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Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Dec 2, 2011.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Maa

    Todays newspapers had a very sad story. The Hindi Newspaper Dainik Bhaskar of 2nd dec 11 had this story.



    Sriganganagar – Rajasthan – Vidyadevi , a mother of 4 sons, has paralysis, was since a year locked up in a room by her son, and dIL, and food given afew times a day. She would cry wholeday to be let out, till she fell exhausted, and then kept quiet. The neighbours were privy to all this, till one day they complained to the authourities who rescued her.

    Seems the deal between the 4 brothers was , that she would rotate with them each keeping her for a month, and then leaving her at the other brothers place, a la that movie Babhbaan . She is bedridden and paralytic .

    How do things come to these limits I wonder. I know most respect their parents, but some people can be monsters, like these 4 sons. I just wonder how they can go off to sleep, leaving their mother like this.

    She should have been a queen, having 4 sons, for don’t people celebrate even these days, when they get a son, a prized possession. They go to all the possible Gods and Temples to pray for a son, and here she has 4 ! The lord was kind on her, to give her a bountiful, or was he ?

    Well we all keep hearing all these , this is nothing new that I tell u. To those whose sons are good and caring, it is heaven. But for ladies like these it is hell. There is a curse in Sindhi, where a mother says to her lousy son “ I wish u had died at birth”, I guess that applies to these 4 rascals.

    And this lady seems uneducated, as many were from that era. Let us come to today’s times where most like us are educated, and our children , sons or daughters are to get married.Soon we will have daughter in laws, and I guess even today many harbor that dream of a joint family, and playing with their grandchildren, where the DIL will come and massage yr feet at night, to put u to sleep, or where she will oil yr hair for a good shampoo later !

    Come o n, grow up, these days with high paying salaries, the companies transfer u from one city to another, and u cant say no. So even if u have a son, he will marry, and take his family and go stay in the city where he is working. So if daughters leave u after marriage, so will the sons after marriage and carreer. Then what !

    And what if theman or the woman dies. So one partner is left, so what. Cant they stay alone, with out the crutches of the son or the dIL.they may fear a robber will kill them or a thief, or they may fall sick and die . All baseless, for if u keep good relations with neigbours , for u don’t live in the jungle, but in dense neighbourhoods, how will this happen ?

    And instead of thinking of playing with grandkids, why not learn some new skills like blogging, solving suduko, or make friends, join a club, and make merry. You have a house, jewellery, maybe pension coming in, live with the luxuries of servants, a driver if u can afford, and doctors on call.

    Learn to be independent, and tell the kids, not to worry, if they send some money, fine, if they don’t, don’t complain, for it is your own fault if u have not prepared for life after retirement ,if u were working, or life after the sons are married, and gone.

    Wish there was someone to teach the elderly how to live by themselves, and not use the sons as crutches, and be shifted from one son to another, I think it is shameful of the parents to accept this,
    And equally shameful of course for the sons to subject their parents to all this cruelty. This lady is uneducated, so can understand her sentiments of sticking to her sons, I just wish, we educated lot learn from this and start preparing seriously about how to be independent, financially, and without help of any child in our old ages.

    What else to say, friends, words fail me to describe all this.

    KAMAL MAHTANI

    As people see this joke, they think I am addicted to joking and posting jokes, but actually I am addicted to holding relationships because
    “ hare k friend zaroori hota hai,
    Koi kutta (dog) to koi Kamina,
    Par hare k friend zaroori hota hai !!!



    After pawar was slapped,inflation came down to 9%, from 10.8 %
    Sensex jumped 200 points
    Rupee appreciated 23 paise.
    Pawar should be slapped daily ? !!!



    George Bush was having tea with Dr. Abdul Kalam. As they put the sugar in the tea
    Bush - Sugar is the only word in which S is prounced as SH
    Dr. Kalam – Are u Sure !!!!!!


    First sign of old age is
    Wrinkles – NO
    Medicines – NO
    Baldness – Certainly NO
    Then ?
    When she starts TRUSTING u !!!


    I am not a sympathizer, I know how it feels to be slapped by a Sardar
    Sheeshant’s sms to Sharad Pawar !!!
     
    11 people like this.
  2. EverHappy

    EverHappy Platinum IL'ite

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    This article created a rush of thoughts in my mind..
    Now I structure it..
    Very thought provoking article Kamal Ji, not only for the elders to learn but for youngsters as well.

    I guess the whole issue revolves around expectations. When parents have their new borns, they think and behave like there is no life beyond the child. Though deep inside they may know that the child can never be under their wings always. I am in no way condemning their love, but parents have to realise that the child will have its own life.

