Mamma We Are Scared

Michael started his day with his tiny little set of lips making an oval as he yawned and eyes smiled as he looked at his mom trying to wake him up. Gracie’s heart ached to wake him up from his deep sleep. May be she disturbed his dream of him seeing lightening Mc Queen racing with Finn Mc Missile. May be she spoilt his mission of launching a rocket in which he plans to carry loads of lollies and tons of cheese – all while he was cosy in his warm bed. She looked at him and he smiled at her saying, “Good morning mamma”. He spread his little soft arms and gave her the “biggest hug in the world”. She did not want to leave him. He ran to his dad and snuggled in dad’s blanket. When Gracie went to check on him, she saw both dad and son were under the blanket trying to pretend that they did not notice her. In the meantime, her daughter came up to her, gave her another “biggest and sweetest hug in the whole wide world” and wished her good morning – just the way a pre-teen would wish.

Her daughter said that she finished her morning rituals of brush, wash etc., and is ready for breakfast. Gracie looked at the watch it was 6:45 am, ,she had exactly an hour to get Mike ready to school, give breakfast for kids and make coffee+breakfast for Raj and herself and then leave to work. Her daughter offered to help her with breakfast and morning rush because she had school holidays hence no rush for her stuff to be done. Gracie still remembered how much her daughter used to fuss to get up early and get dressed. Now she’s become so independent.

While she was getting the breakfast ready for kids, they both were talking among themselves and laughing at some joke. That laughter was such a beautiful music to start the day with. She was sure she was going to miss her kids while she was at work. She kissed them both and said, “You know what? Mamma loves you so much”. They both smiled and said “love you too mamma”.

While she was getting dressed, Raj woke up, wished her good morning and began to get ready for work. Suddenly kids started fighting over a petty issue. So to divert them, she started talking about their upcoming Indian holiday for Christmas. Kids shared their ideas as to what to buy for whom and what to do while in India, what to eat, where to eat, whom to visit etc. Suddenly Michael said “I don’t want to go to India” and began to cry. She knew this was coming up because it was his day to attend preschool and every time he has to go to preschool he cries. But she knew it’s just the starting trouble and he’d be perfectly okay once he is there and sees his friends.

So she asked him why he does not want to visit India because he was very excited to go to India and see lots of things there. After 5 minutes, both the kids stared to give their reasons for not wanting to visit India. Michael said, “The thing is I cannot speak my mother tongue well. I can only speak little sentences. I know people make fun of my language. I know I am not in big school like many of my cousins who are of my age. I don’t like to be asked why I am not in big school. I don’t want anyone to ask me to read/write as much as my cousins do in India, because I cannot and it hurts me. So I don’t want to go to India”

Her daughter said, “Mamma, people say that my hair is short. They say that though I live abroad my complexion is not fair. They would comment on my accent. I am worried because I would be forced to wear clothes that I would not be comfortable in. Mamma I am not sure how do I tell you but what Mike said is right, we are not very sure if we would be accepted the way we are and it scares me a little to go to India.”

"mamma, its not that we dont speak our language at all, we do ! but its that we cannot speak as fluently as the rest of the family. And when we are judged for that, it hurts us because we are trying to improve but that is not noticed at all."

Her choice of words amazed Gracie. She observed that her daughter spoke clearly and without any hesitation, yet she was not rude but was trying to explain their fears so well.

That’s when it struck Gracie how hard it must be for the kids to when we force them to learn something and then expect them to give their best shot at every possible thing and how the judgemental attitude effects the childhood. Instead of being able to enjoy their time with cousins her kids are “scared” what all they would have to face in their “home” country.

Tears in her kids’ eye broke her heart. She was about to cry and exactly at that point, came in her husband - All dressed up and as handsome as he was when she first met him 15 years back! He looked at her and she understood he was waiting for coffee – he said “let me handle this with kids, let’s have some coffee now”

She knew kids were with the right person at the right time for the right thing. While she was making coffee she overheard him talking to kids, “If anyone, young or old, male or female, comments you for anything, hair, clothes, language, accent, food, whatever – just come to mamma or me and tell us the truth – what exactly happened. And trust us that we will take of that person.”

That was it. The kids were all smiles, though Michael has some questions like “what if the plane crashes, what if I don’t like the food on the plane, what if I am lost in the airport, will you let me have my own cabin suitcase that I can drag on my own… … … endless list.

Her daughter had a smile on her face when she walked into kitchen and said “mamma, dad said he’d take of the person who hurts us."

“Is it? That’s great!”

“But I know mamma, if you get to know that someone hurt us or harmed us without our fault you’d skin them alive, because you love us so much”

She hugged her daughter, waved the guys good bye and rushed to catch the bus because it was exactly 7:45 am

 

Thanks Suja.