Malathi And Her Mother-in-law - A Real Life Story!

YM my dad is one of those spineless men. He is truely like shiva of this story. My dad is a very good human,he is very hard working, he has many chronic ailments. Our family is doing very good because of his efforts. He is in his 60s badly sick but still more energetic then me and my brother. He is a very spiritual person. He says there is God in every human. When my dad was in his teens my dads elder brothers made a plan to murder him to get his share of property, but my dad has been still very kind to them. But I do not know where his kindness went when it came to my mom. My father has never supported my mom openly and still my mom admires him like god. I have told mom many times if I were you I could have left dad long time back even though he has always been a very good father but he has always been a very spineless husband. When we have children no body teaches us how love them and raise them but I do not know why some indian men have to be tought to love and respect their wives. Life would be so easy for everyone if men learn how to balance relations.

 

Shanvy I agree but this thread is not asking for any suggestion and it gave us flash back to the problems faced by older generation. My heart broke when I read about how some ladies were tortured during their pregnancies. I hope and pray that their children have overcome all the barriers and doing fine in life. Life can be so hard for some of us. It helps us realise that the things we take for granted,some people are struggling badly for those. Ahhh life sigh!!!

 

@joyoflife i just wanted to say that sometimes there are more perspectives to a story and the interpretation to the issues. i remember malathi saying that she has not lost anything by being the way she was, she gained her husband's respect, her freedom to do what she wanted, loving kids. today grandchildren and their spouses and their extended families all in love with her. infact she is a wonderful human.

i am in the mid generation (or i think so), and my daughter does pose some of the questions that are raised here, when she sees or hears of things, i have been asked is it worth all the sacrifices ..well sometimes it is more about give,take, lose and gain. where we place the equation/weightage are our choices and only the person who makes those choices knows the reason and the repercussions of those choices. whether we tend to regret or be happy again is a direct result of those choices.

the only thing i tell my daughter, is nothing/nobody is worth letting go of your self-respect. you can make sacrifices, compromises out of your own choice, and only if you want to and not because it is expected of you. at the end, it is your life and only you will have to live it. So give it the best.

this story is just the tip of the iceberg. there are more horrible cases that are not discussed, i know of people who are reputed doctors, vp's in banks, high positions in govt. offices and more still going through more and i do not support their decision, but again i am not going to judge somebody for their choices. because the person is adult enough to make those choices..and i also believe, if the person closes her mind and believes that is is dark and no way out, none can do anything about it.

and you are absolutely right about how people take things for granted and there are some who can't stop finding faults.. the world takes all sorts of people to keep it going...

That said i have seen mil's who worry so much if the dil complains of headache, pat comes the hot filter coffee, and a paracetamol and request to go and lie down. of dil's who are asked to try out every new saree that comes into the house stating i am old, and you are young you should try all these new saree. have witnessed the mil just wearing it once for formality and giving it to dil. the attached blouses are stitched for the dil.

and again these are my personal opinions.

 

"New age" is all well and good. But it doesn't mean "swing the pendulum all the way to the opposite end". No one condones abuse or lack of respect, neither in 2004/2006, nor today. But sometimes the pendulum swings the other way too much, and you have some DILs behaving like spoilt brats as well. Thankfully, most posters are sane enough to tell them that.

Whether new age or old age - keep the balance, choose your battles wisely (this is important!) and have less problems. Cheers.

 

@Ragini25 choosing the battles wisely is not just for this relationship, but for every relationship. And don't go looking for problems or issues where there is actually nothing. do not be clouded by pre-determined notions about a particular relationship equation. Don't be too hasty in condemning a relationship without giving it time to evolve.