many people doing it all by themselves and just doing fine. Not everyone can afford a nanny or baby sitter. My "me time" is when my kids nap in the afternoon. In that time I meal prep for the evening and next day along with watching some shows or just having chat with my friends and family in India.

    I don't see any kind of disadvantage in bringing up kids all by ourselves. In fact I feel we eventually become role-models for them to think "no job is small" and efficient way of preaching self-reliance. Plus, in today's day and age I just cant trust my kids with an complete stranger.

    Things start getting better as they grow-up and find their independence. Enjoy it until lasts.
     
  7. fourthaugust

    fourthaugust Gold IL'ite

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    Just like the above poster, I am also managing two kids on my own. Elder one goes to school and younger one is one year old very naughty and not keeping well for quite some times( recurring infections , cold etc). Hubby goes early and comes in the evening. But to my surprise we do get Time to spend together in the evening. I have scheduled kids time such that they slepp by eight o clock max in the evening.and I get free time for good two hours. So I get some me time and couple time both in the evening.
    I think it all depends on how you manage your time. I list out everything one day advance whether what to cook, what to do( like cleaning bathroom, laundry) thing that I do only once or twice a week.
    Sorting out menu for a week during the weekend .
    I take my kids to the park daily so its refreshing even for me. I don't get time to exercise so household chores in a way are blessings and have reduced weight too. I my at my pre pregnancy weight now. And also playing and chatting with both my kids gives menextra energy as I feel so complete in their company. Off course there are days when I do feel tired and cranky but I just count my blessings then and move on.
    So manage your time properly and enjoy your kids babyhood while it lasts. They do grow up so fast.
     
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  8. brahan

    brahan Platinum IL'ite

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    Shweta,

    Nanny is absolutely not required. I would suggest in this case if you can have a maid to help you in activities such as vessels, house cleaning so that physically ur not exhausted. Just hang in there for few more months. Once they start going to play school you will have some time for relaxation .

    Remember your little one is not little alwaysand NO ONE CAN EVER REPLACE A MOM
     
  9. chasingdreams

    chasingdreams Bronze IL'ite

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    Nope. Will send him for couple of hours per day after 6-7 months.
     
  10. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    OP I really appreciate how you want to bring up your toddler on your own during initial times..the kind of care n concern a mom give, no one can..definitely not third person like nanny..
    Instead of nanny u can instead invest in hiring help for cleaning and cooking work..can purchase chapatis from outside of that facility is there in your locality..then you can concentrate on the child without being over burdened..
    If u get proper sleep and me time u will feel refreshed and will have more time n energy for your child.
     
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