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Maggie and the Kidnapped Elephant

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Jun 14, 2015.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Maggie and the Kidnapped Elephant

    As u all know about the Ban on Maggie, for the excess Lead content in it, over and above the permissible limit. I have heard some people are so taken aback, this being their staple food, they have started to stock Maggie before it disappears from the shelves.

    Well i never liked Maggie, my kids did at one time.i think it is a lazy person's meal, just as i am lazy and when i have to make my own breakfast, i can just make eggs in a jify, as half fry(sunny side up), or an omlette. Or bread and butter sandwitch, with a cheese slice in between.This is fast, and this is all that i can make to keep my sould alive, with tea or coffee, andi get by for a week on this.

    i was zapped to read that Maggie sales are 2200 crores a year, and this consitutes 80% of the sales of Nestle. and the advertisment is 400 plus crores. So it must mean a lot to Nestle and this will hit them badly. Somehow i think, this is not a new problem, lead is not cheap, that they can afford to put in Maggie in excess qutanties, it has been there since long, but it has come to notice now.

    i think this controversy smacks of professional rivalry, it is not as it looks.Very soon it will come out. Somebody, or some product is gaining at Maggie's ban. Time will tell.

    Jokes abound and some ingenious ones. i think even Maggie is using Whats app, to give their version, though indirectly. One such read
    Alcholol and Cigarettes, are being sold legally, and maybe they ahve vitamins which are good for human beings, which Maggie maybe does not have !!!

    Lord Shiva found his Trishul missing. He asked Parvati, who said , Ganesh has taken it.
    Shiva- Ah today is Wednesday , and his day. Maybe the devotees are now giving him Maggie as prasad !!!!(So he can use the Trishul as a Fork !!!)

    As u know Natraj and Apsara were two prominent brands of pencils , and pencils have lead, correct ? So this is the new joke, who knows put out by Maggie chaps
    If there is excess lead in Maggie, then all men will become like Natraj Pencil, and women like Aprasa !!!

    Relax, another month, some people are pleased, and Maggie is back, with a prominent [personality advertising, that now Maggie is safe, they will show a granny and grandson eating Maggie, with the film star standing by.

    ==========================================================================

    The Kidnapped Babe

    She was kidnapped, a case registered with the police station. The police man asked
    Name - Champa
    Looks - Dark, 10 ft tall, weight 1000 kilos, maybe 2000 kilos, age 35 years.

    The policeman fainted, when he heard the description, till he came to know that it was an elephant. Seems the mahout was brining the elephant from a wedding, and ont he way, back home, he fell unconsious, he was injured, policement found him and took him to hospital, and it was then he realized his Champa was missing.
    'Kidnapped' elephant traced in forest after 35-hour hunt - The Times of India

    So a kidnapping case was lodged, the mahout suspecting that someone would have kidnapped Champa while he was unconsious. Well they started the search and after 35 hours , they found Champa roaming the outer areas of Jaipur, some 20 kms away from where she was last seen.

    Who the hell in his right mind want to kidnap an elephant? they say it is easy to buy one, very difficult to feed it. Must be, the guy must have drunk, having a free drink at the wedding, and fallen asleep and fallen off the elephant, and the elephant, poor lady she , well she went away to the forests.

    WEll once i did see a group of elephants at a signal, peak traffic, all the eelehants went , and a small baby elephant got left behind, the signal was red, who could challan the errant elephants breaking the signal eh ! While the others were strolling away, this young chap thought they had deserted him, and he charged, and there were two autos standing , and he went thru the two, the space was small, the elephant was bigger, and both the autos fell one to let and one to right, passengers screaming, and this hero of ours yelling and running after his cousins. it was a sad scene, and hilarious for us bystanders.

    And all this happened just a few days back.

    But Kamalji is a king, that is me , whom the elphants come home to see. Dont beleive me ? The pic proves it. Every year these Sadhus come, and i give them a 100 or a 500, and i click pics with the big boss, the elephant, feed him or her raw potatoes, and it is a treat to watch really.

    Chalo guys, have a great week, as i am doing reading all these things and smiling away.

    KAMAL MAHTANI


    : Santa's SWOT Analysis on his resume :-
    1⃣ Strength - My wife Manjeet.
    2⃣ Weakness - Banta's wife Manpreet.
    3⃣ Opportunity - When Banta is on Tour.
    4⃣ Threat - When I'm on Tour.

    ======================================================================
    Finally found the full form of Hmm...

    Haan Meri Maa!!!

    ======================================================================
    Confession of a Frustrated Husband...

    Today I found out that my wife is a Distant Relative of Nathuram Godse....!!!!!

