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Lots Of Bull

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Balajee, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    I am in a state of utter despair and would pull my hair if I could. Unfortunately I keep getting my head shaved too regularly for that and my beard is not long enough to pull. I am getting paranoid too and my head is teeming with conspiracy theories. Are our politicians plotting to put out of business those who tickle your funny bones with their blogs (Meaning me)?


    Why this sudden despair you may wonder. For donkey’s years guys like me have written funny things about our netas. But nowadays our beloved leaders are becoming ROFL stuff themselves and you cannot be funnier than them when they are so absolutely howlerious.


    Take the case of the Haryana animal husbandry minister.(Why is Haryana of late playing such a big role in making us laugh. Earlier there was the guy in the buff who addressed the state legislative assembly and now this guy). The minister, Om Prakash Dhankar says foreign bulls have no character.


    Come again? Does that sound like lots of bull? Please don’t be in a ROFL state now itself. I have a lot to say and have the unenviable task of outdoing the honourable minister in the humour sweepstakes So bear with me.


    Taking part in a debate on stray cattle menace sorry just stray cattle (No menace. Cattle are holy), the good minister blamed the situation of cattle blocking the roads on “foreign bulls” . A big salute to you Dhankar sir. You have extended the borders of xenophobia to include cattle.


    Now here is a small explanation. These bulls are not exactly foreign invaders. They are the byproducts of union between foreign bulls and desi un-sanskari cows that are shameless enough to have a rollicking affair with these videshis. I think the minister should take steps to disqualify these immoral cows to be called gomatas.


    And according to Dhankar, these hybrids have the character of the people of the countries from where their immoral dads came to India. There is so much of stray cattle because these horny (no pun intended) bulls are always after cows and their affection is 24x7, 365 days a year and they care two hoots for mating seasons. They have no consideration for our sacred gomatas and are always ready to outrage their modesty. They are so lusty let alone gomatas even buffalo matas aren’t safe from their lascivious intentions.


    There is so much of hoopla in Haryana over cow protection. They have even appointed a senior IPS officer to protect cows and ensure that the bovines are not smuggled out for slaughter. And the worthy lady officer Bharati Arora, to prove her worth made a statement that the money from cattle smuggling is used for terrorism.


    Oh where is the evidence? Has Pakistan's ISI gone bankrupt? Aw come on. The lady has an unenviable boring assignment So she a right to let her imagination run amuck to convince herself and the world that she has a great job.. Anyway it is nice that they have set up such a farce oops sorry force. They were not able to protect women from getting raped particularly during the recent Jat community agitation for job reservations when passengers were dragged out of vehicle and raped. But after that the police proved its efficiency by covering up the incidents.


    Will the cow protection cops protect the modesty of desi gomatas from being outraged by the “foreign “ bulls with high testosterone levels? No silly. They certainly don’t mean that by cow protection. It means protecting cows from homo sapiens who want to convert them. No this is not a religious issue at all They want to convert them into beef for a date with people’s alimentaries..

    Now how do you guard the sacred cows from lusty bulls? I have no clue but a simple idea. Why don’t we extend the law providing for death to rapists to these half-breed bovines too? That way we could save the cows and have our beef at the same time.
     
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2016
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  2. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    looking at all these, it does make me wonder, if it is high time now to conduct an attitude and an aptitude test for all politicians to check if they really suit the role!

    Or maybe create a new 'common sense' test just for them!
     
    Balajee likes this.
  3. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Balajee,

    Hilarious! You ended up beating the humor of the Minister in Haryana through this snippet. May be it is time to provide all cows should wear garments and explain how they should cover themselves while roaming the streets. Moral policing should take place to conduct courses to the cows.
    Haryana is a state where men to women ratio is disproportionate. Perhaps, this is true with the bulls and cows.

    It is time to ban interracial marriages between videshi bulls and cows that results in deshi bulls of next generation becoming rogues. All those rogue bulls need to be neutered as a punishment for violating the holy cows in India.

    You can't blame the minister. He is at a different level of treating animals better than human beings. How he would react if it happens to a women is a different story altogether.

    Viswa
     
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2016
  4. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Viswa during the Jat agitation in Haryana recently, women were dragged out of vehicles and raped and the cops simply covered it up. Thanks to an alert media the cat was out of the bag. So the minister and his colleagues are not really bothered about human matas but only gomatas. If they want to protect cows for raging firanghee bulls that have no morals, cows must be made to wear chastity belts and clothes over it. The minister will decide how long their attire should be to ensure that they remain modesty and do not attract lusty "foreign" bulls.
     
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  5. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    I think instead of attitude and aptitude tests these jo0kers must be left at sub szero high altitude where they will freeze to death.
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    thats a load of bull **** that the minister is talking about. HAHA. WE are having the same problem of cows and bull roaming the streets here in jaipur itself. To escape accountability the ministers saying this bull about bulls. Hilarious way i have written Balaji MV just too good
     
  7. SeekingMind

    SeekingMind Silver IL'ite

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    Very humorous and excellent write-up. Thanks for it.
    A country that produces geniuses like Abdul Kalamji also produces such idiots. Sad!
    Unless the people really wake up, very little can be done to finish off these useless fellows running the country.
     
  8. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Kamalji, now foreign bulls are the scapegoats for our politicians incapability. Everybody is responsible for our woes, cattle or otherwise, except ministers and babus. Mera Bharat Mahaan. Gomata ki jai!
     
  9. Balajee

    Balajee IL Hall of Fame

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    Seekingmind, we get the kind of politicians we deserve. If we elect fools and rogues we alone are responsible. Abdul Kalams emerged despite the kind of conditions prevailing in the country, not because of them.
     
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