Managing Family With Maid Along With School Goer Children

dhivyacc · Jan 10, 2018

Hi Everyone...

Am back with some queries related to maintaining maids.

My elder one is doing 4th std and younger is in UKG.

We live as a nuclear family both working in IT. To help us we get some live-in maids from our hometown.with the help of parents

Some persons suits and some dint.

This time got a muslim lady and she will be joining this week.

Earlier we managed in such a way that half of cooking will be done by maid as my elder one needs to leave 7AM from home.

lots of ups and downs and mismatches...but we need some person at home to pick them up and in case of holidays...
my only concern is to pick the children up from school bus in the afternoon /evening. and they need some accompany @home after 4.
along with that household cleaning works etc can be done i believe. this is how we managed ...

the previous maid left because her parents are not well. so to take care she left.
So temporarily i put them in day care elder one will finish the school and come to day care . Younger one also studying ukg in that playschool only so he ll continue there too up to 7. the households we are managing everything but it is literally tough only. few days my elder one came home @4 pm alone and slept...

Now some how my parents got her and she said ok to come to chennai please give some thoughts on managing them.

My spouse and parents are telling me that get most of the work done by them. I try the same with everyone, but at some point, some of the problem comes...such that they dont speak, they update the things to spouse and not to me...
Treat both the children in different way, like taking care of one who obeys them and leaving other one alone. like that....

I dont want such things to happen with this person also..
if there any threads just point me there

Swethasri · Jan 10, 2018

Very easy and one solution solves all the problems!!! Quit your job. Both your kids NEED you. Period.

Sandycandy · Jan 10, 2018

Just wanted to say I hope you pay your “maids “really well . Managing two kids and household cleaning and cooking (?) is no joke.
I would personally prefer kids in a daycare with other kids than at home alone at the mercy of one individual .

GoneGirl · Jan 10, 2018

I would say treat them with respect and compensate them well, probably the key to having a good working relationship.
I wouldn’t have the maid do most of the work as others advise you, may drive them away if you do.. Have a manageable set of chores and do not overburden them.

ashneys · Jan 10, 2018

Since your older one is a 4th grader, he should be around 9 which is a good age to ask him to keep the younger one busy or play together n also basic care like communicating to the help about his needs. So ask him for his help with the younger one. He may feel all good about it too.

In regards to help, first try her out n see how good or bad she is.

Maybe she can do cooking n baby sitting or cleaning n baby sitting. Depending on that, hire another part timer, like a maid who can come in for an hour / two to just clean, mop, etc or a cook who cooks all meals n leaves.

Your help can take care when the part timer doesn't show or whenever required.

Give her break time, make sure she gets good sleep or she's gona be cranky to take care of the kids.

Or speak of a better salary to do everything n see if she can actually manage it.

Treat them with respect, no yelling at all, feed them well. But be strict (through communication- no yelling or face showing) if you feel something is off.

N better don't get one person to do "everything" especially when it involves baby sitting younger children.

If you try to get a 'deal' out of helps like this, most probably they will leave soon saying one or the other reason n find work somewhere else. Or some work is gona get neglected.

My mother always had multiple live-in help, so had seen them through out my life, just a little consideration can go a long way n they always stick with her for years. So shared a few pointers from that. Hope it helps.

dhivyacc · Jan 11, 2018

Thank you everyone.
I could see that all points are valid and useful.
Somehow today she joined ... and she is very friendly only..
Cooking means - i wont give the entire work, cutting the veggies +rice and rasam like that.
Based on what the children are asking , accordingly i will cook for them and pack the boxes.
morning we(me and spouse )/ I will take care of all the works related to children and will drop them in their respective schools and will leave to office.

Evening our in-house maid , she will pick them from bus stop and the younger one from daycare (1-4 i put in daycare , his school over by 1) . so both of them , once reached home , will have some milk+/snacks.
And everyone refreshed, i asked her to prepare dinner(mostly it will be tiffin only) for everyone.

Washing machine we will load it - fully auto -so no need of rinsing and all - once it is over i asked her to dry it and fold.

we follow certain schedule like a day one work like that .. during washing day , there wont be moping. if house cleaning , everyone will work on that day either this or that work.

at initial stage , paying 8k alongwith food and accomodation

Pls let me know the thoughts....

diamond1880 · Jan 12, 2018

In house maid is not advisable at all, which city do u live in?? i really doubt if they's come for 8 k for all the work you stating
1)put both you kids in daycare till 7, is it mandatory you need to bring them back by 4
2)get a maid who wud do all your house hold work, cutting veggies, drying cloths, making rotis, mopping etc
3)get the maid to clean to do the cleaning on saturday's when you are at home
4)most daycares run when there are holidays, one off days either u or ur spouse can take off or wfh just that day

believe me it cost effective and hassel free business, and most importantly kids are safe

dhivyacc · Jan 12, 2018

I live in Chennai only.
From our nearby hometown village.

dhivyacc · Jan 12, 2018

Since both are working, sometimes its becoming late like more than 7PM also...
Moreover, my spouse use to come around 11 sometimes he needs to stay eve very late too...
Also, when i asked my children, they prefer to be at home rather than day care...

Apart from this, i dint mean we never touch single piece of work... only partial dishes will be done by maid.
I had maids from chennai earlier... but had some bad experiences...

my spouse frequently travels to hometown , he never miss any of his relatives even if it is a small thing. so by managing all alone , i got frustrated. if i want to buy anything, that time also i was in need of some1 at home.
If i cant come / coming late, then also i was tensed ,
both my parents /in-laws are unable to come and stay in long run...
thats the reason i prefer a live-in maid..i also feel like it affects our privacy.
Moreover, i will think and come that the food will be ready, but due to some or other reasons , there will be other issues...
passing the days like this only.

Needtobestrong · Jan 12, 2018

Op just see how things go..if your maid is able to manage everything efficiently well n good...if u feel that she is over burdened with house and cooking work and unable to give attention to kids u can always hire a part time maid for either cleaning or for simple cooking one time..
Or manage the time efficiently..
Load clothes in machine in the morning, after she comes she can dry the clothes..make breakfast coffee tea etc in the morning..your maid can prepare simple meal which can be used for lunch as well as dinner...I.e rotis and sabji, or sambhar rasam with sabji and rice..then dinner u just need to keep little rice or few rotis extra..
Evening after picking up kids from school she can fold clothes while looking after kids..
Cleaning work to be done during any convenient time..
Else u can get a maid just for sweeping and mopping in early morning ..so even if ur full time maid takes leave u won't be left stranded, u can get cleaning work done by that part time maid..
Let the maid sleep for an hour in the afternoon , she will feel fresh n relaxed..
Weekend u can look after the kids and let her do pending household chores, like laundry, dusting, cutting extra veggies and storing in fridge to be used for weekdays..maybe preparing Idly dosa batter , or some home made masalas or powders etc..