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Maintaining Secrecy On Il - Need Ideas Pls

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Gold IL'ite

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    This indusladies forum is quite useful, either to get solutions to problems in non judgemental way or even to share ideas and advices in other treads..
    But I was wondering , is this forum really so anonymous..anyone of you faced issue of family members or relatives finding out that you post on IL? Or have any of you been "caught red handed" like surfing or using IL forums either in shared desktop at home or even personal device like phone, tablet, personal laptops etc...? Anyone you know at any point of time saw your threads, and suing details given by you and stuff about yourself mentioned in different threads, figured out its you?
    If yes how you handle this situation? What if you were surfing something in Indus ladies, then, forgot to log out, then someone else used the device and either opened indusladies home page which came in internet history, or saw the logged in page of IL and all stuff posted under your username...how you manage situation? Or someone peeped into your computer or phone while you were surfing IL and asked you " what is this website"? It's not easy to have full privacy whether you are at home with joint family or office..even in office there will be people peeking to your PC or laptop screen seeing what you are working on..
    No one likes if anyone posted family issue in forums like this..imagine MIL finding out DIL vented about her and criticised her in public etc..or other way round...if DIL found that MIL complained about her online?it can become d most dangerous situation at home...
    Kindly give me pointers on how all are able to maintain secrecy and confidentiality while using anonymous forum like IL to vent out their personal problems?
    Kindly excuse me if this thread is off topic..but sometimes I get guilty feeling about posting about people behind their back..many times I was feeling stressed out due to health and personal and professional probs all combined and needed to vent.....at the same time I don't feel comfortable sharing any personal details or personal issues with friends as I prefer to keep hi bye relation only...
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
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  2. shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    You can browse through incognito mode from mobile.
     
  3. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Keep auto logout in chrome or Firefox.
     
    Thyagarajan and Needtobestrong like this.
  4. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

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    incognito it is :) .
     
  5. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    There is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. Anyone who is sufficiently interested can put together information shared across threads, connect the dots, and use the results to make pachadi (side-dish) or conclusively narrow down the member's real life identity.

    A periodic reminder to self about the above reality helps minimize the worry and any eventual problems of being discovered. Incognito mode of Chrome helps to the extent it says in the tab when you open it. In particular, the ISP (internet service provider) can track your activity, and the home router logs show all activity on all computers at home or mobile if it is using wi-fi. These logs can be accessed from a home computer with router admin password.

    A good rule of thumb is don't share anything that will have an extremely adverse impact on your work or personal life if your family, in-laws or colleagues found out. At the most, it should cause a light embarrassment that can be laughed off.

    For some women, it is a life-line and they benefit tremendously by sharing their problems. Such people can take a few measures such as share only the most necessary details, embellish (disguise) the details a little, incognito mode, browse only when no one else is around, browse from only one device. An extreme measure would be to stop using an id, and start using another one. There will be enthusiastic cutlet police/panchayat who will detect similarities to older id and call it out. Ignore them. Another option is to take a break now and then. Usually, old threads get buried under new ones.

    The most useful feature I found in IL was limiting who can view your profile page. That way, it becomes very hard to find all posts by you or all threads started by you. For example, here is Amulet's profile page with the Mandakini look-alike swinging away in glorious abandon:

    al.PNG

    Clicking on "Postings" in above picture shows all posts by Amulet or all threads started by her. Nevermind why anyone would want to inflict such torment on themselves.

    al2.PNG
    I would say don't react as if you were caught committing a crime. Be cool. If it becomes an issue, list how you benefit from IL, and how the complaining person also indirectly benefits from a more happy less-sad you. If all else fails, switch to attack from defense, ask back: If I were not alone, if you were on my side, I would not need to share in IL, would I?
     
    BhumiBabe, hermitcrab, Amica and 11 others like this.
  6. Amulet

    Amulet Platinum IL'ite

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    At our home my-use-of-IL or other internet portals is not a red-handed thing.
    saw all the stuff I had posted ? hahaha...:tonguewink:
     
  7. sbonigala

    sbonigala Finest Post Winner

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    Nothing is a secret once it is out in the cyber world!
    Once you put in on the internet, no matter how safe the site claims to be - there is ALWAYS a chance to get caught.
    Be mindful of what you see/post and claim to be. It is not very hard to browse incognito history!

    Just a few ways here!

    Using IP Address:

    If someone was aware of your IP Address or has permissions to view your IP’s then there is a chance to track your activity on the internet.

    Using MSPY Software:
    By using this software you can track the browsing history in almost all the browsers which you use daily. This software fits with both MAC and Windows

    Using Command Prompt
    Type ipconfig/displaydns in the command prompt to display the saved data. By doing this you can see the history time how long a user has been on a particular website.

    Using Chrome Extension
    This method is applicable only for the Google Chrome browser. The name of this extension is “OFF THE RECORD”. By simply adding this extension to your chrome browser you can track the browsing history.


    Also, remember IL is just an online platform. You never know if majority are actually women, as they claim to be. You need to use your due diligence before you post anything.
    You can deactivate an account but can NEVER delete a post. (I strongly feel the owner of the post should be allowed to remove the post as well - because the posts might be sensitive and another family member might see it - it might break marriages too!)
    Once your post is out there - it's written in rock - you can't do anything about it.
    If your problem is really sensitive - see a professional in person rather than posting it online where there is a record of every word you used!

    Good luck!
     
    Amulet, SinghManisha, lavani and 3 others like this.
  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Use privacy setting on the forum to see who all can access it.

    Make fictional side stories and characters to your story that does not change the story.

    If someone who has no proof asks...just deny and feign ignorance.

    If confronted by family and can not refute your presence on IL,tell them you have to do it maintain your sanity.
    Better to talk with strangers than neighbors.
    Give them the option which they prefer.
     
  9. GlobetrotterG

    GlobetrotterG Silver IL'ite

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    There are many ways to handle Privacy:First the basics
    1. When surfing, use google chrome incognito mode, so that once the browser is closed, the trace disappears. This is the easiest way

    2.If you think you would like to post something that's super confidential, or people do not want to judge you, please update your first Name and last name , and keep names like what you have now, assuming that you are not using the handle anywhere. E.x. Hope 'Needtobestrong' is not the term that you have used in insta, facebook, twitter etc

    3.For even safer , leverage a email/ gmail with a new address, and again when you create gmail, do not give your first name and last name. For Ex; Eventhough my name is Rekha, people cannot guess what my last name is as atleast thousands of rekha will be there in this universe anyway. Creating a new email helps as IL sends notifications

    4.At any point of conversation, never share your full name , instagram, facebook, linkedin. keep your identity private. Do not rush into exchanging personal details , be it a guy or a woman.
     
    Amulet, lavani, Anusha2917 and 2 others like this.
  10. nemesis

    nemesis Platinum IL'ite

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    Whatever said in the internet will come to haunt us later, so IL'ites, choose wisely: Family or IL?

    PS: it would be your family which drove you to rant in IL, in the first place
     

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