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Madurai Questions -- Oj's Witless Brevity 1

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by ojaantrik, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    The restaurant stood in the vicinity of the Meenakshi Temple. Was it 1975? Or, 76?

    No fancy joint. Catering to middle class tourists. Not upper. They still exist in West Bengal's highways. Came across one such, recently on a highway near Murshidabad. Time defaced dark wooden tables, seating four persons on straight back chairs. Semi-clean.

    We occupied a vacant table and a youngish waiter took our order. Hungry non-vegetarian Bengalis in veggie Madurai.

    Bisleri was yet to be born. And we were thirsty. A stainless steel jug was waiting on the table and two steel glasses arrived soon. I filled up her glass.

    "What a work of art, this temple," I told her. She was tired after a longish walk. Conversation helps, I felt. I was greeted by a miserable expression on her face. The place looked tolerably clean to me. But then women after all tend to ..., I thought.

    "What's wrong?" said I. She moaned pathetically. "Where's the ladies' room? Please find out. I can't hold back much longer ..."

    Not a grumbling woman. A doubtless emergency instead. From the look of the restaurant, its facilities were unlikely to appeal. I sprang to attention nonetheless, like Livingstone in search of the Victoria Falls.

    When I ran into the waiter who had taken our order. Where there is a will, there must be a way, I told myself. And, to attend to the problem immediately, I asked him a straight question. "Where is the you know what ...?" "For ladies," I clarified.

    His reaction puzzled me. It appeared as if he was totally ignorant of calls of nature arriving at women's doors. He fumbled, looking in every direction, including the ceiling and the way leading out of the restaurant. A lone soldier of a defeated army he was, lost in wilderness. Finally, he excused himself and disappeared. And I faced her again at the table, in animation, watching the normally placid expression on her face gradually turning into allegation. "I haven't asked you for the Kohinoor, have I?" her eyes appeared to be accusing. Tearfully now.

    During such circumstances, minutes resemble hours. And after several of those, the fellow reappeared, beckoning to me from a spot out of her hearing range.

    As I dashed across and stood next to him, he whispered into my ears with supreme modesty, "Saar ... is it stool ... or urine ...? ... Saar?
     
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  2. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Oj da!! Now you leave us hanging wondering - well not about what she wanted but how you handled it :) I can see how you may have fumbled back trying to figure that out now. Oh you poor Oj da! I tell you if you felt that fetching that kohinoor is easier in such circumstances, I am with you! Why? I will even go help you fetch one. But I do have to agree with 'her' - in such circumstances who wants to talk about the architecture for crying out loud! And yes, it is us only women who can think of diamonds under any circumstances!

    So saar...if there is more to this story, here's one more person eagerly waiting!
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2016
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  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Haha oj such a sweet post. Yes as they say for the big job or the small job.
    The same problem when we came to Jaipur in the eighties.
    Harsha and me going to printers no place for ladies for this or that. We had to rush to airport pay entrance fee and do the job. We men, Saar, can discuss it anywhere.
    Hahaha. Superb oj Ad only u can write. Brilliant
     
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  4. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Srama,

    Thank you so much for your quick response. I decided to start a series. OJ's Witless Brevity. This is the first instalment. I will keep numbering them.

    Regarding the question you have asked, I will offer you a guarded reply. Brevity, they say, is the soul of wit. Mystery, I say, is the soul of a story!!! :blush:

    oj-da

     
  5. Srama

    Srama Finest Post Winner

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    Mystery it is then Oj Da :)
     
  6. umaakumar

    umaakumar Finest Post Winner

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    Dear OJ,

    Nice reading about the most common thing that can happen to any of us.

    Waiting to read more posts from you
     
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  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sri Ojaantrik:

    This snippet of yours reminded me of our recent trip to Vaitheeswaran Koil. The Temple was about to close in a few minutes and we were in a hurry to have dharshan of the ultimate doctor inside. Suddenly, it occurred to me that we were all traveling a long distance without a break and I casually asked my wife, "Whether she or her mother had to use the rest room?" They both smiled as though I have invented relativity theory and nodded in response. I sent the owner/driver of the tourist car on an expedition and after good 5-10 minutes, he came back victorious with a good news that he found a place near the place where the car was parked.

    It was a marriage hall for mass marriages performed from time to time. A watchman like guy standing outside said, "men to the left and women to the right of the building". We walked a long distance to find a set of nasty looking toilets" There was no option but to use it as otherwise, by the time we find a good hotel, we would have missed dharshan. We decided to sacrifice hygiene in order to have dharshan of Lord Shiva.

    Another time, my wife was shopping a saree in Kanchipuram and because of my prostate condition and medication, I had to go to the rest room. A shop employee made me walk almost to the next street and I had to walk through ankle deep water before I could hit the toilet. But such sacrifices are worth for the feeling of relieving oneself.

    Viswa
     
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  8. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamal,

    You have just read the first instalment of my new series. "OJ's Witless Brevity". Harsha and you rushed to the airport? You know what we do these days? We head for the nearest 4-5 star joint, order a coffee and rush for the loo. Expensive, yes. But not as expensive as the Kohinoor!

    oj

     
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  9. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear umakumar,

    Thank you for your response. Yes, a common problem indeed. These are the tales that we can identify ourselves most with!

    Best regards.

    oj



     
  10. ojaantrik

    ojaantrik IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Viswa,

    True enough. Occurs to all of us, as umakumar points out. What has stuck to my mind in this tale is summarised by the last line I guess.

    Bedt regards.

    oj

     

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