    She is Constantly Eliminating Gandhis From My Wallet.....!!!!!

    ======================================================================
    Maggi tak to theek hai...


    Par agar kisi ne Dal Pakwan, Pakode ki taraf aankh bhi uthai
    to kasam se dange ho jaenge.

    ALL INDIA NASTA ASSOCIATION PRESIDENT NAMOMAL PAKODA WALA

    ==========================================================================
    Before analyzing the lead content in Maggi -

    Can the government check the alcohol content in beer please !?

    These days it takes more than 6 pints to get high. 

    =========================================================================
     
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  2. VaniVyas

    VaniVyas Platinum IL'ite

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    Happy to see you back in this forum.

    Nice post as usual. On the other side, we cannot ignore the side affects of the increasing food adulteration. It seems to have no end and day by day social networking sites are full of such posts. One complaining about maggi, other about flavor enhancing agents, fertilizers used for growing vegetables and so on.
    Yesterday I happened to read an other post where someone found a small lizard in the food served on Air India Flight. So the list is quite big.... Only a green revolution - to go back to the olden days of cultivation and hard work can save the human race from cancer and other deadly diseases.
     
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  3. surekhap

    surekhap Platinum IL'ite

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    hoo how much u write sir typing two sentences is burden for me. u r saying ur self lazy then what should i say my self.
    maggie episode is very nice.

    confession of frustrated a husband was a good one.
     
  4. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Vani,
    thank u for the welcome.

    Thanks for the first FB. REgarding the lizard , yes i read about it in the Air india Flight. Well the food comes from the caterers, and we dont expect Air india cabin staff to open each packet and check, do we ? the fault is with the caterers, but these thigns happens once in a way.So we have to take it in our stride.
    Adulteration is happening everywhere, Vani, and it is difficult to check it, All we can do is, wash our vegetables in vinegear, before cooking, and fruits too put inw ater, to take oput the wax used on them, to not buy the red apples, for they are waxed and chemicals are used, and they are expensive too.

    So at times we too are at fault for falling prey to these things.

    Regards

    kamal

     
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  5. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Surekhap,

    Welcome to my blogs.
    See the jokes are copy paste from whatrs app, i have not typed them,so no effort there.
    Regarding the blog, i use all my 10 fingers to type, and i type as i think, i dont write down and edit what i want to post, this is impromptu.

    Thank u for the kind words and keep coming.

    Regards

    kamal

     
  6. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, the latest is the US has banned a lot of Haldiram's snacks, Brittania products as well as HUL products. Their claim is that Haldiram's snacks have unacceptable levels of pesticide in them. The Haldiram's spokes person has stated that it conforms to Indian law and the accepted levels for everything vary from country to country. Does that mean the the Indian system has been made to tolerate pesticides better than the American system? God only help us. The interesting fact is that the guy has not even bothered to deny the presence of pesticides in snacks. Which makes me wonder, where did they get in from?

    At this rate, we will soon all have to go on starvation diets ..... and our remaining lives will seem loooooooooong enough!
     
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  7. vjbunny

    vjbunny IL Hall of Fame

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    dear Kamalji
    Nice to see yo back in IL like u have pointed out its all politics of gaining market n for that US too has jumped into bandwagon with a kinda slapping game Lord save us citizens
     
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  8. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji,

    While one set of people have the sophistication to talk about the contents of each processed food packet, there are several others who is looking to eat something and not even worry about awareness with respect to the content. Because of this wide difference in awareness, it is absolutely essential that regulatory authorities are much more responsible in unbiased review of the content in each processed food packet. But as you say, who knows, Maggie could be back on the shelves as soon as possible with their power to negotiate with the government and with their hefty ad budget.

    Who in the right frame of mind would kidnap an elephant knowing fully well that maintaining an elephant is more expensive? You are better off giving bananas and coconut to meet and greet an elephant brought by Sadhus.

    Jokes are excellent!

    Viswa
     
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  9. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Dear K ji,

    I have been reading about maggie and like coke I can claim that I have barely eaten it and so have my kids. It never occurred to me as a staple food and I literally had to force it down my kids the couple of times i tried.

    You know that is what my kids do when they come to India...ride an elephant or a camel, yes there are people who bring them just like how you said :)

    Nice to read you again. Trust you are keeping well.
     
  10. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji the banning of maggi has actually made shopkeepers at least the small ones hit a jackpot. They are selling the noodles at a premium to maggi addicts. You see banning things always leads to an increase in their value. Good that the mahout didn't file a complaint that the elephant had eloped with a male elephant.
     

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