    At the same time, we children have to know what it is to bring up a child, and how much of love goes into it. The only thought of being in their shoes can shake us up.

    True, cultivating hobbies, interests for old age is the apt thing to do, who wants to be sulking and locked up.. But, this is possible only when the same old people when were young should have kept some part of their lives for themselves as well. Its a vicious cycle.

    Its just a principle similar to birds, can a mother bird keep the young one in the nest always, no, she has to let go at some point. At the same time, children treating dependent parents this way is totally unacceptable irrespective of their own reasons. The mother risks her life to give birth to the child (ya, may be her choice but she did it), its not that she did that out of selfishness, but out of love. Even if we reciprocate to her with a 0.001% of that love, we will not see such things.
     
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  3. GeethaMR

    GeethaMR Silver IL'ite

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    Kamalji, as usual you have written it well. But reading your post makes one sadder:drowning:drowning

    May i request you to write a post in Snippets or Senior section detailing what all a senior citizen could do without straining him/her physically or financially - something like "21 things for Seniors to do to stay forever young at heart" ?
    With your humourous style, it will be great reading it.

    Geetha
     
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  4. sushmavja

    sushmavja Platinum IL'ite

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    heart touching post kamalji..and the parents have to be open for any situation.now a days girls take good care of parents rather than the sons..
    good jokes as always
     
  5. vidchakra

    vidchakra Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,
    I agree 200% with you...
    Its better to be prepared and become independent both monetarily and emotionally... And keeping oneself busy is very much needed...
    All said and done the bond and love to children is always there... But can we help in such cases!
     
  6. SSC

    SSC Platinum IL'ite

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    Kamalji,
    That was a very disturbing story... Wish that happens to no mother! Yes independence is a two-way road. The parents need to be on their own, or learn to be on their own, if they are to have such monsters as children... You dont even have to be alone when you are old. These days there are so many senior citizen residences, that have all the facilities - independent apartment style units in a common community.. What stops them? Friends and society criticizing them for having brought up indifferent children who dont care about them in their old age! Wish such parents grow up, and also wish such children are punished!
     
  7. prana

    prana IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Sir,

    You hit a nail on the head..I agree with you 100%..
    But sometimes this emotional feelings take over us right..I think we indians are more sensitive people..thats why these kinds of problems arises..well I think it takes some time for the aprents to be independent from their children..lets hope for the best..
     
  8. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Kamalji
    for us it is weekend na last night just read it and went off so her I am with an fb..haha
    Your posts are like pinning those lazy moms oye wake up ladies do something for yourself until your hands and legs are still in working condition, save for your old age....
    It is so cruel of those sons to treat that mom so rudely where she needs them the most during that time they want to lock her behind the doors???? Feel like kicking such sons.

    You know when my son and myself have a fight(just kiddy fights with love) I tell him God knows if you will ever take care of me when I will become old, it is better i takecare of myself......hehehe he gets so angry on this and just stops the fight. It is like emotional black mailing......hahaha
    Just pray that I will get a good DIL...hahaha

    But what is the mistake of these parents they spent all they life earnings on these kids to make they future and in the end they might not be having anything left for themself to save for the future. But today's parents should become smart. :)
     
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  9. amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    disturbing story but... left a message in everyone's heart who read this.. thanks for posting...
     
  10. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Ever Happy,
    Welcome to my posts, with a wonderful and sensible FB.

    You know , if u had read my previous blogs, u will feel i am repeating myself, and u would be right, for i have written about this subject many a times here. of course the characters involved were different.

    Yes, even if we pay back a fraction to our parents that wouyld be good.

    Let me tell u of my family. We are 4 brothers, no sister, mom alive, dad expired 15 years back. Dad was so smart, he made sure all of us were independent, he gave us each an office and a residence, and sperated us, and we are glad.Two brothres stay with mom, and all the money and flat and office of mumbai is in the n ame of mom. She is financailly comfortable. She is 80, on her own feet, and a queen. And very soical she is.

    i wish the elders would realize to leave the kids on their own, and to have their own home, however small be it, and some money, and not spend it on their kids, but save enough for their old age. Once u have yr own money, everyone respoects u like hell. HAHA

    i too have two daqughers, one married, one to go, i am keeping all to myself, and after we both are no more, it goes to the kids, till then we have a ball. And i love blogging, reading, making friends, playing cards, so i am never bored, and nevrer will be.

    Regards

    kamal
     

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